His New Wife’s A Surgeon, Too

I’m a wreck on 95

I hate this damn commute

Everyone’s in panic mode

On the only friggin’ route

There’s a rumor goin’ round

A big layoff’s on the way

We all got called into the office

Today is Judgment Day

My boss is 25

She has several colorful tattoos

I’ve been thinking lately

I should get a few

My neighbor’s grass is greener

His new Porsche is very fast

His smile’s real bright

That guy is such an ass

My neighbor’s pool is deeper

His kid got into M I T

I saw him down at Trader Joe’s

I made sure he did not see me

This morning’s news is grim

Did he just start World War Three?

He might kill us all

But at least he won’t deport me

My broker left a voice mail

He made a few bad calls

But he said I shouldn’t worry

When the market starts to fall

The lawn guy raised his price

He blames the cost of fuel

I just ordered new countertops

I’m paying for private school

My neighbor’s house is bigger

And he’s got one in Bermuda

He’s so comfy in his skin

His new twins could not be cuter

My neighbor’s hair is thicker

He’s quicker with his quips

He makes it look so easy

Makes me wanna call it quits

I was chilling at the club

Waiting on my tee time

When her sister called from rehab

Just to bitch and whine

The pre-school sent an urgent text

‘Cause Bobby tossed his breakfast

I had to miss my round

Because our nanny left us

Dad escaped from memory care

While Mom was cruising the Bahamas

He showed up in the Lego Store

In his slippers and pajamas

My neighbor’s grass is greener

His new wife’s a surgeon, too

They take their boat to Nassau

Every week or two

My neighbor’s pool is deeper

His kid got into M I T

I saw him down at Trader Joe’s

I made damn sure he did not see me

I made damn sure he did not see me