This The Metamorphosis Map, where I explore change in life and at work, through the lenses of my passions: travel, sketching, culture, nature and learning.
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You don’t have to be a certain age, single or retired to be a free spirit. It is possible to travel with a family, as I found out.
Read my earlier articles on essential skills, and our top priority, health.
This article focuses on our second priority, education.
Being a parent has made me reflect on education, and question my assumptions. Attending schools in three countries gave our children a variety of educational experiences with different curricula, standards and approaches.
We have spent an inordinate amount of time and money on finding the “best” solution for our children. We are aware of how lucky we have been to have had choices.
There have been many ups and downs, and success has depended on all our efforts, not only institutions.
It was sobering to live in a country where access to and quality of education are not guaranteed. The opportunities education can provide and the result of a lack thereof are clear to see. We met children living in precarious circumstances who were clever and resourceful. But without specific training and education, it was difficult for them to thrive.
For us, local school was not an option. The language would have been a big issue, but also culture. The school system was rigid and traditional. On top of that, boys’ hair had to be short. Which would not have suited our son.
We considered the French school, which was near our house. The chance to become bilingual was attractive. I love the French language and culture. But we wondered whether the rigorous, standardized approach would suit us. Also, the playground was bare concrete.
Finally, we settled on an international school, taught in English. It has a swimming pool and large, shady outdoor play area. Building physical, creative, social and emotional skills was more important than academics in the early years.
When my son said he didn’t want to go to lessons, we switched to home schooling for a year. He still attended the after-school programme and kept in touch with his friends.
I was consulting and running a small fashion business at the time. But I managed to focus on art, English and maths for a couple of hours every day. Reading and discussing the Harry Potter series became the cornerstone of our curriculum.
Even though he was very young, I took the role seriously and read up a lot about homeschooling. John Holt was an inspiration. It can be a controversial subject, but I saw the appeal and potential benefits.
Ultimately, my son chose to go back to school when we moved to Europe, and he thrived back in a classroom with more competition. But it did make me question automatically following a single prescribed educational route.
One of the main reasons for moving to Serbia was for a more comfortable climate and space to run around We considered local schools. But aside from the language, the educational culture provided challenges.
In the Balkans it is usual to go to school only in the morning or the afternoon. Sometimes to alternate between the two. There is also a focus on rote learning and adhering to specific text books. Since school hours are shorter, there tends to be a lot of homework.
Joining a new school, especially as a foreigner, is a big challenge. We were aware of how much change our children had to deal with. They were following our dreams, not their own. Ideally, they would have slotted into local schools, learned the language and adapted to the system. But we never knew how long we were going to stay in one place.
International schools gave them a familiar structure and culture wherever we traveled. Students join and leave every year - even mid-term. Different languages, cultures, ethnicities and religions are normal. They could talk about when they lived in another country without classmates rolling their eyes. Of course, we paid for that privilege.
They learned the Serbian language in clubs outside of school. My daughter became fluent without a single lesson. She enjoyed listening to and copying her friends at ballet, three times a week.
We thought we found the perfect compromise in Slovenia. A public school with an international section . The chance to mix with more local children and improve language skills naturally.
The first shock was linguistic. Slovenian is totally different from Serbian. Only a few words are the same. Although both are Slavic languages with cases systems, you cannot speak one and be understood by the other. We all needed lessons.
But English was also problematic. Most Slovenians speak English extremely well. But teaching native speakers at secondary level is demanding. The French school was interesting. But it did not have enough secondary-age students to arrange full classes.
The Slovenian educational culture was also unfamiliar. School felt more like a college with shorter hours, different every day. Students appeared to come and go as they pleased. I knew families whose children loved it, but not ours.
Our children appreciated freedom in discussion and creativity. But they preferred a more prescriptive environment. They actually liked longer days, fixed hours, stricter rules, and more tests.
Even the uniform felt comfortable, although it attracted a lot of stares on the bus. Schools in Slovenia don’t have uniforms and children usually only wear them to dress up as Harry Potter characters.
Most children complain about school at some point. We can view it as an obligatory construct, with an arbitrary curriculum and questionable motives and value. But also as a marvellous opportunity to learn, grow and make friends. The right environment and teachers set children up for success and provide a lifetime of inspiration.
But education is also big business. Private schools offer the “best” quality from cradle to adulthood. But there’s a hefty price tag and it doesn’t always represent value. Even non fee-paying schools sometimes ask for donations or contributions in the form of books and materials.
Online institutions and resources can provide further choice, often free or cheaper. But the quality is not guaranteed, and you need to devote time to research. Education requires an investment, both of money and time.
Our children started off in a private international school in Cambodia. And they ended up in one in Slovenia. Between, they tested a public/private and an online school. They tried Montessori, International Baccalaureat and finally settled on the British system of iGCSEs and A-levels. They attended a dozen schools between them. They are nothing if not adaptable.
If you are planning to live as a family abroad, here are some general tips gleaned from our experiences and experiments:
Be prepared to spend a good deal of time and potentially money on education;
Balance long-term thinking with spontaneity and reacting to conditions on the ground;
Consider educational culture as well as curriculum and language;
Factor in proximity to school for walking and making local friends;
Bear in mind that the younger they are, the easier is may be to adapt;
But remember each child is unique and check school provisions for various needs and preferences;
Try to minimise change for teens building strong relationships and preparing for important exams; and
Focus on your child’s well-being above all other considerations (everyone learns best when they feel good).
We’ve concluded that being happy - or at least content and certainly not miserable - at school counts the most. Academic results may be more or less important, depending on your child’s skills, ambitions and passions. But they should not override everything else.
Money can help, but the most important resources are time and energy to support children’s learning. Parents who are able and willing to provide opportunities for learning outside school add a great deal of value with discussions, bedtime stories and exposure to a range of experiences.
Above all, feeling safe, having fun and making friends while learning are vital, at any school anywhere.
Life is a journey and everyone’s map looks different.🗺️
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