For Grandma

There are a lot of different things I could tell you about my grandmother. Trying to piece together the bits of her life before I was born is like trying to fit together a mosaic - She lived a bright and colorful life, full of many different pieces. After all, she lived about ⅔ of it before I was even born!

I know that she was incredibly smart, being one of only two math majors in her graduating class at bucknell university, and she went on to be a fierce advocate for education for women. I know that she was incredibly creative, spending her free time painting, crocheting, and singing. I know she was deeply devoted to her faith and valued service, volunteering at various community events including church fundraisers and the Montgomery County Fair. She was even dear friends with the sweet woman who came to clean her house. And at one point, when I learned that not only was she smart and kind AND creative but she was ALSO athletic - playing on the women’s softball team at Bucknell- I distinctly remember thinking to myself “my gosh, is there anything this woman CAN’T DO?!?!?!”

Because I really only knew bits and pieces about her life before I entered it, what I really want to talk about today is the relationship I had with my grandmother and who she was to me. Her obituary stated that to know her was to love her, and that is so true. I distinctly remember every friend I have ever brought home from college saying something to me about how sweet and lovely my grandmother was. Just the other day, my husband said matter of factly “She was the most genuine, caring person I have ever met.” She was a woman who loved well. And she loved others not in a loud, flashy type of way but in an often gentle and steadfast way.

In reflecting on this, I came up with a list of ways in which my grandmother showed me her love. This list is in no particular order and is a non-exhaustive list because I know as soon as I sit down I will think of a handful of other ways she loved us well. But without further delay, here is a list of ways my grandmother loved me:

• Driving up from Maryland for every important school event, recital, or play.

• Taking us on trips into the DC museums, vacations to the beach, and being a consistent part of holiday celebrations, and in particular driving up from Maryland with a CARLOAD of Christmas presents every. single. Year.

• Encouraging me in my studies and taking an interest in what I was learning, asking thoughtful questions about whatever classes I happened to be taking at the time.

• Saying “how are you doing” and taking the time to listen, or saying “I will pray for you” and really meaning it.

• Knowing when not to say anything at all, but just lend a listening ear

• Always greeting me with a big hug and kiss on the cheek

• Patiently welcoming my brother and I into her home and not complaining or scolding us when we decided to use her staircase as a make-shift slide.

• Taking long walks with us through her wooded neighborhood

• Saying “you need to put some meat on those bones” and then offering to make me a meal

• Ordering dessert “to share” but then pushing the plate to me after she’d had only one bite, just because she knew I’d enjoy it (or maybe it was all part of her plan to put some meat on my bones)

• Knitting and Crocheting me and my family new blankets, sweaters, gloves, and hats to stay warm in the winter each year. They will certainly be keepsakes to cherish.

• Sending me hand written cards in the mail, just because she was thinking of me

• A mysterious check appearing at just the right time, with just the right amount for what we might have needed at the time, (like a car repair, or help with the cost of daycare) even though we never asked

• Rocking my newborn babies while singing them lullabies

• Figuring out how to utilize technology to stay in touch with us, sending us emoji faces along with texts that said “thinking of you” and watching quietly on facetime as my children zoomed the camera around the room (enough to make anyone feel dizzy!)

• Quietly but contently watching my kids run around and play pretend, and turning to me with a smile on her face saying “they’re so busy! I’m exhausted just watching them” (for the record, I’m exhausted too, grandma!)

• More recently, driving my 5 year old daughter around on her electric scooter for seemingly endless rides.

Growing up, I think I might have taken for granted my grandparents’ consistent presence in my life. I remember one birthday, we were headed somewhere special and my mom said we were going to meet some people there but it was all a surprise. I said to my mom “I know it’s going to be grandma and grandpa, because they ALWAYS come to these types of things” - as if that were a bad thing. It turns out I was right, by the way, they were the special people we were meeting. But now that I am older, I understand how truly special it is that they were a consistent support in my life, and I am so grateful.

Not only did she let me come live with her one summer while I was in college, but she also took the time to get to know my boyfriend (now, husband) who happened to live 10 minutes down the road from her (small world). That summer, I was tasked with helping my grandma clear out her house to get ready for her move. I will cherish the memories of the three of us watching The Nationals play baseball on TV,, shouting at the screen, and of my grandma looking me in the eyes and saying “He’s a good one” after he helped clear out her most recent load of knick-knacks from the basement. We even got her to try burrito bowls at Chipotle for the very first time that summer.

My grandmother was incredibly supportive of my grandfather’s scientific pursuits. She was always the encourager behind the scenes, letting him take over the entire basement with his projects and listening attentively when he passionately described new inventions and theories that went way over most of our heads. She had the unique opportunity to travel with him on many of his business trips abroad and talked fondly of their adventures together. This example of a loving marriage that I witnessed from a young age in my grandparents laid the foundation of my own marriage today. The last time I saw my grandparents together was when my grandfather was in hospice care. I am not sure if my grandma registered that I was in the room at this point, but while visiting, I saw my grandmother take my grandfather’s hand with both of hers, lean in close to him, and quietly reassure him “you can go now, we’ve had a wonderful life together.” I knew she meant it, too, because she was never the type of person to say anything she didn’t truly mean. In that moment I witnessed not only a beautiful relationship between two individuals, but a true picture of my grandma’s love and strength. She loved well, but was also strong enough to know when to let go.

We will dearly miss my grandmother, but rest in knowing she is with her Savior. And until we are reunited in heaven, I am so thankful that I can see little pieces of the beautiful mosaic of her heart in my own girls. I can see those character traits that lived in my grandmother live on through my 5 year old and 2 year old daughters. I see it in my 5 year old’s love of learning and two year old’s quiet and observant spirit. I see it in both girls’ love of music and dancing, and care and concern for others. How they are always trying to generously give away cherished artworks to friends and how they are the first to give a hug if someone is sad.

My grandmother was gentle, generous, kind, deeply devoted to her family, and loving towards all. She found joy in learning and comfort in music. The last time I visited my grandmother in hospice care, she asked me to sing her some Christmas Hymns. She smiled widely and closed her eyes and despite my slightly off-tune singing, I felt I was glimpsing just a sliver of the joy and peace I know she is now experiencing in heaven.