mayowa's 700 subscribers celebration party!!

Good evening distinguished ladies and gentlemen and welcome to the biggest event happening on your screen today!!!!

If you're reading this while lying on your bed….welcome!

If you're pretending to work while secretly reading this….welcome!

If you're eating while reading... please don't choke. If you're using dark mode... excellent choice.

You people should be lucky I didn't send out invitation cards, or aso-ebi. Please, come in.

There are empty seats everywhere o, so kindly look for one before someone starts shouting “is anybody sitting here?” I don't have the time to start separating people o, we're not primary school students here.😒

Small chops are being passed around, please collect only one sausage,I know some of you haven't eaten today, please take only one sausage, I'm begging you.🙏

Drinks are by the corner, one bigi cola per head o. The cake is waiting patiently for us, when it's time we'll cut it.

Anyways…thank you for coming. Today isn't just another article, it's a celebration for mayowa's pov !! 🥳

Seven hundred of you probably came across his articles and decided, "Yeah... I think I'll stay here."

I'm very sure that still blows Mayowa's mind. Anyways guys, before we begin, I'm your host for today and I'll like to make a quick announcement from the management.

Today's event has been divided into two sessions.

🥂 Session One: The Question and Answer session. This is where Mayowa answer the questions you people dropped on the subscribers chat.

❤️ Session Two: The Soft Closing Ceremony

Once we've laughed enough, we'll slow things down.. We'll invite Mayowa to come to the stage and talk about his journey, what writing has taught him and what seven hundred of you have unknowingly done for him. Hopefully, nobody cries before the closing prayer.

Now, let's make I big welcome, for the wonderful Mayowa!!!!

(Mayowa walks in, he is putting on a baggy jean and a white tee, he sits on a chair)

Now...If everybody is comfortably seated, let's officially begin!!

Our first question for you Mr Mayowa.

Mayowa: Oh wow! Well I think I've mentioned it in one of my articles but since you asked, i’m currently a 200lvl(upon resumption) student of prestigious Lagos State University. Yes, the "prestigious" is compulsory. Please don't remove it, thank you😂

Our handsome Mayowa attends Lagos State University guys. I heard they built the biggest library in West Africa, what a wonderful achievement! Anyways without wasting to much time, let's go to our next question.

And why do you think Mayowa is a relationship expert? Is it because he has written about four articles about love? Nawa o. Anyways, let's hear from the horses’ mouth.

Mayowa: Well, I think it's because people can become very much attached to attention without becoming attracted to the person. So when that attention disappears, it automatically feels like they've lost something. That doesn't instantly mean the liked you, they just missed being someone's favourite person.

But of course, there are exceptions. Sometimes the jealousy is what makes them realise they actually had feelings all along.😭

And allow to me chip in something real quick, Jealousy is not always proof of love. Sometimes it's proof that you got comfortable receiving something you never intended to return.

Ahan, Mayowa Mayowa, relationship coach. It's like you people will start paying money for all these advices o. Before we move to our next question, please if you haven’t subscribed to mayowa’s pov, you're doing the wrong thing😒 Oya subscribe now or else that small chops will not digest.

Next question please. Oops, this is more of a compliment guys.

Mayowa: Oh my daysss me? Main character energy?😭 Are we talking about the same person that forgets where he kept his phone while holding it? And if I look out together it means I need to start taking my acting career seriously and maybe audition for the next Avengers😔

But seriously, thank you so much. That genuinely made me smile.❤️

Aww, I'm blushing guys, wow..Thank you once again on behalf of Mayowa 😉 Next question please.

Omg this person came fully prepared, Mr Mayowa, you have the floor.

Mayowa: Girl, first of all....breathe😭

From what you've shared, I don't think this automatically means you like him.

Jealousy and disappointment can look very similar, especially when you've started imagining the possibility of something with someone.

My advice? Don't ask him about the post. Not yet.

You two are still getting to know each other, and unless he has given you a reason to believe there's something more between you, I don't think it's worth putting yourself in an awkward position.

Instead, give it a little time.

If you still find yourself thinking about him weeks from now, then maybe your answer isn't the post... maybe it's your feelings.

And if the girl really is his girlfriend?

Well... at least you found out early before your heart started writing wedding vows.😭❤️

And if you have started developing feelings or you're crushing on him, you better go and read my article on the the art of acting normal around your crush..to prevent future embarrassment.

Well said Mayowa, I read that article and it really saved me. Y'all need to read it o so you won't disgrace yourself while your crush is watching.😉

If you've made it here so far, congratulations! I'm happy to announce that the caterers and servers have started serving food already, please don't fight over food, remain sitted they'll attend to each and every one of you, thank you.🥲 Next question please.

