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I’m writing the first draft of this post sitting in a London pub with a cold pint of oyster stout after a whole week of life drawing at the Slade School of Fine Arts.

This year I turned 36. For some time I have been feeling that I need a change. I think in the past year or so I truly understood what midlife crisis means for a woman (turns out, it hits women a bit earlier than men). We spend our lives being the default care givers. From a very young age it is expected from us to give, to care, to provide comfort and love, but not so much to receive, and carving out some space only for yourself has always been a tricky thing.

At a certain point there comes a moment when a woman needs things only for herself - space, time, experiences, and, in case of artists - their creative practice. My response to this feeling of need for change was like from a book on midlife crisis: a tattoo, new piercing, denying the existence of bras, buying all glittery make up I could get my hands on, going to a Metallica concert and going on a solo art trip to London. It was specifically a solo trip, because I wanted to fully immerse myself into the experience, to soak in the vibe of the city and 100% devote myself to my art.

It hasn’t been an easy year for me so far, so the need for carving out more space for myself was really urgent. One of my annual art goals this year was to go on a solo art trip, and I didn’t know exactly how it would look like, but I knew that it should be London. Sometimes I get this feeling that a place is calling me in some way and I can’t get rid of this thought. Of course it’s not always possible to go, the last time I was in London was 7 years ago, even though I love the city and always wanted to come back. I always say that travel is a huge privilege that not everyone has and I am beyond grateful that this whole endeavor worked out.

When I started searching for potential art classes in London I didn’t know what it was that I wanted from a short course, but then the life drawing class offered during Slade Summer School caught my attention. I am working more on my human drawing skills and it looked like the perfect opportunity to practice, challenge myself and go out of my comfort zone. I also researched a bit about the instructor, Andy Pankhurst, and enjoyed his style of work, so I decided to give it a try and booked the course.

Fast forward to August and this course has been one of the most rewarding and challenging things I did for my art so far.

Five full days of life drawing from different (absolutely amazing) models focusing each day on different aspects of drawing and using a variety of materials and techniques is not an easy undertaking, but so worth it. We focused on proportions, shape and form, colour and temperature, movement and rhythm, and ways to craft a composition that works. On the first day I felt completely overwhelmed and made a lot of rubbish, but each day I gained more and more confidence.

Life drawing compared to drawing from photos is a completely different exercise and it challenges your brain on a whole different level. The focus is not on knowing the average proportions and constructing from that knowledge, instead you are focusing on your perception here and now and adjust as you go until things work out on the paper. Time is limited, so you have to think fast.

Main takeaway from this experience - surprise, surprise - practice does indeed make perfect. By the end of the week I felt so much better with my eye hand coordination, gained a better understanding of drawing the human figure, and came up with new ideas on how I personally want to move forward with the subject.

I think the most important thing I got from the course was not only gaining a better perspective on my art practice, but also meeting a community of lovely artists who all came to the course with different agendas and expectations. The whole group consisted of 17 people and we were sharing our goals, works-in-progress, doubts and cheering each other on when facing a particularly long and challenging pose. On the very first day I got to know a couple of women older than me and we sticked together for the week, discussing our aspirations during lunch and supporting each other’s work during the long studio hours.

I returned to making art only at 29 after a long break, so now being in my mid thirties I often feel that I “lost” the critical years needed for building skills and finding the direction in my art, but talking to these amazing women made me realize that it truly is never too late. Each decade of life brings its own joys, freedoms and breakthroughs (and challenges of course). Only the experience of life with all its ups and down helps you to develop the deep reflection skills needed to gain a better perspective on what’s truly important, which in turn feeds into your creative practice.

This gave me a lot of optimism for the future, which is quite a rarity in our time and age when it seems that so many things are falling apart and hope is scarce.

Life will inevitably lead you to different places, both making you happy and disappointed at different times, but the show must go on.

Finding time for your practice will help with growing your skills, and giving yourself space for reflection is crucial for understanding your own creative voice.

Art is for everyone and it is a healing practice no matter your skill level or experience. I encourage you to use all the opportunities you might have to join classes, courses, and groups of like minded people - both offline or online. It truly makes a difference to surround yourself with a community of fellow creatives and submerge yourself in the endless flow of creativity.

I returned home with more confidence and optimism about my art than I had in a long time, and also with tons of ideas for future work.

Stay tuned as they say :)

Walked 15+ km each evening enjoying the energy of the city
Squeezed in 100 museums and was continually amazed at all the beauty humans can create
Managed to fit in a day trip to Oxford to visit the Blackwells bookstore (and buy books) and the amazing Ashmolean museum
Went to the Abbey Road crossing like a proper tourist
Went to platform 9 3/4 and got myself some HP stuff🤓
Walked past a youtuber I know and tried to behave normally
Had English breakfast, well, for breakfast
Tried pie and mash and fish and chips for the first time
Tried an energy drink I have seen on YouTube and it does really energize you (may be a tad too much)
Tried locally brewed beers (oyster stout at the Porterhouse was my absolute fav)
Found Paddington
Visited multiple old bookstores and seriously considered moving into one of them
Made a million videos with double-decker buses and cabs
Met with a former student of mine which seemed like a flashback from a past life
Walked into a cyberpunk clothing shop with a full-blown techno party with DJs and all at 3 pm (Cyberdog at Camden Market if you are interested)
Got a scare because of the wild fire alert from the government (I had to endure the alarm sound three times because I was moving across the city)

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Studio Notes: London Calling

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