Don’t Believe a Word.

‘Cause you’re just liars, cheats, and crooks
You change the rules, and you burn the books
And so I don’t believe a single word you say

Songwriter: Brad Skistimas.

If you’re unfortunate enough to have Simeon Brown appear on your newsfeed lately, you’ll have seen him hopping around like a demented pixie, squealing that the end is nigh and that Labour will tax us into oblivion, despite the fact that they haven’t actually announced their tax policy.

Eight new taxes, the National Party’s propaganda reads. Then nine. How about ten? Do I hear eleven? Any tax they can think of, they attribute to Labour, presumably on the basis that if you throw enough manure, some of it will stick.

On the 4th of August, they complained about eight new taxes; by the 16th of August, that had risen to eleven new taxes, despite no policy announcements, no evidence, and it being wild speculation at best. One thing we can say for certain is that the Blue Party is not very good at using AI.

It doesn’t matter whether the policies belong to other parties; National simply says Labour will deliver all of them. Old taxes or new taxes, such as Ute taxes or Netflix taxes; they say Labour will do those even if there is no suggestion they plan to, and they may have simply taken part in a related conversation.

Here is the aforementioned Pixie; if you're concerned by what he has to say, don’t be; every word is a lie. Given that Simeon Brown presents himself as a dedicated Christian, he seems to have a remarkably casual attitude towards standing before the nation and telling the sort of porkies that deserve to be flash-fried by a lightning bolt.

It sounds terrible, doesn’t it, but never fear, it’s all complete bollocks. And this time Simeon is not merely lying but also being a hypocrite because on October 1st 2016 NZ introduced what was dubbed the “Netflix Tax”, requiring overseas suppliers of digital content to pay GST. That was a National Party government, by the way, Mr Brown.

I think corporations that make millions in NZ should pay tax on their profits, like any other business, but just because something is a good idea doesn’t mean you can claim that Labour will do it. In fact, Labour has ruled out introducing streaming and ute taxes if in power after November 7, so I’m not sure where Simeon is getting his facts from; maybe they showed up in a colonoscopy?

In addition to ruling out the imagined taxes that had Simeon running around like Chicken Little, squawking that the sky was about to fall, Hipkins also said that Simeon Brown was “getting more and more hysterical by the day”.

Hipkins continued, “If I was looking at internal polling numbers like the sort that he’s looking at, I’d be getting a bit worried about that as well. But that doesn’t mean that he can make up policy on behalf of the Labour Party.”

Labour have also ruled out TOP’s 1.75% land value tax, which would be political suicide for a major party, although doing so risks losing votes, as TOP’s support base must largely come from those who have had enough of the two major parties.

To be fair to TOP, they are at least proposing a progressive change, recognising the need for a fairer tax system if we’re to make the sort of improvements to this country we want to see. At some point, Labour will need to announce another source of revenue, because a CGT in a falling market will bring in essentially nothing for years. It’s a good long-term policy, but it won’t help with our immediate needs.

This morning, Hipkins appeared on TVNZ’s Breakfast show, and they began by discussing a second harbour crossing for Auckland, ignoring that we already have one out west, which is connected to the Motorways. Yesterday, National held a press conference, saying they’re going back to do a business case despite having spent $100m on consultants, and they’re going to consider the ridiculous option of building a bridge from Pt Chev to Chatswood.

Chippy said the announcement sounded familiar because he had made a similar one three years ago. In other words, there has been no progress other than a dumpster fire of taxpayers' money, leaving us pretty much where we were. “They’re basically re-announcing what I announced three years ago,” said Hipkins.

Chris Chang then moved on to the PM, noting that NZDF aircraft had been used to fly him home from a National Party fundraiser, another case of entitlement by Christopher Luxon, which is now largely forgotten, though apparently there was more to come. Chang said that this morning’s Herald carried a story listing six instances in which the PM had used military aircraft to attend a National Party fundraiser.

From the paywalled article:

Hipkins told the Herald yesterday that one flight “might be an error” but “six times is a habit”.

On Breakfast, Chippy said, “Christopher Luxon has been using the Air Force as his own personal air taxi service, and that’s not what it’s there for. Yes, government Ministers use Air Force planes in a state of emergency, in situations where they just can’t get where they need to be, and there’s an urgent need for them to be there. But the idea that Christopher Luxon is flying around the country to attend National Party fundraisers and the taxpayer is heavily subsidising that through the Air Force is almost impossible to justify.”

They moved to what Chang called the “100% united National Party” after the coup that wasn’t, and Chippy couldn’t help but laugh at the idea of them being united, saying, “It’s a total shambles on the other side of the house”.

Chippy said he was focused on the cost of living and rising unemployment, but National only seemed concerned about their own jobs.

They concluded with a series of yes/no questions.

• A referendum on MMP? Hipkins said ‘No’.

• Four-year terms? He was open to that.

• A referendum on the flag. ‘Nope’

• Cannabis. ‘Nope’

• Asset Sales. ‘Nope’

Hipkins is clearly focused on what matters rather than the sort of sideshows that have been the hallmark of this coalition. I do find it disappointing that Labour takes such a conservative stance on cannabis law reform; it seems so out of step. I mean, even the US, with its war on drugs, has more progressive laws.

As for Luxon’s idea of a referendum on MMP that looks dead in the water based on the latest 1 News poll:

Many of us are keen to hear what Labour will offer in terms of tax policy, but in the meantime I wouldn’t bother listening to Simeon Brown or any of his colleagues, who, in the absence of any achievements of their own to campaign on, are, as per usual, resorting to telling lies about what Labour will do.

I’ll leave it there for today. If you found this useful, were informed, or just had a laugh, please subscribe. My income is falling noticeably, so if you’re a regular reader, please don’t assume others will contribute. Click one of the buttons below to subscribe.

Gold Card discount.

Have a good Tuesday, folks; looks like a nice day after a cold start.

Ngā mihi,
Nick.

To end today, here are Five Times August with “Liars, Cheats, and Crooks”