Five Things That Are Worth My Money

Last week, I was on holiday in Crete with my family and my daughter Ella brought out a list of Bingo Card ‘things we will do this year’ subjects that we had listed out when we were away at Christmas, to see how many we had completed. I have to be honest and say that I was pretty damn pleased with how mine was going so far, considering it was currently only August. When the list was written, I had been a newly single person for only three months and things to achieve in the coming year wasn’t feeling like a priority; I was more invested in how to get out of my marriage as quickly as possible without recruiting a hitman to dispose of my estranged husband than I was in setting personal goals.

Anyway, we all wrote a list and when I looked back at mine, there were quite a few things that could be ticked. Well, almost ticked anyway. Finish the house (if I can get my act in gear, I’ll have just one shower room to renovate after Christmas and my work here will be done); read twelve books (currently at eight, there’s still time); do Pilates once a week (fuming about this one as I hurt my ankle and have been out of exercise action for four weeks - THWARTED); go on holiday four times (yep, this will be nailed by December); spend money on my skin (tick, tick and triple tick); go on a date (does a garden centre coffee shop count?) and write a book (in the words of Doris Day, perhaps, perhaps, perhaps). Four months to go and I have high hopes that I’ll be able to yell ‘FULL HOUSE’ once the year is up.

I wrote last week about going on holiday with adult children and how joyous it was to be able to please yourself, rather than when they are small and your entire break is spent making sure that they’re happy. When your kids are older, they don’t expect to be amused, they’re great company, they’re happy to go at their own pace (in fact, they are VERY good at going at their own pace, ha) and they don’t have any expectations of you. We didn’t have any massive plans, we made last minute decisions to do things, it was madly easy. This time, it felt even more transformative as I holidayed with my kids but without a husband, meaning that I really did have only myself to think about.

One of the small things that I really enjoyed was taking my book and going for a late breakfast in a quiet restaurant alone. Coffee, toast, some olive and tomato paste and utter peace. Honestly, it was amazing. I can entirely see the appeal of going on a solo break and will be adding that to my 2027 list for sure. You know, just to see what it’s like.

Anyway, we had the best family time, although it certainly wasn’t a budget break. I had several discussions with friends about this - I had saved the money to pay for the entire break and didn’t ask my kids for any contribution, because I didn’t want it. As your kids get older, the amount of time that you spend as a family diminishes and so when you DO get to be together, it’s worth it. I mean, it wasn’t all sunshine and roses, obvs. Ella and I sharing a bed (albeit a super king) for an entire week was a brave move, mostly because seven day, 24 hour proximity for a mother and daughter equates to asking for trouble. But I will never stop wanting to take my kids away, no matter how old they are. Even when they have jobs and can afford to pay for themselves. If I can afford to do it, I’ll do it. I mean, if I can’t, then I won’t. But that family time for me is worth every single penny.

Ella told me about a TikTok trend where you list five things that are worth your money. Five things that you will always pay extra for, invest your hard earned cash in and laugh in the face of anyone who tries to convince you otherwise. So I thought I’d list five things - family holidays aside - alongside five things that are NOT worth my money. Tell me what you agree with and disagree with below and add your own to the comments!

This is my absolute must have. I have only skied once and that was on the school trip back in 1987 to Lake Garda. We went up the mountain to blizzard conditions, the boots were uncomfortable, my socks got wet and I fell off the ski lift every single day. In fact, I never left the nursery slope. The redeeming feature was the apri ski evening Snowballs where the barman left it to the 16 year old guests to tell him when to stop with the Advocaat. I swore then I would never go on a cold holiday again and readers, I never have. If I can’t wear shorts, then I’m not going there. Also, it needs to be in a different country. This isn’t just for the sunshine; this is because I like to go places which are totally different from my every day life. I can get tapas in a York restaurant, but it won’t be the same as ordering fresh gambas in a little restaurant overlooking the sea and this is a fact. I will never, ever object to spending money on holidays. Not ever.

For example, Fast Track Passes at the airport. £6 can save you an hours queue. Car parking in a place that doesn’t mean you have to get on a shuttle bus with your suitcase. And airport lounges. Okay, so these might SOUND pricey but you get it all for free - most of the time you’ll get your money back in food and drink PLUS a comfortable seat and somewhere to plug in your phone. And if you’re delayed for an hour, you’re definitely quids in (PSA: I recently took out an Amex card because I got a free Priority Pass four times a year and discount for guests and it didn’t cost me a penny). Ditto the most decent seats at a concert, cinema or a theatre production. If I can’t see anything, then what’s the point of spending the money to start with. I’d rather take my own sweets and only go to one show a year than get cheap seats and go regularly.

Also known as, not buying stuff to fill a hole in your decor. Whether it be a vase, a door knob or a coffee table, I will find what I love and buy the closest to my ideal that I can afford. This might be expensive, this might not be expensive. But I will not buy for the hell of it. This also applies to lighting. I’d rather buy one amazing table lamp than four that ‘do the job’ for the same price and live in semi darkness until I can afford another. See also: artwork. If I see a piece of artwork I love, I will sell or save until I can buy it. Same with good vintage. Unless I am entirely sure that I can refurbish it to the right standard myself, I will scour eBay and FBM until I find something that’s exactly what I want. It’s worth the investment for the joy that these things will bring you in the future and this, my friends, is a fact.

