Mary McCarthy
Photo: Ron Galella (from 1982 Radio City Music Hall Diet Coke premiere with Rockettes)
I guess when your kids start giving you Diet Coke themed gifts for Christmas, you start realizing it’s more than just a casual favorite drink. Spare me “that poison will kill you” lessons—as Rizzo used to say in Grease: “there are worse things I could do.” I’m aware it’s not exactly a healthy protein smoothie, and I limit my intake to exactly one a day, at lunch.
The only change to this routine came recently when Coca-cola saw fit to disturb my long-established system by introducing Diet Coke Cherry. Long a fan of the “freestyle” machine at Wendy’s, Burger King, Wawa and some other locations, I love making Cherry Vanilla Diet Cokes, so when Diet Coke Cherry in a can was released, I switched over. Now I’m having a hard time finding it in the grocery store (get it together, Acme!) and worried it’s going to be dropped, so I’m hoarding it when and if I see it someplace.
In February, Coca-cola was feeling nostalgic and re-released Diet Coke Cherry, originally available when I was in high school in the 80s. In fact, the whole thing is a 40th throwback; the company enthusiastically announced as part of their news release “celebrating four decades of cherry-flavored innovation”:
“Introduced in 1985 as CocaCola’s first-ever flavored extension of the trademark brand, Cherry Coke established a legacy that continues to influence beverage culture today. In 2026, CocaCola builds on that heritage by offering consumers more cherry-forward choices than ever before, reflecting growing demand for nostalgic flavors.”
Ok, “cherry-forward” sounds like a Gen Z marketing chick is being unnecessarily woke about “beverage culture,” relax, Coca Cola, and also, Cherry Forward would sound better as a drag queen name. But in what they kinda ridiculously call their “cherry portfolio,” they introduced Coca-Cola Cherry Float and also CocaCola Zero Sugar Cherry Float, for a total of five (there’s also CocaCola Zero Sugar Cherry) cherry-related flavors.
Here’s the problem: stores only have x amount of room on the shelves for Coca-Cola, and with the Mormons making “dirty soda” the hottest thing since coffee, brands are rushing new flavors to market. Long story short, there’s not enough room for five varieties of “Cherry-forward” Coca-Cola on the shelves and Diet Coke Cherry hasn’t appeared in my regular grocery store all summer. I’ve been stopping in random Walmarts and no-name weirdo grocery stores searching for the soda aisle like an unhinged junkie. I ran into someone recently in a neighboring town who said “I didn’t know you shopped here!” and mumbled something about grabbing something for dinner while in the area because I was too embarrassed to admit the cherry Diet Coke scavenger hunt. I even have mini cans of CocaCola Zero Sugar Cherry Float (which is actually really good) that I’ll mix into my Diet Coke (or make ice cubes out of to add) for when I’m running low on the endangered “cherry-flavored innovation” since I’m so worried they’re going to pull it.
Diet Coke in and of itself is a culture. When I’m on Instagram, the algorithm will toss funny sketches, Diet Coke art items (yeah, there are tons) or Gen Z “fridge cigarette” content because as we know, Gen Z invented everything before they were even born and nothing existed before TikTok. Algorithms (and my fellow Diet Coke addict brother) being what they are, I consume a lot of Diet Coke content, and agree with my fellow DC community members that there is a hierarchy in the way we consume the beverage.
DC fans generally consider the aluminum can the day to day standard. Out in the world, we know a McDonald’s Diet Coke is superior and will go through their drive-through for Diet Cokes only. Damn them and their crispy coke bubbles, the Golden Arches have a chokehold on our addiction. On behalf of my brother, and for the record I’m not a fan of supporting Jesus Chicken and rarely go (nuggets for my son and that damn peppermint milkshake they have at Christmas are the exceptions), but there is something to be said for the environment-be-damned Diet Coke served in styrofoam at Chick-fil-A since it stays cold longer. You’ll never see me carrying this, as my gay card would be evoked immediately.
I’ll go out on a limb and say if there was a Wawa next to a McDonalds, I would 100% go into the Wawa because I love that freestyle machine Cherry Vanilla Diet Coke that you can only get in that way. My DC fam knows ball, which means Diet Coke in a plastic bottle is always a last resort, especially a 2-liter bottle where you can hear it go flat as soon as you twist that top.
A good friend gifted me the “I need a Diet Coke” sweatshirt for my birthday. As a miniaturist I’m in love with my mini Diet Coke cans. What can I say, it’s a “beverage culture” I guess I’ve been a part of for (apparently) four decades and if it ends up being the thing that offs me, that’s on me and my “cherry-forward” lifestyle choices I guess. But there are worse things I could do.
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