Why Manifesting Your Goals Might Not Make You Happier

At 12 years old, Dr. James Doty was asked to write down everything he wanted. Like any 12-year-old would, he wished for a Rolex. A Porsche. A mansion overlooking the ocean. A million dollars in his pocket.

By his 30s, he had achieved everything on that list. He told me it was one of the emptiest moments of his life.

I think most of us assume our problem in life is that we haven’t hit our goals yet. If we could only just start the business, reach our goal weight, and book the vacation, then we’d be happy, right?

The late Dr. James Doty was a brilliant Stanford neurosurgeon and neuroscientist who taught me that our real problems usually start long before we put a goal up on a vision board.

He called what he’d been chasing “hedonic happiness,” pleasure aimed at filling a hole rather than serving a purpose. It works for a minute. Then the hole is still there.

It comes down to what state you create your goals from.

The problem was that when James was 12, he was growing up in poverty and with a ton of traumatic childhood issues, so the goals he wrote were rooted in fear rather than love.

Fear and love aren’t just feelings, he told me. They’re two different states in your nervous system.

Fear activates your sympathetic nervous system, which is the system that narrows your options and keeps you scanning for danger.

Love activates your parasympathetic nervous system, which is the system where your creativity, memory, and clear thinking actually live.

You can’t attract the life you want from a place of fear.

Many of my past goals were rooted in fear. I shared that same quick dopamine hit and then fleeting, empty feeling Dr. Doty explained.

When I sit down to think about the goals I now want to manifest and achieve, I focus on making sure it’s coming from a place of love. I’ve quickly realized how much more peaceful and enjoyable it is.

What goals are currently on your vision board? After reading this, do you need to change them?

If you’re ready to create your dream reality, you will love the full conversation with the late Dr. James Doty.​

Can’t wait to hear what resonated with you,

Lewis