You can agree or disagree with me here, but spending money on beauty stuff is my kryptonite. It doesn’t have to be super expensive - I’m just as happy to buy a Lacura moisturiser than I am a Lancome, but plastering product on my face makes me very happy. Also, nails. And hair. Good nail technicians, good hairdressers. If I am feeling good about myself, then everything else falls into place. I have had some shocking hairdressing experiences in the past (PTSD from a terrible haircut my mother took me to when I was 10 where they cut my hair into a Kevin Keegan circa 1975 mullet) so now, I stick to the same one all the time and book it in regularly. Facials and massages, whenever I can afford it. It’s all about balance - relaxation and rejuvenation can be transformative to a bad day. And finally, aesthetic treatments. I’ve been known to spend the cost of a short mini break on these - if I feel comfortable in my skin and it’s looking good, then it’s a huge mood booster.

So there are several things around my house that I can do myself from a DIY point of view, but I do not do them well. I can paint a wall, but I cannot cut in around corners or get a straight line in the same way as a professional can. I once tiled a bar unit in my previous home, but couldn’t get the tile cutter working properly and had to call someone in to finish it. Tiling is a great example of how I CAN do it, but I am shit at it and I won’t do a good job. So I’d rather cut back on other things and get people who are skilled and experienced in making my house look good than do it myself and balls it up. And believe me, I have ballsed it up MANY times before. I’m about to hang a plate wall in my kitchen in an awkward place and I can’t use tap nails as the plates are too heavy - I’ll employ a handyman for two hours to get his drill and leveller out and it’ll be worth every single penny.

I’ve been to some of these in the past and I never come away feeling as though they’re worth it. 22 years ago, we went to The Fat Duck in Bray which is owned by Heston Blumenthal with my then husband and at the time, it was £30 for a glass of wine. 22 YEARS AGO. We didn’t have a lot of money at the time and it was a massive treat, but the cost of it woke me from nightmares for months afterwards (at the time it was the same cost as our monthly mortgage). It was quite wild - one course was a grassy football field and the finale was a map of Scotland dotted with whiskey gummies. Don’t get me wrong - the experience of going to a fabulous restaurant is always wonderful and I know that you’re paying for the skill of the chefs and the produce that you’re presented with, but it’s never worth the drama in my head afterwards whirling around how much it costs. Also, I object to paying £18 for a glass of Minuty when I can buy an entire bottle in Waitrose for £16. I like cooking, I can make a good meal at home for ten friends for the same price as a dinner for two.

I have learned my lesson the hard way with this one, heading to the garden centre and filling my trolley with pricey plants that I have no idea how to care for, sending them direct to their deaths the minute that they enter my home. My friend Karen and I once went to The Range to discover they had discounted their olive trees and outdoor yukkas so we spent over £100 and stuck them in the car, only to plant them and kill them all within a month because we didn’t know how to care for them. Olives, I have realised, look the part but are not really suitable for life in Yorkshire. I once had a photo shoot at my home so visited the local garden centre where I bought a massive olive tree for £350 (sob) which filled the enclosed courtyard. It looked great, but before long I realised it was not a fan of the courtyard and moved it out to the open garden, where it died. Worst investment ever (for me). So now, I stick to basic plants that I know I can keep alive, or buy them from Lidl.

I have never bought one of these but in fairness, I have had a lot of new cars over the years for short periods of time due to the fact that my ex husband works in the motor industry. However, apart from the fact that they smell really good, I could NEVER see the point of putting shed loads of cash in just because no one else has ever got in it before. For many years, my dream car was a vintage 1980’s convertible Mercedes which I never got, but my dreams were partially realised three years ago when I bought a twelve year old one that ticked the box. It’s so old that it still has a clock with hands and the sat nav doesn’t recognise most modern roundabouts, or the Victoria Centre in Leeds when I go to park there, but I love it so much. Even though when it snows the water leaks through the roof and I have to have towels on the seats, I still love it. I take the roof down when the temperature gets above 17 degrees and it doesn’t go back up again until October. New cars? No thank you.

I said last week that I have a very limited liquid intake but one thing that I cannot consider is faffy drinks. Matcha is the beverage of Satan, smoothies are like drinking cold grainy custard and iced coffees are inexplicable to me. Also, any hot drink that comes in flavours or with cream or sprinkles or is called a Frappucino or a Vanilla Protein Matcha Latte or ANY OF THAT SHIT. I would rather cut off my own head than pay £6.50 for a drink that professes to be a protein hit topped with white scuzzy foam. BLEURGH. Give me a black coffee from my own coffee maker and that’s it.

Yes, yes, I know that these are popular but I will never be spending my hard earned cash on them. I blame Instagram entirely for the popularity of these signs - ten years ago, you’d not see a single home without one on your feed - but they have gone the way of all trends and are now relegated solidly into the interior equivalent of Room 101. You know the ones I mean. Live, Laugh, Love. This Kitchen Is For Dancing. This House Loves Dogs. It’s Always Time For Wine. Life Isn’t About Waiting For The Storm To Pass, It’s About Learning To Dance In The Rain. Go Confidently In The Direction Of Your Dreams. Or the classic, It’s Wine O’Clock. CS Lewis and Winnie The Poo quotes. Sigh. I mean, all of these are nice thoughts but better off remaining in your head than being engraved in italics on a faux piece of driftwood and hung above your patio doors.

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