Entry #31

Thursday, 24 Aug 2023

7.50am

When Harry got home last night, he had news from the estate agent in Italy: the viewers have put in an offer on another property, not ours.

My reaction was weird because my gut had been telling me this was what I wanted: my heart didn’t want to let go of this gorgeous old house and castle, no matter what hassles it has brought with it – namely that we can’t afford to run or maintain it. But, as well as relief, I felt a dash of disappointment: a sale would have solved our money problems and made life so much easier.

On reflection, I suppose the fact that I have mixed feelings means it’s still an unresolved issue in my mind – and in my heart. My relationship with the property feels like unfinished business. It feels like the house and castle and olive grove and all the grounds are just sitting there, waiting for me to make something out of them. Of course, that’s exactly what I’m doing using them as the setting for my next book. But what if, once I’ve written the book, my emotional attachment only tightens? And I’ll find it even more difficult to let it go?

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At least I can put all that out of my mind for the day. I’m delving back into the world of Hans Christian Andersen for the ballet scenario I’m pitching, but it’ll be a short writing day as Harry and I are recording our final episode of our show for Virgin Radio Pride this afternoon. We got ahead of ourselves at the start of the summer, recording two shows a week until the end of July. But then our producer had to cover for the main station’s breakfast and drivetime shows while the usual producers were on holiday – so we had to take a three-week break. I’m looking forward to getting back into the saddle today. And to rounding off this lovely chapter in my working life – so I can devote all my creative energies to the next. And writing a book set in our house in Italy!

Friday, 25 August 2023

5pm

Today has mainly been spent on the Hans Christian Andersen ballet scenario, which I’ve pretty much cracked – and, thankfully, my initial take on his sexuality and relationships was backed up by the biography I read. I do still have some loose ends to tie up and I want to read over it and play around with the dialogue between Andersen’s life and his fairy tales. So I’ll probably work at least part of tomorrow.

I was pulled away from working on the ballet treatment to do the cover reveal for One Love on social media. My new marketing manager wanted us to launch the artwork – with a lovely animated graphic she created – on the first day of the Manchester Pride festival, as the book is set over the four-day weekend. I think this was a sound decision, particularly as my publicist has timed his mail-out so that proofs will be landing with journalists, media producers and bloggers around now. It helps that I’m taking a year off from attending Manchester Pride, partly because I have trips to Bolton for family commitments on the weekends before and after, partly because I could do with a break before I live and breathe Manchester Pride while promoting One Love. So I was free to interact with followers and their comments to drive up engagement, which is what you have to do if you want this kind of post to get traction – not to mention thanking the all-important bloggers for their support and shares.

Lots of authors moan about having to spend so long on their social media but I don’t mind as I understand how important it can be. And I love the fact that it’s a tool authors can use and operate for themselves. The word ‘empowering’ is horrendously overused these days – last week I saw it applied to some hair-straighteners – but in this case I think it’s fitting. I can never forget that I owe my career as a writer to social media. The only way I was able to whip up a storm during the crowdfunding campaign for The Madonna of Bolton was by using my social media channels (and also – as I was editor at the time – those of Attitude magazine, which I admit was cheeky of me.) That crowdfunding campaign resurrected the first novel I’d written that had been languishing on the scrapheap for years. As it was loosely autobiographical and writing it had been such an important act of self-expression for me, I needed to see it published with something like a primal, existential urge. The crowdfunding campaign – and, ultimately, the success of the book – also got me out of the publishing wilderness, where I’d been since being dumped by first publisher for the two lighter books I’d written after The Madonna of Bolton, which failed to sell – meaning no other publishers would take me on. So I can’t forget any of this. I literally wouldn’t be here revealing the cover of my new book if it weren’t for social media.

Since the crowdfunding campaign for The Madonna of Bolton, I’ve noticed spikes in sales of my books every time I post about them on social media – or should I say every time I do a significant post. I’m pretty sure that one of the reasons Becoming Ted didn’t do as well as expected was because its release in hardback coincided almost exactly with the Elon Musk takeover of Twitter and its subsequent fall off a cliff. As a former journalist, Twitter was always my busiest platform and the one on which it was easiest to reach people outside my own following – via likes and retweets from my followers, which made my posts show up on their timelines. But Musk changed the positioning of the platform completely and book-lovers, creatives and queers deserted it in droves.

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With Twitter – or X, as it’s now been rebranded – still a no-go area, these days I concentrate on Instagram, but I find it difficult to punch through on there; now that people have stopped following hashtags, it’s pretty much impossible to reach people outside your following, unless your followers share your Story. I also do LinkedIn, the new Threads and have a nominal presence on TikTok (which I can’t help thinking is far too young and cool for me). And, it may be supposedly un-cool, but I still get good results from Facebook, not only from my own account but several Facebook reading groups I engage with regularly.

So all that explains my activity today – and it explains why the cover reveal dragged me away from Hans Christian Andersen.

Indeed, the downside of social media is that it can be a distraction from writing. But I just have to be really disciplined in maintaining my focus. In not letting my adrenaline start pumping when I see I’ve had support from authors I admire, such as David Nicholls, Alexandra Potter and Ruth Hogan (whilst also remembering to thank them). Thankfully, self-discipline isn’t something I lack. At the same time, nor is excitement. But why should I suppress that when there’s so much about my career that’s causing me worry and anxiety? Shouldn’t I allow myself to get excited about something as important as a cover reveal? And this is the last full-length book in my contract, it may be my last…