Playground Chants From a Small, Exclusive STEM School in Texas

Editors note: One of our Texas-based stringers was, until recently, a folklorist-in-training. Her interest is in children’s play. After visiting a number of elementary-level schools in Central Texas to observe and gather data, our stringer abruptly quit her studies. Below is her resignation email to her academic advisor, on which she BCC’ed us. After working through some legal details, we are now able to share it with our readers.

Prof. Hollis:

I write to inform you, as my academic advisor, that I have abandoned my capstone project in folklore fieldwork. I am leaving the university tomorrow to begin work on a documentary film. I have attached a few of my unedited field notes below, which are sure to be of interest. I must insist on confidentiality. I'd love to get your reaction soon—perhaps on film? Let's stay in touch!

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[Begin Day 2 Notes]

Location: School #3, Central Texas

Date: June 4, 2025 (Day 2 of 5 at School #3)

Objectives: Record and film unsupervised, communal schoolyard games. Interview students and teachers.

This school is different. Elsewhere, I’ve only encountered well-established chants or songs. Most everywhere in Central Texas, Popeye continues to “live in a garbage can,” and it is far from settled whether the Joker “got away,” or “does ballet.” That’s not the case here, and I struggle to make sense of what I’m seeing and hearing.

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A take on a familiar jump rope song:

  I love coffee,
  I love tea,
  I love ketamine in my gra-vee!
  Yes
  No
  Maybe so (Repeat while steadily increasing the rope speed.)

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Another rope jumping variant. When the jumper trips, they must act out the word that had just been spoken—always with someone of the opposite sex. At the end of their encounter, the boy and girl both form a fist, thump their heart, fully extend their arm, and say, “Grow the legion!”

  My name is Roman,
  Your name is Greek,
  List five things you did this week!
  Wave
  Smile
  Hug
  Kiss
  Marry (Repeat . . .)

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Many playground chants, songs, or rhymes have no real point—they're just fun to perform. This has held true at School #3:

  Rockets up, rockets down,
  Rockets in smithereens on the ground!
  One has power, one does not,
  One is made of buggers and snot!

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I observed something akin to a game of tag, but with nuances that will take time to unpack. The game begins with the person who is “it” reciting these lines:

  Chainsaw, chainsaw
  How do you do?
  Mr. Musk is looking for you
  Gonna get our money back
  Give parasites a heart attack!

By now, everyone who is playing has formed a circle. The players recite these lines while the person who is “it” stands in the middle with their eyes closed:

  Medicare, Medicare, run, run, run
  Social Security, you’re no fun
  Here comes Obamacare wearin’ rainbow underwear
  There goes the GSA ridin’ in a Chevrolet
  I see USAID sittin’ on a hand grenade

Players get a running start as the “it” person counts down from 10. “It” then yells out “BOOM!” (an exploding grenade?), and the chase is on. “It” must run around, repeating the following, until they have tagged three people:

  Waste, fraud, abuse!
  Waste, fraud, abuse! (Repeat . . .)

Finally, the three tagged players are herded into a circle formed by the others, who take up the chant again. The chant goes on, increasing in volume and speed until everyone collapses in laughter (or one of the tagged players begins to cry).

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A variant of Mary Mack, the clapping song. The lyrics are sui generis. I'm prepared to say that, in the evolution of Mary Mack's many alternate versions, the one sung at School #3 has no place. It stands alone.

  Mr. Musk, Musk, Musk
  He took a bus, bus, bus
  To Washington, ton, ton
  And raised a fuss, fuss, fuss
  He helped the Prez, Prez, Prez
  Make lots cuts, cuts, cuts
  But now they hate, hate, hate
  Each other's guts, guts, guts
  They're on the phone, phone, phone
  They text away, way, way
  They know the worst, worst, worst
  Things you can say, say, say
  They yell about, bout, bout
  A big fat list, list, list
  By Jeffrey Ep, Ep, Ep
  About who got kissed, kissed, kissed
  Such politics, tics, tics
  He says he's through, through, through
  So, he came back, back, back
  Ms. Katie too, too, too
  And that is how, how, how
  Things can go wrong, wrong, wrong
  When you do ket, ket, ket
  From dusk til dawn, dawn, dawn

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[End Day 2 Notes]

Prepare for tomorrow: 1) Think of a non-leading way to ask the children if they have any songs about Bezos or Thiel. 2) Start tracing parentage and bloodlines of children. Teachers, too?