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Lucy on the Ground · Aug 14, 2026

Luce Ends: Aug 14

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Lucy on the Ground · Lucy on the Ground

This week’s Luce Ends was written days in advance as August 13th is my five year wedding anniversary and August 14th (today) is Bill’s birthday. So if some breaking news story hits and I miss it…oops!

Mid-way through August feels like the appropriate time to come to the realization that we’re having another baby.

I’ve been very transparent about how baby number three has been a bit of an afterthought this go-around, but now that we’re two months out (yes, I’m slightly rounding because I am so deeply uncomfortable), it’s something I can no longer avoid. Probably because I don’t sleep well and have to carry my stomach with one hand, but that’s beside the point. Baby is onboard and about to de-board and we’ve (I’ve) got to get my shit together. Unfortunately, whatever shit we needed together has taken a back burner to something far more important….the eldest daughter.

Everyone has been so surprised at how well both Frankie and Coco have adjusted to this move. And, while this last week doesn’t negate all of that, it does put both Bill and I in the mindset of “oh my god, did we fuck up our kids?” which is always a lovely feeling.

Coco hasn’t been herself the last ten days or so. Since writing this, she has turned a it around quite a bit, but it still feels jarring enough to share—it’s honestly like she’s trying on different attitudes for size. We’ve picked up new phrases from new friends at school and cant be bothered to listen to mom when it comes to pretty much anything. Dad maybe commands a little more respect, but even that went out the window one night this week and I couldn’t help but feel like I’d broken my sweet kid by putting her through too much change at once. A new house, a new school, a new baby—all things she didn’t ask for. Everyone reminds me kids are resilient and I do believe that, I just also believe that everyday their personality is shifting, either drastically or slightly, and you’re sort of playing whack-a-mole to knock out the bad stuff before it sticks around too long and becomes permanent…but in the process you could hit something good and then that’s gone too.

Like I said, since starting this post she’s settled down and been more receptive to talking about this little outburst, but it opened the door to us talking to her teachers (who all had lovely things to say and echoed the sentiment that she’s going through a lot of change!) and some friends, both of whom are eldest daughters and voiced how hard that can be, especially with a new sibling on the way. As an only child and someone who never moved until she was eighteen, sometimes I'm a fish out of water when it comes to these big moments my kids are going through.

What’s extra funny is, this post was supposed to be about the fact that this week is our five year anniversary. In a weird way, it still kind of is—in five years we’ve added two to our crew. We’ve moved three times. And now, here we sit, laying in bed discussing how our usual problem child has been a gem the last two weeks and the usually well adjusted one seems set on ticking us off. And somehow we’re adding another one to the mix in just two months….

I’ve said before that I feel eerily calm this pregnancy—I attribute a lot of that to the fact that I don’t have an actual 9 to 5 suffocating me, but I also have to give credit to the fact that two kids have seasoned us. I’m still panicked somewhere deep down that we’re yet again screwing up the first two in some irreparable way by adding in a third, but I also know that we got over the vibe shift by adding one kid to our newlywed lives and we didn’t crumble when we brought a second into our trio so things will be okay. Better than okay.

Despite not getting each other anything for five years, I think I can safely say we’ve give each other some sort of foundation to feel secure enough to keep this thing going another five. Hell, we might even tack on five more after that! It’s easy to talk about having a family with someone, but until you’re in it—until you see them negotiate with a two-year-old for the seventh time in one night to stay in their bed or ask a four-year-old to stop calling mom “bossy pants”—you can’t be sure. But sitting here now, my pelvis being iced and my husband snoring away, I feel sure I picked the right guy. (Not to mention he painted the fireplace for me last weekend and is doing the book shelves after family comes and before I send him to the nursery….since I still have to clean out the nursery!)

So cheers to five years, Bill. Maybe sometime in the next five years we’ll actually take our honeymoon. And happy birthday too—I got you a gift but it won’t get here till October.

  • Duck Feathers (My Couch Cleaning Saga and Tips)

  • A jumble of sale links to sort through

Performing Miracles On Our Performance Fabric Sofa

For anyone who follows me on Instagram…first, I’m sorry. You followed me under the pretense of Bravo and pop culture and now are stuck with home improvement rants, BUT it does seem like a lot of you millennials really resonated with my cream couch debacle so I’m bringing the full story and break down of the cleaning here for future reference!

You’re welcome.

Like many millennial women, I was raised on Nancy Meyers movies. And because of that, I wanted…no, NEEDED…a white couch for my home. So of course I got pregnant with my first and got one custom made at Pottery Barn. Little did I know that Pottery Barn (a store I will still shop at because I need the matching dresser and bad for my girls’ room) was praying on these Nancy Meyers dreams with their “performance fabric” bullshit.

Now, I have to preface that expecting the fabric to perform miracles was asking a lot….but when Stanley Steamer showed up with their fabric specialist this week and said “we really shouldn’t work on this”, I was distraught. APPARENTLY this performance fabric sofa was made with duck feathers and the browning on my fabric was not just the work of two toddlers but the feathers bleeding through. Steaming it (do NOT use your little green steamers on these either btw) would only make it worse!!

