Five Days

Five days. That's how long I've been solo parenting.

Five days since I kissed my husband goodbye. And sent him to San Diego, interviewing for jobs. A possible relocation for our family.

Is it really solo parenting if I live in the basement of my parent’s house?

If I absolutely needed them, they'd be there.

But here’s what I know for sure, I have been doing it all. Mostly by myself too!

I’m the one getting everyone up in the morning. I’m the one hauling three kids up and down the stairs because we share a kitchen upstairs. ( It just as exhausting as it sounds! )

I’m the one making breakfast, lunch, and dinner.

Every bottle.

Every diaper.

Every nap.

Every bedtime.

Every middle of the night wake up.

Every crying baby.

Every toddler tantrum.

I take care of one baby at a time, paying attention who needs me most in each moment. Because all three of my kids need something different.

Malina wants to play, run around and explore.

Maverik wants to be cuddled.

Malachi wants you to talk to him.

Before this weekend, I doubted myself. Genuinely doubted whether I could do this. To be a stay at home mom to three kids, alone, even temporarily. When people found out I was having twins so close in age, some of them told me to my face they were worried. Others didn't say it, but I could see it on their faces.

And honestly? I was worried too.

This weekend proved something to me.

Of course, It's been emotionally and physically hard. I'm not going to pretend otherwise. But I did it. I got up every time. I showed up for every kid, every time they needed me. And I'm fucking proud of that. ( I don't swear much, but this felt needed )

This morning I was laying in bed with all three of my kids. Maverik to my left, Malachi sprawled across my stomach and Malina snuggled up against my right. The moment was beautiful. After a morning full of big emotions from all three kids, it felt like a little reward. The kind of moment that reminds you why you keep showing up, even on the hardest days. I wish I could freeze time.

I asked AI to create me an image because it felt so beautiful and I couldn’t take a picture haha

I'm capable. I can do this. Five days just proved it.

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Xoxo