9 Selfish Reasons I Loved Breastfeeding

I’ve been out of the boob game for quite a long time now. I weaned my third (and last) baby about a year and a half ago, and it’s been honestly miserable ever since!!! My period came back with a vengeance I can only assume is full blown (yet self diagnosed) PMDD, I gained at least 10 pounds I can’t get rid of, and now when she has a tantrum I have nothing to whip out and distract her with.

I loved breastfeeding. I nursed my 3 kids for a combined 5.5 years (I think, at least, math is hard) and I’m very proud of that! When I was done, though, I was done.

The act actually made my skin crawl towards the end and I became incandescent with rage at times (which is how I knew it was time to wean and exit the nursing relationship gracefully!). Being an all-night buffet messed with my sleep at times, I got mastitis and clogged ducts, and it made getting dressed kind of a nightmare.

Yes, there were things about it that I absolutely loathed- the nipple twisters being tip top of that list. BUT there were so many great things about it too! So in honor of World Breastfeeding Week, for anyone I haven’t scared away yet, I decided to compile a list of things I LOVED about (extended) nursing my babies, completely ignoring any benefits for those babies.

1. It allowed me to be lazy guilt-free

   When I would set myself up on the couch for a nursing session and text my husband to bring me snacks and water I have never felt more powerful. Feeding a human from my BODY while my husband worshipped me (he was scared) was a high I’ll be chasing for the rest of my life, let me tell ya! I got to sit/ lay down, watch shows, eat pastries and read, all in the name of STILL being productive by literally keeping someone alive. You couldn’t tell me nothin!

2. I got out of social events

   I’m not super proud of this one but I’ll admit it to you, my internet friends. I am a bit of an anxious person when it comes to social things. It was SO nice to have a way to dip out of something early or simply not show up because “oopsie the baby needs to eat and she doesn’t take a bottle, damn it!” It was also such a nice way to get a break during things like family holiday gatherings because I could just escape into another room for 2 hours to scroll my phone and no one dared to ask me why I was gone for so long.

4. I reduced my cancer risk

   Did you know that breastfeeding reduces the risk of breast cancer by 4.3% for every 12 months a woman breastfeeds. This reduction is cumulative, meaning the 12-month total can be reached with one child or across multiple pregnancies. As someone with a gene mutation that makes my personal lifetime risk of breast cancer go up to about 30%, this was HUGE for me!

5. I lost weight

   This one is extremely vain and maybe even problematic? To be fair, I did state explicitly in the title that this list is very selfish. Everyone is so different when it comes to breastfeeding, but I was one of those people who really does lose (or at least maintain) weight. I loved being able to eat whatever I wanted and however much I wanted of it. Since weaning completely, there is weight on places that I didn’t even know you could gain weight on, and it will not come off! Of course I’m grateful for my healthy body and I love myself at every size etc etc etc but it was really nice to not have a mental breakdown every time I had to put on jeans.

6. I had a hack for every tantrum

   This was a biggie! How else are people calming their kids down on an airplane when they’re overtired and their ears hurt and the ipad died? Or when they fall and scrape their knee? Honestly asking!

7. I’m asleep within minutes

   I breastfed my kids to sleep for most naps and at bedtime because there was no quicker or more surefire way to get them to knock out. It made it so easy to get them down for a nap, whether we were home or out and about. If they woke up in the middle of the night (usually right beside me in the bed) they’d sometimes latch without me EVEN WAKING UP (I know from our baby monitor footage). This was great and there’s even research about how breastfeeding cosleeping moms bank the most sleep of any other group! (This all being said, eventually night weaning did lead to my kids finally sleeping through the night, so ya know roses and thorns).

8. I’m lazy

   I’ve already mentioned I’m lazy. I did pump for my first baby for his daycare bottles, and because I was kind of weird about feeding in public. With my second two I couldn’t have given fewer fucks about that and I was WFH! With them I LOVED exclusively breastfeeding because I never worried about washing the little bottles and the 100 million parts and the sound of my pump was no longer haunting my dreams.

9. I love TV

   While nursing, especially during the 4th trimester, I got to watch SO much TV. Technically you can do this regardless of how you’re feeding your baby, but since I breastfed and was the only one who could do it, it gave me the excuse to have my husband do literally everything else while I “fed the baby” and watched 7 hours of Grey’s Anatomy in a single day.

I’m sure there are more reasons I’ll think of later (already did, the SOUND of a newborn nursing is the cutest thing ever omg), but these feel top of mind as the things I miss the most about having a little nursling. Breastfeeding is amazing for so many reasons-we know the benefits for babies, blah blah blah but can’t we just do something because WE want to and it makes OUR lives easier sometimes too?

I know sometimes this argument is weaponized against us on the insufferable worldwide web (mostly comments from boomer men about how it’s “sick” to breastfeed a toddler who can walk up to you and ask for it and how we’re just “doing it for ourselves”) but you know what? I say we take it back. I say we own it and tell them “YEAH TOM I’m doing it for me, because have you ever had the superpower of making someone go unconscious with your nipples?” See what he has to say to that.

Up Next (if you loved this one!):

The 3-Month Nap Crash Out

Why I Changed My Mind About Sleep Training

My Kids Didn’t Get the Same Version of Me, and That’s Okay!

Things that Would Send First-Time-Mom-me into a Coma (Sleep Edition)