On Maternity Dressing.

Pregnancy gave me a sudden and previously unknown sense of liberation and confidence in my body that dramatically changed how I approached dressing. It annihilated long-held boundaries and broke nearly every one of my “rules” about what I should and shouldn’t wear. I have always dressed to obscure my midsection and upper arms, if I can help it. I have always hated the way that I look in any kind of jersey knit or bias cut. I didn’t dare wear most coordinated sets because they often highlighted everything that I hated about my body.

I remember all of the middle-aged women that I used to dress in my many, many boutique jobs of the past; women who, with great vulnerability, would share their dogmatically held laundry lists of restrictions built around their “problem zones.” All or any combination of baring their midsection, knees, ankles, elbows, arms, neck, cleavage, etc., were off-limits. It never mattered what you said, or what reassurance you offered. It was fact. Now I am the one mentally scanning the racks for approved items that will meet my own requirements, flustered by offers of help because where do I begin?

But with the new paradigm of pregnancy, suddenly it was opposite day: the more body-con, the more belly, the better. I joked with a close friend that I had never dressed sluttier in my life. I could buy things without trying them on, and with total confidence. I gave myself no restrictions on where I was allowed to shop—from fast fashion to cult brands to thrift stores. Within the confines of pregnancy’s finite duration, I finally became the capsule wardrobe person I’d always aspired to be.

Something else kind of interesting happened: while I carried that precious cargo inside, I went from a place of self-loathing to self-love. On the other side, I would say I am now in a place that I will call self-neutrality—because between postpartum and perimenopause, I often feel like I am just a passenger in my body, noticing more than dictating. But during that absolutely miraculous and yet entirely commonplace moment of being with child, you get a rare opportunity to occupy a wildly different version of yourself. It’s a chimera and a catalyst.

As I have always done in every strange and wonderful pocket of my life, I sought refuge in (1) non-fiction literature and (2) my clothing. Reading and shopping are my favorite ways to prepare for almost anything.

A few questions that I asked myself when I approached dressing while pregnant were:

1. Would I be willing to wear this thing over and over for the next several months (and through the seasons)?

2. Can it be adapted or grow with me as my baby and my body do?

3. Will it play nice with the rest of my available wardrobe?

There is a bit of a sea change happening in maternity dressing right now—suddenly there is more at work than just polite discretion and blending in. Pregnant people are no longer allowing themselves to be relegated to maternity brands or the anemic racks of maternity departments that give no credence to personal style. The antiquated roots of an America that thought to censor the word “pregnant” from television because it was considered obscene are finally loosening their grip on the collective subconscious.

Because when it comes to dressing whilst knocked up, there is not only nothing to hide, there is no reason to. We have entered a pro-tummy-in-the-sun moment, and from this place, as a pregnant person, the world really can become your oyster. You can wear standard waistbands at the base of your tum, or crop tops just above it. Straight-sized shirts, blazers, and cardigans can simply be unbuttoned as your growth requires. And you certainly do not have to bare your belly—there are also plenty of more modest options available that embody style in a way that still feels fresh and relevant. So perhaps we can finally let ourselves have a little more fun with this entirely wild season of life.

My tips for building your maternity capsule wardrobe:

• Think of it like packing a bag for a two week trip—one where you will still do all of the things you do in your normal life. You will need things to work in, play in, and lounge in that talk with each other and can easily multitask.

• Bonus round: find items that will also work in the postpartum period when your body still feels like an absolute stranger.

• Dare to dream: items that can work for nursing too.

Below are some ideas to get you started on building your own maternity wardrobe, one that can transcend matrescence. As a reminder, I may earn commissions on these links—that’s how this newsletter is possible! If you like this work, please shop through these so I can sustain this work :)

*un petite rant: I really appreciate that these dresses are genuine silk/not even a blend. The volume of polyester/nylon/acrylic/viscose dresses on the market right now at this price point makes my head spin. I know that silk is not vegan and may not be for everyone because it requires more care, my issue is that petroleum based alternatives should not cost the same as the real thing. A gentle reminder to check the fiber content before you purchase anything.

This is a rich topic that I expect to revisit in the future, so consider this round up the first of many installments :)

Until soon my milky friends, xoMiranda

The Milky Time Baby Registry Guide

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Jun 23

I struggled to decide where to begin for the first real post of Milky Time before I landed at the daunting behemoth that is the Baby Registry. In hindsight, it was probably not the best idea because I had no idea how long it would take me (I have been working on this post for literal weeks now, already deviating from my post frequency right out the gate…