The Question That Unlocked Jane's Memoir

If you’ve ever felt completely overwhelmed by how to write your memoir, let me tell you about Jane.

I first met Jane during the pandemic when she joined my 12-month program for creative nonfiction writers. She joined my community, the R/evolution Story Lab, as a Founding Member this year.

We’ve become friends, and I love that our conversations about writing are ongoing now that we hang out so often in community with our Revolutionaries.

Jane recently completed a novel — yay, Jane! — and is drafting a medical memoir that’s she’s been working on for several years.

When she came to my Ask Me Anything call last week she didn’t know how it would all come together or where to focus.

Jane has amassed a LOT of material since she began documenting her journey to get a correct diagnoses and finally regain her vitality and health.

With a laugh she called her tendency to get an idea, sit down and then write much more than she intended to a novelist’s problem.*

* Jane I have this problem, too, even though I don’t write novels…but in my case it might be an ADHD tangential thinking problem. :)

I admit, I stalled for a moment or two trying to think of how to articulate what I was thinking. I took a big sip of my cranberry-raspberry mio water and before I could say anything helpful Tasha jumped in and kicked off an incredible conversation.

What happened next was the very opposite of how we have been programmed to think that writing a book happens.

Not alone, in solitude, sweating it out at a desk or cafe. Not with an underlying sense of competition I’ve often felt in workshops and writerly events. And certainly not with an “expert” whose role was to have The Answer.

What I witnessed was what happens when a group of writers share a passion for personal storytelling paired with a spirit of generosity.

This was the collective working in collaboration to help another writer tell her story, make art and contribute to a conversation Jane knows is relevant right now when so many people are dealing with mysterious illnesses and can’t seem to find the answers.

Listening to the writers in the room treat Jane’s project with as much curiosity and excitement as if it were their own led to a major breakthrough for Jane, and to a beautiful a-ha moment for me.

Here’s what went down:

Visual storymapping

Tasha suggested Jane start with a mind map that had her body in the centre and spokes connecting outward to link subjects/chapters on blood, hormones, etc, with page numbers to reference where those stories appear throughout the book. “So not linear in times or systems but almost like a choose-your-own-adventure for your reader.” She also suggested a table of contents to help navigate a book that could be read in different ways.

Millie asked whether a diagnosis could be the container? a bunch of them?

Hermit crab essayingThat’s when Carole remembered she’d written a hermit crab essay in the form of a medical research paper that included an interview with herself as the patient.

Tasha then offered that pre and post-op instructions would allow dates of tests and diagnoses to bridge the gap in experiences… and Jane lit up.

My book might be a hermit crab! It could be my medical file with intake assessments, and impressions…YES! Jane landed on the structure that could become the organizing principle she needed to bring all the interconnected fragments together.

Intake assessments would naturally include patient history which would allow her to summarize what had happened in the past, thereby solving the time problem and the interconnectedness of everything problem.

The topics she wrote about would come up again and again as she saw different doctors on her ongoing journey to restore her health.

I’m now considering changing the name of our Ask Me Anything calls to Ask US anything… because my only contribution was suggesting that Jane consider including Rate Your MD evaluations so she ALSO got to do some evaluations on her experience being a patient…

The next day Jane reported back that she’d written for three hours after our call and was so excited to keep going.

My breakthrough was about the speed at which a solution became possible when the writing room isn’t a room but a hive.

Since I began writing creative nonfiction my belief has been that anyone can learn the skills. That storying our lives doesn’t have to be an agonizing process, re-activate trauma or take forever to write something powerful.

I believe the opposite is true: that when we know what to do we can write incredibly potent first drafts quickly that become amazing books, and that the process can be enjoyable—joyful even!

Some of the writers in the hive with us last Thursday have been coming to my monthly write-ins faithfully for years. A few have only been a part of my community for several months.

But we have a shared language. We all speak creative nonfiction. We all have the same desire to write, read and celebrate our stories.

That was my vision for R/evolution Story Lab and therein was the breakthrough.

Last week I realized that my vision had been realized. That what we were co-creating was working beautifully, in action, in real time — without my “expertise” needed.

If you’re struggling with figuring out how to structure your long form memoir my suggestion is to find writers who get what you’re trying to do.

If it’s creative nonfiction, start conversations with creative nonfiction writers.

They are going to have the BEST ideas and suggestions when it comes to solving problems and brainstorming possibilities for your work.

And in my experience, they are some of the most heart-led, supportive creatives you’ll ever get to know.

Thanks Jane for allowing me to share the process that unfolded in R/SL last week. I am SO excited to see where this new vision for your project takes you!