Top Eight Things I Learned Teaching 2 and 3 Year Olds.

The Favor: I need some questions for The Washington Post. I never use anyone’s name, and you can send them directly to me or to the Washington Post! The questions can be about anything related to parenting. Seriously.

I (gratefully) started working in a nursery school this year, (teaching? being with? playing with?) me and the 2.5 year olds.

Why? Oh, who knows. I never think things out fully…I just decided one day that it was time to do something else. I was lonely at home. I was burned out of running my own business. I wanted regular income. I wanted co-workers. I wanted to be with the messiness and beauty of little kids. And because I have ADHD, so there is always the next thing to do. So, I did.

Was I ready? HELLLLL NOOOOOO. But I was ready to work and learn. And what did I learn?

1. Working with kids was easy (ish), working with other adults is hard.

   It wasn’t the other adults that were the problem, it was me. I have been alone for so long that I have had to relearn some communication skills, and at 50? Well, that is something indeed. But unlike my first go-around with teaching over 25 years ago, I have learned how to stay in my own lane. And let me tell you, staying in your own lane is one of the most powerful moves one can make in the workplace, and in life.

2. Kids are (a little) different now.

   I mean, not really, we are still the same caveman that we have always been, but after spending this year with 18 month olds to almost five year olds, I can see, with my own eyes, some subtle differences. There are more struggles with hearing the word “no,” there are so many packaged foods that kids aren’t learning how to use a fork and spoon the way they used to, and the way a two year old can move around in a phone is pretty impressive. I know that similar changes occurred in my children compared to previous generations, but it is fascinating to see with my own eyes. It also explains some of what I have seen in my coaching (more on that in another post).

3. Kids are the way they’ve always been.

   Funny, creative, smart, emotional, deeply attached to their caregivers, attached to us, sassy, frustrated, angry, possessive, tired, crabby, hungry and oh yes! Always sick. They. Are. Always. Sick. And they love LOVE. They really love to be loved.

4. I needed them more than they needed me.

   Their little hugs and smiles, the way they lit up when I read books, the way they started to get my jokes, and even the tantrums and exploding diapers…all of it filled my soul in a way I deeply needed. Two year old’s can be hard, but they are clear. What you see is mostly what you get and, in a world that feels increasingly chaotic, the predictability and innocence of a young child was like a balm for my weary soul.

5. (I FINALLY learned that) Burnout is real.

   At 50, with a new ADHD diagnosis (a whole ‘nother post) and medical shenanigans galore, I learned what ADHD burnout really is (see image that the bottom). Gone were the days where I could get it all done. Between teaching, a melanoma diagnosis, deciding to remove my breasts, coaching clients, getting my middle child into college, watching my eldest graduate from college, sick animals at home, aging parents (on both sides), etc., welp, I found my boundaries. I am not complaining, I know that my life isn’t much different from yours. And I also know that I am fortunate to have good friends and family, as well as the safety of health insurance, a good home, etc. AND burnout is real. I am grateful to have hit a rock bottom this year. I have finally learned what I can do, and what I cannot.

6. I am so grateful that I am not drinking.

   I cannot imagine how I would have coped with little kids, as well as everything the past nine months have brought me if I were still drinking alcohol. Even though I was stressed, I could manage. How could I have been with children all day and then attended a hundred different medical appointments? Thank God, thank god, thank god. Sobriety is not easy, but it’s much easier than drinking.

7. I still love the tough kids.

   When I was teaching 6th, 8th, and high school boys, I always gravitated toward the kids who were a little spicy. A little tough. A little rough around the edges. And yup, I still like the spicy kids. I like the kids who need more attention, more support, and more love. And I love this about me.

8. It was still really hard; I have been humbled.

   Oh, I have my degrees and certifications, and I am a great coach. I raised some great kids, but wooo boy. Teaching little kids has put me in my place. Parents of little kids have it rough today. Between their work schedules, the political climate, screens, screens, screens, screens, and the pressures of how to raise children today? Ugh. I have nothing but empathy for parents today. And putting in the hard work of teaching little kids has given me more perspective than any academia ever could.

Here’s the burnout cycle. Turns out I have been in this cycle my whole life. 🙄