Additional Issues with the Traditional Approach to Values

I’ve written before that the values that you think are your personal core values probably aren’t. And I said it’s not your fault because traditional approaches to values identification typically aren’t that effective. (Re)read Post 1 and Post 2 on this topic.

Now let’s turn our attention to some of the additional problems that arise within our inner drive, when we take the traditional approach to values.

Aspirational values are something the person wishes were true about them. To be fair, perhaps on occasion the person does exemplify the value. But day in and day out, it’s not yet the consistent case.

People don’t necessarily realize they’ve selected a value that’s aspirational. Often, they think about what they are like on their very best day, and they desire to be like that more often. They vision a future where they are that person. What it would mean for them. What it would feel like. They’re just not there yet with their behavior consistently. (Or maybe they never will be.)

While it is arguably a good thing to aspire to better behavior than we often exhibit, when there is too big a gulf between the actual and the aspirational then it results in an inner tension that isn’t useful.

A close cousin of aspirational values are positivity-washed values. These are values that sound good but are actually used as a cover for problematic behavior.

For example, someone says they have a value of authenticity, but use it to justify their impulsive, unfiltered, and raw behavior. Similarly, someone with a value of honesty might use it to excuse their delivery of blunt, harsh, no-sugar-coating feedback.

We’ve already talked about collective values. What I’ll add here is that in order to be accepted within a group an individual may say they have the same values as the group’s collective values, even when they don’t. They use the values as a signal that they are worthy of “membership” in the group. This happens frequently with job seekers or employees who must speak to how they are aligned with a company’s values. If they are unable to do so, it is a signal to the employer that the person might not be a good fit.

Relatedly, values as signals can be defensive in nature. I have to say I believe in something specific because otherwise I’ll be criticized, attacked, or open myself up to something negative.

Additionally, any people choose to announce their values as part of their role of influence (e.g., VP of Marketing) and to signal that they are a person of integrity and depth. In this case, some values are more useful than others for conveying the desired image – depending on who you are signaling to. For example, an attorney would likely choose to announce different values than a startup founder in climate tech. The tone conveyed through their respective signals would be calibrated accordingly.

When values are used as signals, it’s not necessarily true that the individual is being disingenuous by choosing them. But the primary reason the value is chosen is to convey an image, rather than the value being the person’s true inner guidance for how they operate.

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Shadow values are qualities that are seemingly positive but actually mask a fear, discomfort, or are avoiding something. For example, suppose you have a value around “attention to detail”. It’s important to ask yourself if it is a value because you LOVE details and precision or because you have perfectionist tendencies, a fear of criticism, and want to avoid “not measuring up”.

In the traditional approach to values identification, lots of shadow values make it onto people’s lists.

Another issue with traditional values identification is that it often results in people selecting behavior-guiding qualities that describe how they themselves want to be treated, so they know that they must reciprocally offer that to others. This isn’t inherently bad, but if it has a “transaction-focused” energy signature, it can be subtly draining instead of energizing.

In the MOTIVATED AF book, I offer an alternative approach to values. And it is based on the concept of a personal credo. A credo is a statement of beliefs or a system of principles that guide decisions and actions.

One of the main components of your inner drive is your personal credo, which can be broken into three parts.

We categorize “things that you value” as major priorities. Collective values and contextual values are rearticulated and personalized to you as your operating principles. And your personal core values will be identified only after you’ve identified the first two aspects of the credo, and after taking into account the universal human needs.

Katherine ✨

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