Reading · The Takeaway with Liz Moody

Hi friend!

Welcome back to Ask Liz, the weekly column where I answer your most pressing life questions—the ones you’d ask your most knowledgeable friend if she happened to have done a deep dive on literally everything.

Every week, I go deep on one real question submitted by YOU and provide science-backed and expert-informed solutions. These posts are free for everyone, but paid subscribers get access to our full archive plus the option to submit a question directly to me. Not a paid subscriber yet?

Upgrade me!

If you’re already part of the fam, you can scroll down to the bottom of this post and submit your question there. Now, let’s get into today’s question.

Dear Liz,

It’s already August, and I feel like I haven’t had a real summer AT ALL. Work hasn’t slowed down—I still have tons of it—and by the time I get home, I’m scrambling to get my kids dinner, in the bathtub, and to bed. Then all I have left for, energy-wise, is scrolling.

I feel terrible that this summer has been so chaotic and unrelaxing, and I feel like when the school year starts, I’m going to be extra burned out, which makes me sad. What can I do to better take advantage of the final month of summer?

— Exhausted In August

Dear EIA,

To quote one of the wisest women of our time, Taylor Swift, it’s very easy to let August slip away like a moment in time—so I’m glad you’re asking about this now. To be honest, I myself was feeling this hard (all work, zero relaxation), until I made the intentional choice to take a vacation that has put me somewhat off the grid.

But it sounds like taking a week-long vacation isn’t in the cards for you right now. That’s totally fine! There’s still a ton you can do to make this final month of summer truly restorative instead of more of the same.

When I spoke with productivity expert, best-selling author, and Georgetown University professor Cal Newport on my podcast, he told me that human beings were never supposed to be working all day, every day with minimal breaks. Our brains naturally have big swings in intensity and creativity, and then slower seasons. But in modern times, where we have 24/7 access to laptops and phones, that’s become the norm—which is a recipe for burnout.

So, yes, ideally you would have had a “real summer” when things slowed down a bit. But since that’s not super realistic for you right now, can you find any small markers to differentiate this month from the others and make it feel more festive? Here are some ideas to try:

Eat dinner outside a few times a week
Take your kids to the farmers’ market to sample all the sweet August fruit
Take a Saturday or Sunday day trip to a nearby town, city, beach, or lake
Turn the kids’ bedtime routine into something that feels more “summery” once a week. I don’t have kids, so I’m not the expert but…could you choose one night to have bathtime in the sprinklers?

Zack and I went paddleboarding on a random Tuesday once. These small acts of novelty can help shake things up and make the season feel more intentional, even if you’re not taking actual time off.

It seems like work has been really demanding this summer, and that completely sucks. But is there a way to pull back a bit over these next few weeks? One thing Cal Newport mentioned is that people don’t necessarily notice if you pull back at work once in a while and don’t work quite as hard. As long as in general you’re a great employee (and it sounds like you are), it’s very unlikely that anyone will notice you “slacking off” for one month.

Other things you can try could include taking more advantage of work-from-home policies, or canceling any meetings for the remainder of the summer that feel unnecessary. Better yet, is there any way you can squeeze in a day of PTO on a Friday?

If none of those things are an option, the main pocket of time I’d encourage you to do everything in your power ot take back is your evenings. The scrolling is so, so tempting, but Cal Newport explains that those fast dopamine hits really deplete you. Our devices are completely addictive, so the best thing to do is create literal physical barriers between you and your phone—like, lock it in a drawer. I have a whole episode on how I reduced my screentime, if it’s helpful to listen.

It seems like you already know that September is going to be really intense. So what can you do now to make it easier? If you can find an hour to write down all the little things you need to do that you know will contribute to a sense of overwhelm, maybe you can check some of those things off now, or at least feel like you have a better grasp on when and how they’ll get done once fall rolls around.

One thing Cal Newport said in the episode that I think about all the time: “You can't slow down when you don't actually see the track ahead of you, or you don't have your hands on the wheel.”

It’s so, so important to zoom out so you can better understand where this overwhelm, burnout, and feeling of “not having enough time” is actually coming from. Speaking from what I’ve heard from experts and experienced myself, those little tasks that hang over us—school forms, making doctor’s appointments, the list goes on—can contribute to overwhelm when so many of those tasks can be knocked off your list in a few hours.

Here’s hoping you get some time back this month so you head into September feeling refreshed.

Question for all of you: What’s one summer ritual that makes the season feel more “festive” for you, and different from the other seasons—even if it isn’t a big vacation or extended time off from work?

"I'm having the worst summer ever"

Comments