Why We Work (in a group home)

Every other weekend during the school year, my husband and I pack up our things, load our kids into the car, and drive down the road to what is nationally ranked one of the best boarding schools for at-risk youth in the country. We spend the weekend with a group of about 12 teenagers, cooking their meals, making sure they do their chores, and helping with homework - all while parenting our own two littles.

We are what is called “relief” houseparents - meaning, we give the other houseparents - the ones who are with the kids all week- a much needed rest. I like to say were are the cool aunt and uncle who come in and have all the fun! Hint: If you want to win a teenager’s affections, show up with fresh baked goods.

The students at the school where we work are all considered at-risk. This means that in addition to their families living below the federal poverty guidelines, they have all experienced at least one trauma. The average student at the school has experienced 3 traumatic events in their lifetime, and so living with the kids is not without its challenges and burdens. These children’s stories will simultaneously shatter your heart and have you marveling at their incredible resilience. Those are stories for another day.

When my husband and I first told our friends and families we were thinking about accepting this role, we naturally got a lot of questions and opinions.

“Why would you WANT to do that?”

“Are they at least paying you well?”

“That seems like a LOT of responsibility.”

“You’re going to have to give up so much free time!”

Here’s the long and short of it:

About a year ago, when we were coming out of the new-baby haze and starting to find our footing as a family of 4, I looked at my husband and said “I am starting to think about what I want us to teach our girls as a family, through how we live our lives. Not just teach them, but really show them.” What followed was a long conversation about living out our values and the bottom line was this - We want to teach our girls to love others even when it’s hard. Following Christ’s example, we desire to show them through our own actions how to serve others.

And so when the opportunity came up for us to serve part-time at the boarding school- and to do it all together as a family - it just felt right. We went into this role knowing it would not be a forever thing, but it is our reality right now. I can’t help but feel like my girls are receiving a huge gift by practicing love in action when they help prepare a huge meal for a house full of kids, or even just by having 12 “big kids” to look up to and learn from (and teach them how to skateboard).

Do we love perfectly? By no means. But we sure do have a lot of opportunity to practice, and what a joy that is.