Not Okay But Still Trying

If you’re reading this, maybe you’re tired. Maybe you’re in the middle of your own chaos-tabs open, deadlines looming, everything urgent, nothing easy. Maybe you’re wondering if anyone else is holding it together by a thread or maybe you are just the issue. I see you.

Let me take you inside my real life, not the highlight reel but as a living, breathing, sometimes-messy reality.

A few months ago, I found myself standing in an airport, suitcase in one hand, phone in the other, juggling three businesses while moving through six countries in just three months. I wish I could say it was all adventure and excitement, but the truth is, only one of those trips was for pleasure.

The rest? Brand deals that needed my face, launches that wouldn’t wait, investor calls that spanned time zones, and team meetings squeezed into hotel lobbies and airport lounges.

I used to imagine that working on the move would feel glamorous.

But most days, it’s just me, tired, staring at a screen, wondering if I’m doing any of this right. My body aches from travel, my mind is cluttered with open tabs, and yet, every morning, I wake up and choose to keep going-not because it’s easy, but because I believe in what I’m building.

Let me take you behind the scenes.

A while back, my planner business was thriving. We were making $15K+ a month, and it felt like I’d finally cracked the code, especially because it was just passive income. so I wasn’t paying so much attention to it like my other full time revenue streams. My Pinterest was amassing 200,000+ visitors every month. I had a verified merchant badge, and everything seemed to be humming along.

Then life happened. I missed a single tag on the website-just one tiny detail lost in a sea of deadlines and distractions. I stopped posting regularly on Pinterest due to other commitments. Suddenly, traffic dropped to 50,000 then to 10,000 then to 3,000. The badge disappeared. I felt like I’d let everything slip through my fingers.

That was a hard pill to swallow. For weeks, I blamed myself.

But eventually, I realized I had a choice: give up, or start again. So I decided not to do it alone anymore. I hired a new web development team and a Pinterest optimization team. We’re rebuilding everything from the ground up. This time, it’s not something I squeeze in after hours. It’s now part of my main focus, and I’m learning to give it the attention it deserves.

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At the same time, I was pouring my heart into a SaaS project. In 2023, it crashed and burned before it even got out. I trusted the wrong people, wasted months and money, and ended up feeling completely defeated. I remember sitting on the floor of a hotel room, crying, wondering if I was cut out for any of this. But I couldn’t let it go.

So I started over, this time with people I trust, and a little more wisdom than before. All while consulting, traveling, and trying to keep my life from unraveling.

Here’s what my days look like now:

Most days, I work for four to six hours. Fridays, I try to keep it to two or three. My workouts have shrunk to just a couple times a week, and I miss the old routine, but right now, I’m learning that showing up, even imperfectly, is enough.

I’ve learned to batch my content, to say no when I need to, and to trust my team with the things I used to hoard out of habit. My brand team is helping me reimagine how everything looks and feels. Contractors handle the fulfillment. Admin support shields me from the noise. I’m building systems so things don’t fall apart when I’m not at my best.

There’s no secret formula here. Some days I feel strong, others I feel like I’m barely holding it together. But I’m learning to accept that this is what real growth looks like-messy, unpredictable, and sometimes lonely.

So why am I sharing this?

Because I know what it feels like to scroll through endless posts about effortless success and wonder if you’re the only one struggling. If you’re building something quietly, if you’re tired, if you feel like you’re always behind-please know you’re not alone. The stories we’re told about business don’t always match the reality. And that’s okay.

Right now, I’m working towards $100K months-not by sacrificing my health or working around the clock, but by figuring out what really matters, letting go of what doesn’t, and protecting my energy for the things that move me forward.

If you’re craving something real, stick around. In my next post, I’ll show you how I plan my weeks-how I fit personal, domestic, and business tasks into one system that actually works for my life.

This just my story, as honest as I can tell it. And if you see yourself in any of these words, I hope you find a little comfort here.

So, what are you carrying right now? I’d love to hear about it.