It has been six months since I closed the doors at The Plus Bus, and just over three months since I ended my pop up concept, Perfect 10+, in Atwater Village. My identity has changed wildly over the last 10 years in many other ways as well.
As I reflect on the last decade of my life, from starting as a reality television producer in 2015 after finishing my Master’s at USC, getting married and co- founding The Plus Bus in 2016, I realize everything is constantly evolving.
[SIDE NOTE: I still have inventory, and if you’ve been following along, you know there is still something to be done here. I just need to figure out exactly what that is. In the meantime, follow our IG stories for weekly story sales and some beautiful pieces to score.]
This is a complete life reset: a midlife makeover, a midlife meltdown, a millennial midlife crisis. But I am really trying not to view it as a crisis. I want to think of it as a reinvention or renaissance. Clearing out what does not serve me and running towards my dreams. This time with the wild and focused abandon. I want to travel the world, be the journalist I went to college to be, share real stories about what matters, and share pieces of my own life, maybe all while looking fabulous while doing it and sourcing the most amazing clothing as I go … for us all. Is that so hard to manifest?
Why Substack? Why Now?
While I love and have been deeply inspired by writers like Roxane Gay, Lindy West, Samantha Irby, and Jes Baker, there are still so many more stories to be told. I”m daring to dream, daring to bare, stripping it all down. Because why not? I figure at this point. I have nothing to lose. Comparison is the thief of joy afterall, isn’t it?
This is my story and as a self-diagnosed ADHD millennial: I’ve struggled deeply with total analysis paralysis over whether I should start a podcast, write a book, write a movie, pen a TV show, start on YouTube, or maybe do a vertical….. so….. I am starting with the medium that feels the most immediate and relevant: Substack. No excuses, no holding back.
Creators like Katie Sturino (Lobby Coffee is the best name for anything) have thrived here over the last couple of years on Substack. I view this space as similar to the early days of YouTube. I am going to start publishing the writings I’ve collected over the last few years. You will be reading real stories, though I will be changing names (including my own at times) to protect everyone’s privacy. They will be rough and raw, but all REAL and TRUE, and maybe even a little spicy. I am making it exist and then I can make it GOOD.
I have been laid, engaged, married, the popular girl, class president, most famous person at my 10 year high school reunion AND all along a total “pick-me.” I am finally deciding to pick ME.
Reprogramming Diet and Romance Culture
The last 13 years of my life have been dedicated to reprogramming diet culture. Now, I need to reprogram romance culture. Any culture you participate in has its share of toxic and helpful elements (can’t spell culture without the word CULT).
Right now, I am dissecting everything I have experienced and learned over my 42 years.
Cliff Notes: anyone who has been shoved Disney princesses down their throat since birth are obsessed with romance. Ariel gives up her family, her greatest gift and changes her body for a MAN she has seen ONCE!!!! Do you not think watching this daily would affect a KINDERGARTENER???? I am determined to reprogram a lifetime of “someday my prince will come.”
Centering the Latina Perspective & Fat Liberation We have heard the white perspective in various degrees from
My stories are written from a Latina perspective because representation matters and I am ready to unpack the elements of my culture that impacted my upbringing. Ever heard of Hispanic Panic?
Growing up, I watched shows like Fresh Prince, Girlfriends, and In Living Color, but we never really had that equivalent for Latinos (or maybe I don’t know what they are so check me if I am missing out!) I loved East Los High and even the Hot Cheetos movie, but I think we need more and from the plus size perspective that isn’t some sad fat girl sob story.
Now my family watched telenovelas like Betty la Fea, and Maria Mercedes, but there wasn’t really “Barbie main character” energy. Don’t even get me going on Barbies. I used to HATE when my mom would bring home any doll other than BARBIE. I don’t want Teresa or Midge. I want Barbie and she is ALWAYS the main character of any storyline in my daily Barbie afterschool saga.
I know I have that main character energy. Without it, I never would have been on TV, co-created The Plus Bus, or connected with so many of you. I am ready to completely ditch the idea that my fatness has any bearing on whether I get to be the main character. I am the main character of my own life.
My life does not exist to bring anyone but myself pleasure.
My life does not exist to be someone’s hobby or their sole source of joy.
I am not here merely to entertain others like a jester or monkey.
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