What if everything you were taught about making it in this industry was designed to keep you exactly where you are, broke, desperate, willing to take the next gig at whatever price, thinking just one more gig will get me to where I want to go?
After all you got into this industry to be a filmmaker and you were told networking was key and the best way to network was to get on set.
We were sold the “ideal” but they knew it would never actually happen for 95% of us.
By the end of this article I want to leave you with three specific conclusions I have landed on. But I want to walk you through how I got there first.
You are not currently rethinking your whole career because you woke up some random Tuesday and decided “today is the day I will forsake the last 20 years of my life’s work as meaningless.” You are doing it because you have “awakened” to the reality of our time.
I know I feel like I'm being a bit existential but hear me out.
The “millennial career crises” is not the same “midlife crises” that our Baby Boomer parents had. They had the opportunity to buy new cars, a bigger house, a BOAT, or go on lavish vacations.
No, you’re dealing with something much different. There is this huge awakening happening right now not only in our industry but in our culture, especially the American culture.
We kept absorbing the same message, on repeat, from every movie, show, book, every conversation with people older and wiser than us who kept regurgitating what they thought was good advice.
“Keep your head down, work hard, and you will be rewarded. You’ll get to have a family buy a house and live a good life”
We were sold an idea a “dream,” but now we’re asking, who does that dream actually serve?
This Argument is 500 Years Old
I got a comment on one of my reels over on Instagram recently, that said something to the effect of: what you’re saying is BS, millennials are just lazy and need to get off their butts and do the work, then they will make it in the industry.
WRONG
Anyone who grew up watching Ever After will get what I'm saying here. I remember Danielle telling the Prince something to the effect of:
If you let a whole generation grow up inside a broken system and then blame them for not succeeding in it, you did not fail by accident. You built the trap first and then punished them for falling into it.
I want to be clear that I am not bitter about this. I don’t have time in my life to spend on bitterness. I am simply, finally, fully awake to the fact that I gave 20 of the best years of my life to an ideal I no longer believe. which is exactly why, as I walk into another year of life, I am stepping away from the things that led me here.
It does not matter how good you are. It does not matter how much or how hard you work, it will never be enough for them. The people at the top, because they built the system to keep the top reserved for themselves. The big directors from the 80’s and 90’s are still big directors today. This is not unique to filmmaking, it is how most major systems work.
If you are just now waking up, if you got into filmmaking because you wanted to be a filmmaker and instead chose the jobs that paid the bills over the art you actually wanted to create, hear me out on this. There is no shame in that choice. NONE.
I made that choice without fully realizing that was the choice I was making.
You are not alone.
Let me say that again, in my best inner Robin Williams voice from Good Will Hunting.
You. Are. Not. Alone. It is not your fault.
But now it is your choice.
Are you going to stay in that place of regret or are you going to make the courageous scary choice to step out of it, and make that 15 y/o version of you proud for taking the risk. The one that the 80 y/o version of you will be able to say proudly “I have no regrets".
I’ve made the choice will you join me?
I’m currently working on my film Before We Knew, I took a step of faith with almost zero money to produce a feature film with two of my uni friends who felt the same way.
It will never win an Oscar. And that’s ok. I don’t need one.
I want to encourage you to make less “Oscar worthy” films, instead, make the films your heart needs right now. The one you’ve been wanting to make since you were first inspired to become a filmmaker. Make it for the 15 and 80 year old versions of you.
So here is the TLDR, the three takeaways:
You are not alone
It is not your fault
Your film does not have to be huge to matter.
Let me know what film you’ve always wanted to make but haven’t yet and why, I know people all over the world, maybe I can connect with someone who can become part of your team.
Until next time,
Shawna Carroll
This is a great article that showcases the exact system you’re waking up to has cracked before, and the filmmakers who seized that same moment in the 70’s are the blueprint for what you can do right now:
And if y’ouse ever wondered why the broken promise of “work hard and you’ll make it” doesn’t just disappoint you but actually destabilizes your whole nervous system, this is a great article by none other than Jen Esposito:
Really been loving your writing Jen thanks for being here 🫶🏼
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