it gets boring quick.

almost 5am as I’m writing this. technically my bedtime, but there is a 5’2 brunette laid up beside me.

10mg of tadafinil popped. she will regret getting my number.

eyes are fried. I’ve already slammed a megadose of pinealon.

got a flight booked in a few days. schizo is going international. better hide your girl.

phone’s always on dnd. no socials are ruining tonight’s venture.

listening to the odyssey soundtrack on low, one airpod in, letting ludwig göransson bless me with the level of flow state that’s unspoken of.

bunch of organic fruit scattered on the desk. quick drizzle of raw honey to turn it into god’s snack.

60mg nicotine sitting in my upperlip. it’s the only thing keeping me alive.

can’t even feel my knuckles. going in raw always gets me in trouble.

i haven’t seen the sunlight in a few months. the silky blackout curtains are ruining my sleep schedule, and I’m not one bit concerned.

is this the real fun?

honestly. I am probably digging myself a grave here. I should be telling you how fantastic this life is, why you should be obsessed like me, and you should aspire to be just like me.

but it’s just not true. it ain’t obsession. it’s quite boring.

progressing in life is so easy, it’s a default state.

I can literally go a few months without nothing exciting happening, because I am certain anything i wished for will come eventually.

I don’t even have a set routine anymore, despite what every online mfer tells you... all i do is sit back and watch the life unfold infront of me. (with a lovely dose of nicotine)

a lot of it is just daily grind stuff... nothing that cannot be done in dreamstate.

sometimes, I catch myself dreaming about writing a piece with my eyes open, I swear I’ve been sent down by the gods. smh.

one day you’re a beginner, searching for ways to get better at anything you want to put your mental energy into.

next day you’re 0.00001% in that field.

and the moment you get GREAT at something, it gets easy.

once it gets easy. it gets boring. quick.

I’m grateful to live in the poetry i write, I’m grateful to see from the god level view, something a lot of guys won’t experience.

what i mean is... life feels robotic.

and when your life gets robotic, it gets boring.

but i want you to understand that this is essential.

everyone needs this period in their life of purely having eyes on the ball, and keeping it there until the first big hit.

but once you made it out, emotions shift.

the point is... you’re still ticking off the same boxes as before, and the only difference being, you can’t even tell when these boxes are getting ticked off.

it’s so ingrained in you, it got too easy.

and anything that feels easy. simply gets boring.

some guys get a perfect brunette sweetheart under their wing, then cheat on her w a blue haired alt girl. it disgusts me to even talk about this.

this is simply because the novelty wore off. excitement lives in novelty, and when they’ve got their initial spike of the “happy” hormone it dies off when they realise it’s a sad pursuit of a “unhappy” life.

one must imagine sisyphus happy.

pushing the boulder uphill ain’t boring.

the boulder itself is.

it’s a journey of becoming. that’ll never get boring. you just need to get through it.

but I’m just hyping up the idea of enjoying boredom in hopes you will actually apply it.

its a process, for sure.

you know, boredom is to creatives what cardio is to athletes, and when you’re on the come up, the key reason you will only go up up up, is if your mind is set right.

you know when it happens because you will start coming up with new ideas you have never thought about before.

but when you burn yourself out mentally, that’s when “unhappiness” sets in.

so the whole game is this...

you must fall in love with the things that bore you.

getting lost along the way.

suffering from too much output. until success.

then you marry the suffering.

and every marriage eventually... gets boring.

it gets boring because you’ve already got it.

and anything that you’ve already got, loses excitement.

this is why divorce rates are so high. the girl you’ve been with for years is not exciting anymore.

to pursue greatness, your goal shouldn’t be too exciting or not at all.

if it’s not exciting? it loses its beauty.

if it’s too exciting? same applies.

there is gonna be shit out of your control. that’s fine. by now you should realise its not just sun and rainbows all the time.

this is the point where you start reliving the times you was doubting your capacity to make it. the days where you felt excited to fail and run it back again.

but after repeatedly pursuing greatness and learning new systems to gain a distinct point of view on life. soon it becomes boring.

all of a sudden, grind feels “normal”

if you ask anybody who has made it out, they will always tell you they’ve just tinkered with their neurochemistry a bit, and made it hard to lose, winning is easy then.

find the boring things fun. when you’re not enjoying the work you do, you will always hate what you do.

moreso, produce half arsed results.

and remember, the people who are crazy enough to think that they can change the world, are usually the ones who do.

anything that feels hard now, you will look back on in a few years with a smile. it’s part of the journey.

the pursuit of greatness through a period of “unhappiness”

where you don’t expect for a lot to happen. but soon enough you will be enjoying the fruits of this boring labour.

but that’s just the price of being the top dawg. becoming bored.

that’s all for today.

and if you’re unhappy with your life now...

that’s perfectly normal.

no matter how unlikely success seems now.

it will all make sense in the sense in the end.

keep grinding.

nicotine is wearing off. time for bed. see you soon enough.

until we meet again...

stay schizo.

g2Ø.

P.S email on schizo elite coming tonight… (dissecting a hoe’s mind)