What Are You Pretending Not To Know?

I had to decide which cupcake to eat that day. The one that said “Deal with it now.” Or the one that said “I’ll tackle this later.”

The “Now” cupcake was the healthy one, full of raisins, dates, carrots, walnuts, and absolutely no icing. The “Later” cupcake was chocolate with a giant mound of whipped cream and a cherry.

I knew what I should do.

And then I picked up the chocolate cupcake and stuffed it in my mouth in one bite.

I felt guilty immediately. Like I’d chosen filet mignon for dinner when I knew the frog was still waiting on my plate.

Every leader carries a froggy problem wrapped in strategic-sounding language: “That’s not the hill I’m going to die on.” “The timing isn’t right.” “I’ve picked my battles.” “This will resolve itself.” I’m wondering what yours is.

Here’s the skinny: the brain does this on purpose. Avoidance isn’t weakness. It’s a sophisticated system that protects you from cost. The problem is it runs quietly in the background, and every decision to sidestep a gnarly problem adds weight. Enough chocolate cupcake phrases and you’re waddling around on Zoom with a hundred invisible bags under your eyes.

Lazy Larry’s performance review keeps getting bumped. The board call about slipping projections feels like tomorrow’s problem. Your VP’s pet project which is completely unsustainable, the one you’ve privately buried three times, is somehow still alive.

Unless you’re Ben Horowitz, whose entire book (“The Hard Thing About Hard Things”) is basically a masterclass in eating the frog, your to-do list often doesn’t lead with the hard thing. It leads with the manageable thing. The one that won’t look at you funny afterward.

The question isn’t whether you’re pretending the problem isn’t a problem. You probably are and it is. The question is whether what you’re protecting is still worth protecting.

Because Lazy Larry is driving everyone nuts. Slack is blowing up about what he didn’t do. Your board members are tapping their toes. Their reputations are tied to your decisions. And your VP has a LinkedIn profile that’s suddenly looking very fresh.

The next time you hear yourself say “I’m not dealing with this today,” pause. Just for a second. Ask yourself whether that’s the right strategy or whether that’s the chocolate cupcake talking.

Raisin bran has its moments.

If you’re challenged by the choices, let’s talk. Join me at www.kathygledhill.com.