So, naturally, I called my mom who used to clean antique linens and sell them for (she’s lived many lives) and we got to work. Now, I am being very vulnerable showing you the before of one of these cushions—I almost didn’t even take pictures because it was so embarrassing when faced with the filthiness we’d accrued and the fact that we probably couldn’t save it—but honesty is key here to show what kind of miracle we performed.

THAT IS WHAT WE WE’RE WORKING AGAINST. In more than one spot. To be fair, the sofa did get caught in the rain during the moon and that possibly enhanced things but we also just beat this couch up.

Now onto the hard work!! PREFACING—the sofa says “do not remove the cushions”, “do not clean yourselves” and “do not put in direct sunlight”….and we did the opposite so I will not be liable for anything that goes wrong!

You’ll need Oxiclean and Dawn Platinum Plus Powerwash (the blue bottle), a big sink or bathtub and time. You will NOT need or even look at your washing machine—LOOK AWAY. DO NOT USE THIS.

  1. Remove the cushion covers from the cushions. Spot spray them with the Dawn and let sit a few minutes while you fill your sink.

  2. Fill your sink with warm water and two scoops of Oxi (if you do the bathtub, do three) and mix it around until the crystals disintegrate. You can spray Dawn in there too for good measure.

  3. Soak one of your cushions in the warm water at a time, for the same amount of time (we did 8 minutes but it’s up to you)

    1. If they’re as dirty as mine, you’re going to want to soak them, then drain the water and fill it up again.

    2. We did the seat covers individually but the back cushions weren’t as bad so did them together

  4. We then moved upstairs to the bathtub and did three scoops in warm water, more spot treatment with the Dawn and rubbed it in with our hands. We soak all the fabric together for a few minutes, hosed it off and put it in a trash bag to take outside and use the power hose

  5. Rinse THOROUGHLY—if you cant do this outside, do it in the shower but you NEED all the soap gone for these to dry correctly/ not stiff

  6. While you’re cushion covers are drying (BUT DON’T LET THEM FULLY DRY), get large (as large as you need) trash bags and put them over the actual cushions

    1. HERE IS WHY: first, the cushion covers have to be put on a little damn so they dont shrink, BUT we now know that the brown duck feathers are part of the problem so we don’t want the damn covers touching the pillow and missing up your hard work

  7. When your covers feel slightly damp (but not too damp), you can put them on the cushions to finish drying.

  8. Once they’re done drying you can remove to get the trash bags off

  9. Use warm water and Oxiclean and a tooth brush or wash cloth to rub out the arms and base of the sofa if needed—remember to rinse Oxi off with warm water

And now for the big reveal…..

Is it perfect? No. Could I have fluffed the cushions and scrubbed the arms before this reveal? Of course. But the arms show you the difference between them and the cushions—and I will say, it looks better in person (weird lighting happening) but if you want a miracle performed on your white, Nancy Meyers couches, this is the way to go!

Just a quick spam session from yours truly—none of which, YET AGAIN, has anything to do with the fact that a baby is about to exit center stage in a matter of weeks. *sigh*

As always, sharing my ShopMy and Amazon pages here and this week’s Luce Ends shown below linked here!

Other sales include this viral Amazon dress that is on sale for $19.99, this candle warmer for my Hotel Lobby candles, TOMS is doing buy one, get one 50% off so I got the girls some fall shoes, these Target pull on pants are on sale and these red ballet flats for fall are 50% off!

📰I just discovered this American Girl Magazine For Adults Substack and I’m loving the vibe (this month she talks about throwing a Nancy Meyers dinner party…SAY LESS)

🎤Keke had Whoopi on her podcast last week and, while I’ve only been able to listen to a bit of it, I have loved their interaction so far and how close Whoopi got to not even getting her biggest roles

🏽I finally went ahead and bought this viral floral jute rug—I LOVE it and Bill has never hated anything more (truly, his reaction was shocking) so it’s gone to the guest room/ my office where I will be able to enjoy it in peace

🀄The Mahjong Line and Furbish are partnering together to make Mahjong pillows and, while I still haven’t started lessons in KC (mom, you were supposed to do that!) I am obsessed

📖 I love when Becca from Book Enthusiast does a Substack breakdown for her paid subscribers—I am so nosey and always dreaming of the day when I can make a paid tier worth it on here and appreciate the transparency (also her second novel comes out this October and she’s sending it to me early—preorder here!!!)

👜 Someone did a podcast recently about how women who carry two bags in the workplace aren’t going to be taken seriously (ha) and my friend Kate (aka Be There In Five) broke down how ridiculous that entire theory is here. I can’t wait to listen—Kate always has a way at poking at things that really makes me think and also makes me crave the days when we can schedule another martini date.

🖊Just another writing challenge I’m telling myself I’m doing before the baby comes…because that’s super realistic

Any codes you need headed into this month are below!

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