it was never truly yours.

I’m ripping davidoff cigarillos with a side of raw milk ice cream. sugarmaxxing is peak.

there was a time in my life where I ate nothing but beef + eggs with a sprinkle of sea salt. I feared carbs as much as the next person.

only cuz I bought into a health course that instilled this belief into me. always factcheck.

you’ll learn much more, if you dive deep into a topic urself...

city’s looking mad sexy from up here. I’m on top of the world, puffin on clouds.

38th floor. I put this exact apartment on my vision board. I had my vision and I made that clear. now I’m feeling like a god looking down on everyone. unreal.

I always go back to this period of my life.

I remember it so so vividly...

6am. lights on. always on. every single morning. back when I was walking back home from the gym with nothing but a bag with spare work uniform and big dreams.

I’d stop under it, and for a moment, visualise myself living up there one day. like some ‘secret millionaire’ who writes his thoughts down overlooking the beautiful city lights.

didn’t matter if it was pouring it down, or snowing. I’d always pause for a little while. I needed to live this feeling.

and I’d run it.

sextuple espresso in my left palm. that icy feeling you’d get off holding a glass at that height. the city underneath me, and little dots walking to their day jobs that are slowly killing them, and me above it...

awake. before anyone else. already watching the magic of my work unfold.

everyone has that itch that needs to be scratched asap. for me it’s just to get into the top leagues, be superior, be free and peaceful.

you rehearse something enough times, it becomes real.

most great things take time.

and I’d ran it back if I had to.

ur nervous system can’t tell the difference between a real experience and a vividly imagined one.

nobody ever runs it in the other direction.

if it can’t tell the difference... then you already had it.

I prayed for this shit.

and until I got it, I kept my head down, seeing myself sitting in a herman miller, feeling godlike.

interestingly... even when I got it, I wasn’t happy. I knew it was meant to be. I’ve seen this image so many times I didn’t care it finally came into reality.

so what’s left?

only the unknown lands. things you haven’t wished for yet, that’ll spike adrenaline inside u.

the girl that stepped into ur life, when u was in “hustler mode”.

the opportunity that u never knew existed.

which is a horrific answer for a guy like me.

I see everything before it happens. I have already analysed every dimension down to its first principles. and the price of that is I will never again be surprised by my own life.

fuck it.

I’d still do it.

I’ll do it again tonight before my head hits the pillow.

different world. higher stakes.

it keeps life very very interesting.

it ain’t just a phase.

lights are on somewhere.

run towards em.

stay schizo.

g2Ø.

p.s

u ain’t gonna live a life u want by daydreaming

there’s a difference in what u see as real, and what simply stays a dream

and it is costing u everything

the difference is in here. tap in.