Mayowa: I actually think you've already made your decision.😭 From the way you wrote this, it doesn't sound like you're confused about your feelings. You're only worried about loosing the friendship m If you don't like him anymore, don't force it because he confessed. Just be kind and honest and if he genuinely values your friendship, he'll understand. Be clear and gentle and let time do the rest.

Here we go again, Mayowa has given another relationship related advice. You guys will actually start paying #500 moving on. You can't just come here and expect free service without payment.😒 Next question please.

Mayowa: Hmmmm, I think I write because I don't know how not to. Some people out there process life by talking, some by making music. But for me? I do so by writing. Every article I've written here randomly starts as a thought that refuses to leave my head, sometimes at 2am, at times during a conversation, at times a song lyrics or a feeling I couldn't quite explain. Writing helps me make sense of things and honestly? it's one of the few places where I feel completely like myself.

So... I guess I write because it helps me understand the world and I keep writing because somehow, it helps some of you understand yours too.❤️

Writing really is therapy🥹 Next question please.

Mayowa: AHH worm ke, who asked this question lemme not catch you oo!! Anyways, Yes, but only if she promises not to disappear into the ground every time we're having an argument.😭

Let's move to our next question without wasting too much time, unfortunately this would be the last question to end our first session.

Mayowa: You know... I've actually been told this before.😭 Quite a number of times. I think I'm just naturally kind…if I enjoy talking to you I'll check up on you, joke with you and enjoy your company. Unfortunately…that has been mistaken for flirting more times than I'd like to admit😭 I don't intentionally blur the lines. I just think kindness shouldn't be reserved only for people we're romantically interested in.

Phew, guys it's time for the second session! The soft closing ceremony. Let's give a Mayowa a round of applause as we invite him to tell us what writing has taught him and what seven hundred of you have unknowingly done for him.

Mayowa: Well…writing has taught me that everybody has a story. The loudest people, the quietest people, the happiest people, even the ones who say “I'm fine” while carrying pains they constantly hide.

It has also taught me how to notice, listen, observe and feel and that ordinary moments are never really ordinary.

Most importantly, it has taught me that vulnerability isn't something to be ashamed of. Some of the articles I was most afraid to publish became the ones people held onto the most.

And I'm so happy to be on this journey with seven hundred of you! You have made me believe in my own voice. Now everytime I click “send to everyone” I know there's someone somewhere waiting to read it.

Every time one of you comments,

"I thought I was the only one."

or,

"You just described exactly how I feel."

I always reminded why I started writing in the first place. You probably think you're just reading my articles, but unknowingly, you've given me confidence. So thank you for choosing to stay. I love you all(not more than my babe though)🥲😂

here's to the next article! And the next one after that, and the next…..

Oh My god wowww! Guys please get me tissue, I think I'm about to cry😭 That was a good one from Mayowa, congratulations once again for hitting 700subs and thank you soo much for attending this party!

It's time to cut our invisible cake guys, we're going to spell Mayowa in 3,2,1 goooo!! M-A-Y-O-W-A MAYOWA!!!!

Thank you so much for coming, do have a wonderful…oh Mayowa wants to say something.

Mayowa: Yes I would like to thank some people…

My beautiful subscribers chat, I love them so much!🤭

Omg thank you to writers like Tobe Ugeh Hauwa DAMI Neme ace✰ BADA Najeebah Oyin Osikoya Amarachi 🦄 DeeDee Amaechi TalesByMidunPen Jedidiah Umar Fawaz Aderemi Josie Elewa Kester's Daughter Ebun Aerislife

They have constantly inspired me, challenged me and encouraged me to keep showing up. Whether they know or not, they've reminded me that writing cam make people feel seen, understood and a little less alone.

Also thanks to Tkayy's Journal for including it's been seventeen weeks in the first edition of The gist

And finally, thank you for reading this article (or attending this party🌚😂) Have a great day/night😂

With love,

Mayowa.

Read more of Mayowa's pov:

my childhood lied to me.

·

Jul 26

When I was younger, I genuinely thought adults were perfect. I thought they had everything figured out, knew what to do and what not to do, understood relationships, made money and knew how money worked. In short, they knew how life worked and growing up looked easy.

if not you, who?

·

Jun 26

There are some stories I'll probably never write, which is funny, because I've somehow made a career out of turning my life into articles. If something makes me laugh, it becomes a paragraph. If something breaks my heart, it somehow ends up on Substack three days later. Writing has always been my way of making sense of the things I don…

2:19am

·

Jul 11

It's 2:19am in Lagos. My bed sits quietly in the corner of my hostel room. The curtains are fully drawn, but my windows are left halfway open, allowing the cool night air to sneak in every now and then. My colourful LED lights paint the room in soft shades that make the darkness feel a little less empty.