It’s dawned on me that where i make my home inevitably becomes a big part of my identity. Is that weird?
I felt this way when i lived in New York and i feel it almost tenfold now that i dwell in the countryside.
Is it because i’m a Taurus and my life revolves around nesting and seeking comfort? Or because i left my native country and i subconsciously need to maintain a firm grip on some sense of belonging?
The answer eludes me, but i’m not mad at how this has shaken out.
While one might say it could make for unhealthy sentimental ties to a physical place, i think it’s instilled in me the mission to make my home a true reflection of who John and i are. A space that feels collected, thoughtful, and deeply personal.
It’s also led me to organically build my “personal brand” around my home and the lifestyle it has set in motion.
This past April marked four years of living in our house, affectionately and meaningfully coined Heathland from the very beginning. Sure, it’s our family name, but it also means wild, natural, untapped land. It felt right.
During this springtime anniversary, I shared a photo carousel about our story, along with a Q&A prompt, but i never got around to answering the questions that came through due to my aforementioned challenges.
So, dear reader, as we get reacquainted (or simply acquainted) here on Substack, i’m going to address them right here. The process of moving, buying a home, changing your life around, remodeling, updating, gardening, maintenance, etc, is a JOURNEY—ALL CAPS, and I hope these can shed a little bit of light on it.
Without further delay—
Q: How old is your house and how many acres? Do you have a veggie garden?
A: The oldest part of our house was built circa 1740, with a “modern” addition added around 1820. An oldie that stands on 13 acres. No veggie garden, and no desire to start one either! There are so many amazing farms and farmers around that i’d rather support than endeavor (and fail) to grow my own.
Q: Where did you find all your beautiful rugs for this home?
A: A few of them moved with us from NYC, but we’ve made some very incredible additions since moving:
Our bedroom rug was made custom by Salam Hello (read more about it here). Can’t recommend the experience enough. We’d get photo updates straight from the loom, it was amazing.
Our showstopper of a dining room rug is from local dealer Upstate Rug Supply — she has the most wonderful selection.
A small guy in the landing was sourced at Frances Loom.
The sisal entryway runner (seen here in the opening scene) is from Armadillo.
And finally, I have a few small guys from Etsy and other random French brocante finds.
Q: Do you still keep a place in the city?
A: No, we do not. It would be amazing to have, but it’s not in the realm of possibility at the moment.
Q: Do you use voice assistance in your home (like Alexa)?
A: No, we do not. I wouldn’t mind saying “hey google, turn off all the lights” given the volume of lamps we have, but John is vehemently against it.
Q: How do you dress differently now that you don’t live in nyc?
A: Quite frankly, very differently. Not only out of lifestyle changes, but also out of vibe shifting. I have some pieces that i will save specifically for city trips or vice versa. My New York style is of course much sharper and more polished, while my outfits at home lean either country/floaty or utilitarian.
Although if i’m being VERY honest, i’m in loungewear most of the time because i rarely leave my house.
Q: What are some advantages of renovating an old home vs buying a brand new home?
A: This is a really interesting question because i think it entirely depends on the kind of person you are, your needs, what you’re willing to put up with, and your taste. Our apartment in Brooklyn was a modern white box and while amenities were a nice-to-have, i really struggled with decor because it’s just not my style.
I’d say there are very few advantages of buying an old home other than—without sounding too woowoo—if you feel compelled to be a steward, and if you’re called by a place’s soul and vibes. Something is always in need of repair, you’ll add three new projects on your list for each one you cross off, and you’ll be repeatedly humbled every time you realize that you most certainly are not in control.
BUT!
I wouldn’t have it any other way. You can’t compare the beauty of period details, feeling like you own a little piece of history. There’s something really special about trying to do all of it justice.
Q: How do you cope with the long, gray winters upstate?
A: Real talk: the winters are hard. It’s consistently overcast yet it doesn't snow like it used to, so everything is grey and brown. No one wants to leave their house because it’s too cold, making it feel very lonely… The seasonal blues is very much a thing to contend with.
I’ve found the best solution is to have a couple of getaways booked for early February, and again in early-to-mid March, to have something to look forward to. One of the trips should be to a warm climate for maximal endorphin replenishment.
This strategy has really worked in turning those eternal January weeks upside down because you’re anticipating to leave and then happy to come back.
Q: I’m new. Love your content! Do not mean to overstep, do you have children?
A: While this has nothing to do with my house or where i live, this question doesn’t bother me one bit because this is a personal choice and not a forced one.
I do not have children, nor do i plan on having them, nor have i ever planned on having them. I have 3 (soon to be 4!) nephews and one niece, who are the loves of my life. This fulfills me immensely, along with my husband, dogs, and the beautiful life i’ve created. I feel extremely fortunate that this is the path i was able to choose for myself, before even finding out that pregnancy could never medically be in the cards for me anyway.
Q: What piqued your interest and curiosity about leaving the city? Heathland is one unique place.
A: I wholeheartedly agree and so happy you think so too. To be frank, i never thought i’d leave the city. In fact, we were in the middle of refinancing our apartment when we reversed course to get a whole new mortgage instead.
