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Sexyverse Advice · Aug 15, 2026

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Mikey Clarke · Sexyverse Advice

Cross-breeding Mike Tyson with Ron Jeremy, monetising concussions, and flaying Ayn Rand fans: today's TERRIBLE advice

Reviews page: 1 · 2 · 3 · 4 · 5 · 6 · 7

People say such wonderful things!

Great gracious gumdrops. Check out this rad feedback:

“Wow that's some of the most hilarious and funniest, wildest shit I ever read! Thank you! That's absolutely fucking brilliant! Like the Mike Tyson/Ron Jeremy mash up!? Genius!” 🔗Raven Silk Author

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“If you are looking for a good laugh, you have to check out Mikey Clark’s work! 😂 This line absolutely got me. The image is so absurd that you can't help but laugh, and that's what makes it stick. You will love how Mikey takes an everyday office question and escalated it into complete, unapologetic chaos. Epic stuff here… you should give it a read…. 😂” 🔗Maria Grace

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“Your writing is seriously entertaining! It’s like a breath of hilarious air. Thanks so much for keeping my feed funny. Yours is one of few posts I read where I actually laugh out loud 🩵” 🔗Stephanie Macisco

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“Hoooollllyyyy shit Mikey! The transition from "your husband might be keeping secrets" to "maybe she's running a wedding-vow-renewal side hustle at the South Pole" was so fucking wild that by the end I was fully invested in the horse conspiracy. 😂😂😂😂😂😂” 🔗Spinelli

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“What makes this funny is that beneath all the ridiculousness, there's a grain of truth hiding in there. Not about sleeping with your boyfriend's father, obviously, but about how often people justify behavior by appealing to someone else's ego, blind spots, or assumptions.” 🔗Genovie | Grown From Scratch

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“There is a radical sovereignty in embracing this kind of creative chaos. While the rest of the world is looking for sanitized, "perfect" advice, you are documenting the anatomy of a "fabulous" sort of madness.” 🔗Polar Funk

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“This was such a unique idea ahahahha I never read something like this Coooool” 🔗TheARTofheART

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“You're fucking hilarious.” 🔗Pep WritesShortShorts

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“I was not prepared for where this was going. 😂 The "intermediate asshole of daring and vigorous ambition" absolutely sent me.” 🔗Shivani

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“I loved your humour! I wish you a wonderful day!” 🔗Nick Hills

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“Lol... I saved this, just took my time to read it now... smh.... terrible, terrible advice. Lol. Who even asks you questions?!” 🔗The Perception Journal

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“Do you just have endless shit in your head to write about? Asking for a friend 🤔😆🔥” 🔗Ginger Harper

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“As always you have me giggling🤣🤣🤣.....but what stood out to me is how humor can sometimes expose social absurdities more effectively than serious arguments. ” 🔗Maria Grace

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“I laughed at the answer, but what really got me was the reference list. You start with Shaft, slide into Luther Vandross, and then casually throw in Mr. Blobby as if they're all members of the same Funk Hall of Fame. That completely unexpected detour is what made the joke for me. Brilliant bit of absurd comedy.” 🔗Lyrics and Fire

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“This was so epic! I loved this line: "The love and affection that you and your ex(?)-beloved together share shrieks with such volcanic passionate ecstasy that your mental and emotional powers over your body have increased a hundredfold." Your writing had me giggling! Awesome job!” 🔗Maria Grace

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“I can always trust Mikey to swoop in with solid advice. Truly the King Solomon of our time” 🔗Joe

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“You make me laugh and I can think of a few times I could have used a bra like that” 🔗🐝 Buzzy Johnson

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“You are so funny man 😆 LOVE your post!” 🔗Ginger Harper

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“See this is what I love. Monsieur Taniwha didn’t need to exist. And yet here we are, better for it. This is what happens when someone actually thinks before dispensing advice — you get a full geopolitical and sexual history of a fictional New Zealander before arriving, somehow perfectly, at the point. Unhinged. Thorough. Oddly moving. I’d like “seconds” of this kind of chaos please ❤️” 🔗By Your Own Measure

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“🤣 that’s too good” 🔗Ksenia S.

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Reviews page: 1 · 2 · 3 · 4 · 5 · 6 · 7

Crave subsequent Bullshit? Subscribe! TERRIBLE ADVICE of astounding freshness shall grace your inbox weekly, illustrious and resplendent and free-as-in-beer. Become a Cool Cat.

And then! Like! Comment! Restack! Shove this post before even more proto-Cool-Cats. Make there be More Of Us. The world’s killjoys won’t know what hit ‘em. It’ll be tremendous. You won’t regret it, hawt stuff. And it’ll make all existing Sexyverse Advice Cool Cats, and/or me, incredibly happy. You put yummy in all our tummies, you know that?

Read the original on mikeyclarke.substack.com

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