We often say that if someone doesn’t cry at one of our events, you’re not at one of our events. This is not to say we are proud that people cry— but then again, maybe we are— a little.
The reason is that BFA + Immigrant Kitchen spaces have always been about vulnerability. The whole goal is to create safe space where everyone is welcome. Everyone who approaches with an open heart, respect, and vulnerability.
Our “co-hosts,” women who are mostly home cooks, are taking a huge chance when they decide to work with us. Most of our co-hosts are accustomed to cooking for their families, and sometimes they are large, extended families. Still, that is quite a bit different than cooking for 75 or more people. Not only are they offering this food, legacy food that is a precious cultural asset, they are asked to share intimate details about their lives, families, backgrounds, immigration stories, and beyond. They are asked to do this often in English as a second language. Sometimes these women have only been in the country for a very short time.
And you know what? They do it. Each and every time, they do it with astounding courage, heart, and vulnerability. These spaces open something up in our guests. This energy can have the effect of everyone (or at least many) in the room dropping their masks and their guards, if even if its only for the duration of a meal (or a course.)
So when someone cries, we know we are in our zone. But the opposite of sadness is not joy. Not necessarily. Instead, they are close friends. Maybe not twins, but sisters. Inextricably linked, like a double helix— twisting around each other as a foundation for where life can be found. When we are sad, or touched, or vulnerable, we are also wading in the same water as profound joy.
When you come to one of our events, you are taking a risk. A risk to feel something with people you may not have otherwise met or understood. We’re challenging you to not only get in touch with details about other people that may have previously gone unrecognized, but certain tender parts of yourself, too.
We don’t just eat together. We are together.
Photos: Uche Iroegbu, Jaida Grey Eagle + Drew Just Snapped
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