the grass is greener where you water it

I’ve always enjoyed a thoughtful, clever, and insightful aphorism or proverb. Any worldly and weighty saying that encourages me to think or see the world in a new way—to reflect on what I know and get curious about what I don’t—will always be welcomed. And, of course, much like any other philosophical writer and artist, I have my favourites. The days are long, but the years are short; ignorance is bliss; there is truth in wine and children; actions speak louder than words; and beauty is in the eye of the beholder; all act as a powerful reminder as I go through life.

And yet, perhaps one of the most notable of all is one that I can’t quite seem to find solace in. While the saying the grass is always greener on the other side of the fence may be both highly true and relevant to human nature, it often feels like a double-edged sword. Indeed, one will always make assumptions that those around them are better off, or that one will always want what they don’t or can’t have, but the reality is never as simple as that. In many ways, it feels as if the statement in and of itself is an ultimate truth—that, try as we might, we will always covet that of others or that which we don’t have—as if we will always want more, strive for better, and never be content with where we are. And that, Reader, is the part I struggle with.

Personally, I much prefer the more modern rebuttal of the grass is greener where you water it. I, perhaps like you, have spent a portion of my life looking outside of myself for answers, for guidance, for happiness—far longer than I’d care to admit. And yet, the only thing I achieved in doing so was an overwhelming feeling of lack, loss, and inadequacy. I will forever be an advocate of another firm favourite adage of mine—comparison is the thief of joy—for that very reason. Any time we feel the desire to look outside of ourselves, we’re looking in the wrong direction. After all, happiness, true contentment, and real fulfilment all start with us.

Rather than looking around you to see what might make you happy or bring a sense of joy to your life, there’s a case for focusing wholly on yourself. Intellectually speaking, we all do know that what we see of others is never the full truth—it’s a curated snippet chosen to be shown. Beyond that, it’s also a large reflection of our own perception—inasmuch as we may even have potentially crafted an entire narrative around our limited and vastly uninformed assumptions that doesn’t marry up to the truth in any way, shape, or form. And yet, we don’t always acknowledge that.

This is why the true path to inner peace will always begin with a firm understanding of what might be hindering it in the first place, followed by an acknowledgement of what has the potential to bring that about. And Reader, that will often involve choosing to water your own grass, nurture your own soil, and focus on curating a meaningful life from where you are right here, now, today—in your current reality. While there is no one set answer, one set path—prioritising the habits, actions, and behaviours that will support you on the journey to getting there matters greatly. And in my experience, the process looks a lot like this.