It was early covid and along with everyone else, we started questioning all of our life choices. John had been “done” with city life for a very long time, but never thought moving anywhere else was realistic, mainly because of work and me. A lot of our friends were leaving and the reality of our daily life was evolving…
Call it a moment of weakness, but he convinced me that it was a good idea, and we started poking around. I remained skeptical until we stepped foot onto the property we now own, and i immediately got it—i saw the vision, i understood the feeling, i felt viscerally that we had found our place.
Q: Biggest change you felt moving out of the city?
A: A few things come to mind besides the obvious space, quiet, and air quality. The biggest one being the car thing—I don’t live in town, so every single time i want to go somewhere, a vehicle is required. I’ve never lived this way in my entire life, so that was a huge adjustment.
Then there were business hours to contend with: most establishments are closed Monday-Wednesday, including restaurants—not all of them, thankfully, but early week is very limited. Takeout is also a challenge. We only have a couple of options, which get old fast if you’re ordering weekly.
Then there’s the social thing. People have a different socializing rhythm here than in the city, and as a person with a once very jam-packed calendar of social events, it took me a second to adjust. I also love a buzzy energy in the air, aka the polar oposite of where we landed. That was probably the thing that took the longest for me to navigate and find myself through.
Q: Could you ever move back to the city?
A: I think i could. I’m not one of those people who feels like they’d have a really hard time re-adjusting to city life, but i would rather not. In an ideal world, we’d keep an apartment there and i could bop in and out at my leisure, without having to worry about the dogs and the ability to leave a toothbrush.
Sometimes i miss certain things about the city, like the energy and the diversity and the convenience. But i find that if i’m there more than a few days, i get overstimulated and tired of schlepping… and ironically just want to come back to my car—the irony!
Q: How did you choose [the] Hudson Valley?
A: It’s long been a region near and dear to John and i. His family had a cottage here growing up, where he spent most of his summers since he was 5 years old. By default, it also became my second home when we got together.
With my family in Montréal and the easy access to New York City from our town, it geographically made the most sense. Then lots of other important-to-us factors were: close to a train line, good food scene, well-kept architecture, lively communities with shared values, and plenty of fun activity options.
Q: How did you choose Hudson? Thinking of retiring Upstate as well.
A: A little known fact to most people who are unfamiliar with the area: the Hudson River Valley is quite a large region. Some towns are 2 hours apart, and you have two very different sides of the river to choose from: the west side is more mountainous and hippy, while the east side has more farmland and old money. Both are wonderful but the vibes are completely different—and you feel the shift as soon as you cross those bridges.
Out of all the towns in the Hudson Valley, Hudson’s long been our favorite. It’s historic and so well preserved, the variety in shops and restaurants is truly staggering for a town of 6,000 people, the train station is right there, and it’s close to the Berkshires in Massachusetts and Connecticut’s Litchfield County.
When we moved here back in the spring of 2021, we knew the windows would need to be addressed sometime in the near future. The sashes and mullions were painted in a lovely dark green, but they were chipping off and had began rotting.
We put it off until our insurance made it clear we needed to prioritize this project, and last summer (2024) I started the process of choosing a color.
I decided to paint the frames too, because why not? Figured i’d jazz things up, and they could always be painted over if i didn’t like it. We landed on a gorgeous old world smoky green—Farrow & Ball’s Green Smoke—that paired really nicely with our green fence. I felt it would add to the whimsicality of the property while maintaining a heritage look.
I’m SO pleased with how they turned out. The house wears its new color so well, looking ever so fanciful with the plant beds at peak, blooms sitting pretty against the green. But i’m excited for the winter interest, too. I think the pop of color on the house during those bleak months will make a big difference.
So without further delay, i give you the before and after. I hope you love it as much as i do.
There she is, sitting majestically monochrome. What you can’t see: the paint chipping off, alligator skin on every sash, and the rotting wood, especially on the left side of the house, which gets hammered with hours of full afternoon sun.
What I initially thought would be a simple paint job escalated quickly (old house problems, iykyk)… It turned out to be quite the restoration endeavor.
Each window had to be fully stripped because of both the alligator skin and rot. Half the sashes required attention, which also meant replacing half the panes that were shattered off in the process. Luckily, we have a spot that specializes in old glass and were able to keep this important-to-me detail. I’d rather freeze to death than replace these old windows and get rid of the wavy glass.
If you’re in the Hudson Valley, i would only trust one guy with this very delicate, detailed job: L.A. Painting. The best of the best.
Can’t tell you how pleased i am with the results. It’s the perfect color that i know will age beautifully. It looks absolutely gorgeous with the fence and flowers, not only fitting in with the property, but fully adding to its whimsical, magical vibe.
Just for funsies.
Very excited for the winter interest!
Hope you’ve enjoyed this little-yet-long-in-the-works update and have had a question or two answered about transitioning from city life to the countryside.
À bientôt,
Hélène
Thanks for reading Life Well! This post is public so feel free to share it.
Comments
Nothing yet. Say the first thing.
Sign in to join the conversation.