For a long time, bigger was better.
If you had bigger guests lists, venues, speakers, and moments, you were a leader in building community.
Somewhere along the way, impact became synonymous with scale. And like many founders building community, I felt that pressure too.
There have been moments where I scrolled through social media and saw sold-out community events with hundreds of people, elaborate productions, and beautifully branded experiences, and it would make me question everything I was doing.
But every time I’ve tried to chase “bigger”, I’ve been reminded why I started Her Workplace in the first place.
Because I was tired of going to events where I felt invisible.
There’s a very real tipping point when it comes to events.
When the room gets too big, the energy shifts. You stop thinking about connection and start thinking about performance.
It becomes:
What should I wear?
Who should I talk to?
How do I make this “worth it”?
How can I make as many new connections as possible?
You start scanning the room instead of settling into it, and you become more focused on how you’re being perceived rather than how you actually feel and how you make others feel.
Overall you feel like you have to be “on”. And when you’re “on,” you’re not really connecting, you’re just managing an impression.
This is when conversations get shorter, interactions feel more transactional, and people leave with very few real relationships.
I’ve also noticed, and experienced, that in bigger rooms, the same types of people tend to take up space. The loudest voices. The most confident networkers. The people who know how to “work the room.”
And for everyone else, it’s easy to feel invisible. I know I did for most of my career.
I hated going to events where I didn’t feel seen, heard, or valued.
Because the most interesting, thoughtful, and ambitious people aren’t always the ones who dominate a crowded space. They’re the ones who thrive when they feel comfortable enough to actually be themselves.
That’s never been the culture of how I build community through Her Workplace and my other ventures.
From day one, I’ve cared more about how someone feels walking into a room than how impressive the room looks from the outside.
Because if someone walks in and immediately feels at ease, like they don’t have to prove anything, perform, or position themselves differently, that’s when the real conversations start.
And those are the ones that actually change careers.
I’ve been noticing a shift lately, not just within Her Workplace, but across the industry.
People are craving smaller rooms again. More founders, communities, and brands are realizing:
Access > audience size
Depth > visibility
Trust > reach
And honestly, it makes sense. We’re all overstimulated, over-networked, and over-curated.
There’s a fatigue that comes with constantly putting yourself out there, and it’s more intimate spaces remove that pressure.
They create room for people to actually show up as themselves, which is where real connection begins.
If you’re building a community, or just thinking about it, here are the principles I keep coming back to:
Comments
Nothing yet. Say the first thing.
Sign in to join the conversation.