How a Spending "Ban" Set Me Free

Hey there,

First up, I wanted to mention that I imported all of my contacts to Substack from Flodesk without thinking which included everyone who subscribed to my Monthly Playlists. If you’re feeling confused about how you got here, that’s probably how.

I won’t be offended if you unsubscribe, but if you have some money secrets yourself, you’re more than welcome to stay. :)

On to the main event…

I’m normally a very everything-in-moderation type person. I think absolutes in general can lead to shame when you fall short, and I don’t like feeling deprived.

Super restrictive budgets aren’t really my thing. I’ve tried them in the past but they usually ended with me acting out and wildly overspending. I’ve employed values-based budgeting since then and this is what I recommend to my clients as well.

As I mentioned last week, I found that the way I managed my money for years didn’t make sense anymore now that I have inconsistent income. Additionally, after injuring myself last fall I found myself unable to work for a month as my part-time job is physical and in-person.

All of that is to say that how I handle my money is an ongoing experiment that is shifting with the changing circumstances around me.

So when I became introduced to the brilliant Cody Cook-Parrot and saw that they had implemented a spending ban for the end of the year, it got me thinking.

I didn’t think my spending was particularly out of control, but after some Black Friday purchases (mostly re-stocking toiletries, but we know how expensive that can be) and the continued uncertainty of my income, I was ready to put some guardrails in place.

I followed Cody’s lead and made a list of what was allowed, not allowed, what might need to be replaced and a section of things I had questions about. Essentially, things I desired that didn’t fall into the list of what was allowed that I could consider for the future. You can see a selection of my lists below.

As you can see, it’s not the strictest “ban” but it’s a lot more conservative than I would be if left to my own devices.

It’s only been a month and while I haven’t been perfect, I’ve stayed pretty close to this list.

Here are my biggest learnings so far:

✨ I was surprised to find that I almost instantly had a different reaction to the ads I got served on Instagram.

Even though I rarely succumb to making purchases, I do get curious and click through to see what various items cost. After implementing the ban, these ads no longer had to same pull of curiosity.

I found myself uninterested in them anymore once I knew the possibility of a purchase was completely off the table. It felt like it cleared up space in my brain and was a huge relief.

✨ I started planning more intentionally around meals and trips to the grocery store and started eating better.

I already ate out relatively rarely (I live in NYC and prices are insane), but I would occasionally order delivery if I was feeling particularly tired or sad. Once that was off the table, I got better at stocking up on my essential supplies.

When my homemade earl grey latte became one of the few treats I had access to, I started to feel even more aware when I was running low on my preferred honey or oat milk.

Additionally, after allowing way too many dairy exceptions over the holidays (I’m lactose intolerant) and indulging in frozen TJ’s snacks that never fail to bloat me, I also decided to reassess what I was putting in my body.

It’s crazy how my brain has decided that things that make me feel bad are a “treat” and I’m working to rewire that.

✨ I started feeling immense gratitude for what I already have and the generosity of others.

It’s way too easy in our capitalistic world to think that there is always something better out there. “Maybe I’ll finally be the type of person I want to be if I had that perfect pair of black jeans!” (This is a real thought I’ve had)

We all intellectually know that this is a scam, but taking most of that aspirational type of spending off the table made it even clearer.

I’ve found myself appreciating the clothes that I have, particularly the winter coats past me invested in on these 20 degree days.

As mentioned, a hot cup of tea prepared to my exact specifications feels more luxurious now than ever.

I’ve been enjoying getting back in my library bag (what an incredible service, like wow) and tbh now have more books on my Kindle than I can handle.

A friend also sent me some lip balm in a Christmas package and I was thrilled - one less thing I’ll have to replace soon!

I have my fair share of problems in life, but knowing that I have a stocked fridge and the items I need to care for my body is its own special form of abundance.

I don’t know how long my spending challenge will go on for, but I’m reveling in the lessons for now.

It’s been a helpful reminder of how little I need to live a good life.

What I’m consuming…

As a lifelong learner I’m always absorbing a ton of information, and thought it would be fun to share some of my recommendations here.

📺 Even though there are tons of great new tv shows I found myself rewatching 30 Rock for comfort and it is cracking me up on a daily basis.

📖 The Spender's Guide to Debt-Free Living: How a Spending Fast Helped Me Get from Broke to Badass in Record Time by Anna Newell Jones (A Cody recommendation!) It’s pretty straightforward but I love the emotional awakenings that the author has on the journey

🎧 Robyn - “Ever Again”, this came on shuffle on my way home on NYE and reminded me how much I freaking love this song

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