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Hey! I’m Tim Barnes; it’s Wednesday in America, and here are FIVE JOKES!
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Trump says U.S. and Canada reached deal to delay 50% U.S. tariffs on Canadian imports. In entertainment news, that means at least six more weeks of Lorne Michaels.
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Venmo’s parent company PayPal announced that you will now be able to use its services to pay your college tuition. Unfortunately, Venmo still doesn’t have a “middle finger” emoji to send along with each payment.
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Amazon seemingly leaked Jason Statham’s entire Mutiny movie set to hit theaters on August 21st. Luckily, it’s Amazon, so… who’s gonna see it? And even if they do… who’s gonna remember that they saw it?
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In an upset for the Democratic establishment, progressive Democratic Socialist Angie Nixon won the party’s US Senate primary in Florida, beating former army intelligence officer Alexander Vindman. Know what that means: 🎶 More equal pay again in Margaritaville. 🎶
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Finally…
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Spared execution eight times, the oldest inmate in the U.S. died at 101. Begging the very important and serious question… was he a cat?
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Japan’s farmers have gone nocturnal as deadly heat intensifies.
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What we’re gonna do right here is go back / Way back / Back into time
Sunday 8/23 in Brooklyn -
Fixing the American Healthcare System (in 2 Days) Comedy Festival. Akeem S. Roberts and myself will be discussing this piece for The Out-of-network Network - (INFO)
Wednesday 8/26 (Online) -
A free virtual discussion with Susan Morrison about her recent biography “Lorne: The Man Who Invented Saturday Night Live.”! - (INFO)
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