showing up matters

Time and time again, I am reminded of the importance of consistency. Doing an activity once a week might sound easy at first but once the weeks roll by to the third, fourth and fifth, a simple task or activity seems much harder than when you committed from the beginning.

I recently got back to a volunteer program at a local elementary school in Austin and a note they had for the kids was: consistency and showing up are what matters most This wasn’t targeted towards us as the adult mentors but it hits me more than I expected. As my schedule has been tighter, demands to complete tasks/assignments/work started piling on top of each other.

Historically, I have always had to work extra to balance a busy schedule and conflicting requirements. I thrived best when I work on fewer big goals or projects at once. I enjoy time spent by myself to recharge and reflect whether through physical movements or journaling. When I am asked to show up to five, six things at once, things get overwhelmed fast.

This time, I mentally prepared myself before embarking on this new schedule and knowledge that I will be very occupied for an extended period of time. Nevertheless, when the time rolls around, and I had to show up for a French class after what seemed like the longest day, I didn’t want to do it. I have been running back and forth for eight hours - in class, driving, responding to people, making sure my work at school and work is decent. What do you mean now I have to show up for something that is not required? French class was a fun and curious activity I signed up for when my schedule was wide open. I also love learning a new language and its culture. With more things weighing in importance, it is most tempting to let something go.

The beauty of being with a good partner is they become the voice of reason when you couldn’t seem to track it down. My wonderful husband nudged me in the right direction when all I wanted is to let go. I wanted to be off that evening and take a break to decompress. I was overwhelmed with deadlines and tasks and having to constantly be present. I guess I needed someone to state the obvious. He reminded me that I would be sitting around and feeling tired anyway. I would probably feel bad that I didn’t show up for class in the end.

I made it to class and was glad that I did. My brain was fried thirty minutes in but I learned much more French than if I never participated that day. Progress over perfection is trite but it is trite because it is true. Practicing these sayings in life is the moment when you see their values.

Consistency is spreading the intensity of mastery over months and years. It might feel discouraging when you showed up some times and it didn’t seem like progress was made. This is how I see it: every day you show up, you give yourself a reminder that you are not giving up but are trying to make it work. The act of trying does something to our brain that keeps us moving forward. Momentum is created from consistency and momentum is the leap that gets us to where we want to be.

Showing up is not bound to work or productivity either. It is crucial in a relationship. The act of showing up is not something that can ever be substituted. Being present for a loved one is one of the most valuable things you can do. It has an outsized impact on your relationship. This is something I observe over the years: what my friends and family did for me, what I did, and what I fell short of. Everyone makes mistakes or have time passed and realized they should have been present when they weren’t. For instance, even when you don’t bring a present to someone’s birthday party, most of the times you being there is more than anything else. I can say this because I have been a bad friend in the past of not being there. Showing up builds trust and reliability and over time lays down the bricks to build the foundation of a relationship.

Consistency is a practice that I want to keep honing and getting better at. Without it, we have nothing stable and of substance - no good relationships, no expertise, deep interests, or knowledge. Something to keep whispering to myself, especially when things get hard.

Thank you for reading the Life with MD publication. I hope you enjoy this week’s essay. Let me know what you think in the comment section.

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