Before you decide that this post is about basketball – and maybe you don’t care for basketball – and plan to bounce, I invite you to stay and hear me out. If you care for basketball, then perhaps my title made you think of Steph Curry, who was the subject of a documentary film called, Underrated. I have a deep, abiding love for Steph Curry, not only for how well he plays basketball, but for the kind of human being he is off the court too. But I digress, because the point guard on my mind is, of course, Jalen Brunson.
Like my fellow Knicks fans, I’ve been watching Brunson come from behind – as the greatest clutch player in history – to seal wins for years now. I’ve sat in the Garden in awe of the way this man – naturally left-handed and small by basketball standards – will shift hands to his right, out-maneuvering much bigger players and make baskets that are completely improbable. The 45 points he scored in game 5 were inevitable . . . maybe not that fateful night in San Antonio when he led the Knicks to the championship, but because this reflects his consistency. And when the game buzzer sounded, Jalen Brunson did the most respectful thing possible: he walked over to the Spurs head coach and hugged him. He then tried to shake hands with the Spurs players, most of whom had already walked off the court.
I understand the emotions of losing. I understand that sometimes facing our hardest moments in a public way must be incredibly challenging. But win or lose, Jalen Brunson has always acted with a kind of dignity and decency that is indicative of one thing: self-respect. He was asked by the press after the game, why the first thing he did was acknowledge his opponents and his response was everything, “That’s how I was raised.” I won’t go into Brunson’s backstory, as that’s easily accessible online, but I will say, that the foundations of self-respect are laid by our parents, reinforced by schools, coaches, and organizations, and ultimately upheld by how we conduct ourselves over the course of our lifetime. Jalen Brunson was taught self-respect at the earliest stages and as a result, he is a reflection of what that can achieve in the world, as well as how to conduct oneself in relationship to others.
Self-respect is in short supply these days.
Yes, you can say I’m generalizing here, but I want to point out that social media and the use of AI is making it abundantly clear that this is a startling truth. (I won’t even touch on politics, as that’s so blatant, it doesn’t need examination.) When we can’t show up to produce more than slop, this is a reflection of how we feel about our unique abilities. When all our online effort is purely attention-seeking, we haven’t learned to respect the time of others, by valuing our own. When we disrespect the work of others – through theft and/or alteration of their craft – this is indicative of how we feel about doing the hard work ourselves. All respect starts within.
Self-respect is reflected through our dignity. Self-respect is demonstrated as decency towards others. Respecting ourselves, we know that disrespecting others makes us small. We’re present enough to our own feelings, to respect the inner struggles of others. Knowing the effort and energy we invest in what we create, we never belittle the efforts of others. Self-respect is reinforced by the intention with which we move through the world, striving to be impeccable in all things. We don’t have to agree with or like what we encounter, but our engagement should be a reflection of our capacity to treat others as fundamentally worthy. And if we find ourselves in a position to influence the world in any way, our dignity, decency, excellence, and kindness should always be what inspires others to invest in us.
Heroes are in short supply these days.
What are we teaching our children? I’ve seen lots of parents abdicate their responsibilities to devices, both by example and by allowing their children far too much access. Our children learn first and foremost by watching us, so if we aren’t treating ourselves and others with respect, there’s no way they’re learning that valuable lesson. But, parenting in the age of social media and AI, requires a hands-on approach.
My son learned to love being outside, because I carried him on early morning hikes from the time he was born until he was 30 pounds and he was ready to run on his own. And run he did, straight into 13 years on a soccer pitch. But, I didn’t just encourage being outside away from devices, we talked about his work ethic; his commitment to playing a team sport and what that meant for how much intention and effort he had to bring. We talked about the self-respect we foster when we love ourselves and we do what we love. And these conversations have never stopped. My son and I discussed the Spurs behavior after their loss; the way their star player navigated his post-game press conference.
When we talk about social media and AI, the conversation is about limiting access and I don’t disagree. But can we also talk about the quality of content and the messages conveyed? Can we also talk about the ways parents need to be engaging in discussions that feel so crucial at a time when the world we inhabit is bombarded by more information than we can digest, let alone filter for quality? We’re all responsible for shaping our human future. And right now, I worry there aren’t enough public figures like Jalen Brunson to create balance in favor of self-respect. I worry that the influential messages largely reject self-respect. If we don’t value ourselves, no one else will. What does that future look like? Sadly, it isn’t a stretch to imagine.
☀️💛☀️ Celebrate the Sun ☀️💛☀️
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I was recently a guest on the We’re All Psychic podcast, with Lisa Rusczyk and Dona Murphy. Lisa does palmistry, so this conversation touched on some of the similarities and differences with hand analysis. Watch it on YouTube or listen on Spotify or Apple Podcasts
It’s my purpose and joy to help you align with your purpose and joy! 💫 How are you faring? My life feels so full with transformation, it leaves me breathless most days . . . but miraculous things await on the other side of our willingness to surrender what no longer serves and step fully into what wants to coalesce for a more fulfilling future. I’m here for it fully! How about you? If I can support you, reach out or book some quality time with me.
With love from my whole being,
Lisa 💋❤️
P.S. A number of you have inquired whether I’m feeling homesick, given Knicks mania, thank you! 💙🧡 Yes!!! I can’t believe I watched the Knicks on my computer alone in the wee hours of the morning, all the while not being able to celebrate what has become collective joy in NYC. But, I’m feeling incredibly grateful that my son has been there through all of this, sharing videos of his overnight celebrations with friends, his front row spot for the parade (he and a friend got up at 4 am!), and the elation of sharing his high school graduation with this historic time in the city. He’s been having the time of his life . . . and I’ve been living vicariously through his joy. 💫 As I post this, I will be back in the city in a few weeks and my heart feels like a weight is lifting. ❤️🩹
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