The Murmur Through the Wall

I am six years old and I am lying in bed with Mama at Mama Florence and Papa Steve’s house.

We are staying there for the night, something we did from time to time. It is summertime, but Papa Steve has already made everyone go to bed.

He is just like that.

Sometimes we are in bed before it even gets dark because everyone in that house gets up early. Around five o’clock in the morning, the day is already beginning.

Tonight the room is completely dark.

There is no streetlight outside like there is at our house. The kind of darkness in that room is different. It is so dark I cannot see my hand in front of my face.

But Mama is lying right beside me.

I can feel that she is there.

And I am not afraid.

Then I hear it.

A sound coming through the wall.

Low.

Steady.

Rhythmic.

It is just a murmur, and I can’t understand a single word.

But I know what it is.

It is Grandma Matt praying.

I had heard her pray before. Everyone in the house knew that Grandma Matt prayed every night. Nobody ever sat me down and explained it. Nobody had to.

It was simply part of that house.

The way you know the sound of your own front door opening.

The way you know the way your house sounds after everyone has gone to bed.

Grandma Matt was in her bedroom on the other side of that wall, talking to God.

I lie there in the darkness and listen.

The sound doesn’t hurry.

It doesn’t rise or fall.

It just continues.

A quiet, steady murmur filling the space between the rooms.

I don’t know what she is praying about. I don’t know who she is praying for. I don’t know how long she has been doing this every night.

I only know that it makes me feel safe.

Mama is beside me.

Grandma Matt is praying in the next room.

Everything feels right.

After a while, the murmur becomes softer.

Then it stops.

The house grows quiet.

The last sound I remember is Mama breathing beside me.

Slow.

Steady.

Peaceful.

I fall asleep there in the darkness, listening to the breathing of the person beside me and knowing that everything is okay.

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