Swedish Meatballs

My oldest daughter needed a new bed and mattress for her room, and since we all needed a few things for the house—including a replacement for our slightly overused couch—we decided to make the yearly pilgrimage to Ikea for a good dose of Swedish meatballs (which have gotten pricier since our last visit) and some decoration ideas. The fact that my wife wanted to see a few things at UNC Charlotte sealed the plan: we’d spend the weekend and make a family trip out of it.

I left work a couple of hours earlier than usual, and we all piled into the minivan for the two-plus-hour drive. We arrived in Charlotte just a hair short of six o’clock and went straight to the mall where the American Girl store was—or, as we soon learned, used to be. Our daughters grew out of playing with dolls many years ago, but the store is a pleasant memory for us, and we always make a point of visiting, even when we’re not going to buy anything.

It was a bit of a bummer to learn the store had closed, but we were all in high spirits and decided to walk around the mall and maybe grab something at the food court if we got hungry. So we wandered, my wife and I chatting while the girls ducked in and out of stores, and by the time we’d worked up an appetite, the food court felt too crowded and noisier than what we were looking for. So we drove to the hotel, checked in, and ate at the restaurant before heading up to our rooms.

Saturday morning, my wife and I let the kids sleep in and walked across the street and the tram tracks to a cozy Yemeni coffee shop (pictured here), where we had time to talk and enjoy lattes loaded with cardamom and cinnamon, plus some pastries. It was only when the girls texted to say they were up that we went back for the car and drove to Ikea. That’s when we learned this store is closing too, though it wasn’t clear whether they’re relocating somewhere nearby or shutting down for good. If it’s the latter, that’s yet another place we’ll have to drive to Richmond, Virginia, to see.

The store was crowded and full of items at 50% off, and since we knew exactly what we were after and have been there a few times over the years, we decided to take the shortcuts through the showroom and head straight for what we wanted. That didn’t stop us from taking small detours to look at things that piqued our curiosity, so we ended up spending a few hours there anyway, between browsing and the obligatory stop at the cafeteria. By the time we got back to the car, we had a long list of things that needed to be trimmed down and discussed as a family—and were better ordered online anyway, since quite a few of them were already out of stock. We left with only what could be carried in one of their iconic yellow bags.

The rest of the day was spent driving and walking around the UNC Charlotte campus—all the stores were closed, so my wife didn’t get the sweater she wanted—and taking pictures all over the place. Then we went back to the hotel and rested a few hours before walking across the street for tacos and arepas, followed by a walk back to the Yemeni coffee place, this time with the whole gang, for a pot of black tea with mint and cloves. We had such a good time talking and laughing that we stayed until it got dark.

Back in our rooms, the girls knocked on our door half an hour later to say they were going down to the outdoor pool. So down to the pool we all went, and we watched them swim and have a great time while we enjoyed another chance to talk in the cooler evening air.

We returned home on Sunday, which to me is the best part of any trip. When we finally got off I-40 to take the exit to our town, our eldest exclaimed her joy at being back home—something I never get tired of hearing, knowing full well how much she also wants to start her own independent life somewhere else.

During the drive, my wife and I talked about what’s waiting for us this week, and about what the end of summer and the start of the school year mean for us. And somewhere in the back and forth, she asked what I think was the most important question of the entire conversation, if not the year: what are you working for?

I have to confess that I couldn’t answer it. What I am fairly certain of is that it doesn’t feel like I’m working toward anything that aligns with my values or with what motivates me. And if, at my age, I feel that I’m not spending my working hours on something that energizes me—then what am I working for? The question has me stumped.

Part of me knows that work gives me the ability to do exactly what we did this weekend, without being so financially constrained that we can’t turn something as simple as a trip to Ikea into a family outing. That’s definitely something my hard work allows me to do right now. But another part of me feels that there’s more to work than a paycheck—something that motivates you to give all you’ve got and then some. It’s the personal satisfaction that comes not from having helped sell a few more software licenses at the end of the day, but from something with deeper meaning: helping find a cure for cancer, or a better way of using the Earth’s resources that doesn’t destroy the environment or cause problems for future generations.

At the end of the day, I always give 100% and more. And given the choice, I’d rather see that effort go toward something with a lasting effect, and not toward something that will be forgotten the next time someone updates their computer.