Dreams Come Fast When You Go Slow

If you dare to go deep with the folks who’ve mastered what it means to be a creator of your reality, you’d be surprised how quickly vitality rushes back into your life.

And as a 6 Line in Human Design, I have gone to the deepest of depths, so you don’t have to.

Let me break it down for you as simply as I can, while maintaining the integrity of the science behind what’s at work.

Manifestation is a word used to describe “things happening to or for you” usually with positive connotation.

• I manifested my pro-athlete husband.

• I manifested that perfect parking spot.

• I manifested that spot-bonus.

• I manifested that upgrade to first class.

• I manifested that free shot of espresso in my matcha and now my life is forever changed.

None of this is magic though.

None of it is luck either. Though, we use those words to reel people in, help them understand at a basic level so they try it out for themselves.

Luck and magic seem easy and accessible! No neuroscience degree required. And feel free to opt out of therapy appts! *she says with a twitch*

And this works for some people! They believe if they say the affirmations, the thing is as good as theirs.

What’s at work is not the affirmation though. It’s the BELIEF that the affirmation is going to work. It’s the ACT of saying the affirmation repeatedly to participate in the process.

But folks get caught up in the magic aspect. The desire. And they don’t quite hone what it means to feel safe with that desire, to hold and truly BELIEVE in that desire, and most importantly ACT in accordance with an identity of someone who HAS and IS WORTHY of that desire.

The best way I can explain the science part of this, the stuff we’ve proven and have empirical data to showcase is that MATTER, literal particles, move in accordance with how they are being interacted with. T

The observer effect sounds like as long as you “observe” what it is that you want, and have those thoughts on repeat, you will get what you want. And that’s only a fraction of the story.

In order for your wildest dreams to manifest, you must also participate. You must interact with the particles.

For example, going to look at million dollar homes to “get you in the frequency” of being a millionaire and owning incredible homes helps you expand your thoughts around what’s possible for you. It can quite literally raise your human vibration to feeling good, excited, hopeful. Those emotions can then turn on even new thoughts, inspirations, spark conversations you might not have dared to have otherwise.

AND if you never “interact” with the energy of having millions of dollars, those thoughts and emotions aren’t enough.

If you never act on your business idea (that could make you millions), if you never research home owner loans, if you never open a high-yield savings account, if you never login to your bank account to see how your spending is going, if you never get the LLC….

…if you never take baby steps in the direction of that dream, it will not happen.

Who’s to say what the right actions are. We don’t know. And for real for real, it doesn’t matter. The most important part is attempting. Acting on whatever inspiration hits you.

And even though my business tag line is “don’t quit your day dream,” day dreaming alone is not enough.

Desire is not enough.

Wishing. Wanting. Hoping. Vision boarding… is not enough.

• I say this as someone who needs this reminder daily.

• I say this as someone who fucking LOVES vision boards (lol)

• I say this as someone who only started recovering from “bad world syndrome” in her twenties.

• I say this as someone who was so scared to end things that hurt my soul because it felt safer than taking ANY chances on a different reality.

Thoughts alone do not change reality.

Even an immaculate brain-scape covered in affirmations, hopes, dreams, rainbows and sourdough bagels doesn’t not alter your reality. It just the primer.

HERE IS WHERE WE ALL MESS UP!! Including myself.

Most people get this concept easily: Thoughts must turn into repeated thoughts > which then turn to beliefs > which then turn into identity.

Yes, love that, however, this framing saying the process is linear. And it’s ANYTHING but.

Thoughts > Belief > Identity > Action > Reality

Looks like a straight line doesn’t it? Here’s the kicker. The hum dinger. The zing zing ZINGER:

-action needs to be interspersed at every step-

• Action that reinforces that first hopeful thought.

• Action that scaffolds those perceptions into beliefs.

• Actions that reaffirm the identity with cold-hard-proof.

I say this as somehow who just finished having a good cry about a dream of mine that has yet to actualize.

Someone tell Fergie big girls definitely cry.

Your brain is a prediction machine. And because all of us have been living with childhood trauma, young adolescent trauma, grief, adversity, and the loss of Debbie… (oh wait that one is just me) our brains have learned to predict more ugly stuff happening.

We develop our sense of self, who we are, and who the world is to us, by the age of seven. We then layer on more shit that we go through as teenagers like bullying…. (And worse).

And our brains have a lot of data that it uses to predict the future.

Does your brain run any of these programs?

For example:

• effort is not always worth the reward

• effort is parallel to reward

• depletion is required for expansion

• suffering is honorable

• emotions make other people uncomfortable

• effort is required for love

• perfection is required for love

• resting leads to disappointment, anger, or yelling

• silliness or self-expression leads to being bullied

• asking for friendship or partnership leads to rejection

• safety isn’t guaranteed

• money is limited and will run out

And my absolute least favorite, but one of my strongest wounds:

life is hard

This is why when we try to affirm ourselves into a new reality or “new timeline” we can quickly feel let down like it’s not working… because it’s not the full equation.

Think of your brain like a computer.

It has all this data of who we are and who the world is (see the beliefs written above). The brain isn’t on high-alert for these hypothetical scenarios. It’s running that program CONSTANTLY and UNCONSCIOUSLY.

And it doesn’t update its operating system (the belief system) until it sees EVIDENCE that there isn’t real danger.

Repeat that in your head. Evidence matters more than affirmations or intentions.

This is why we lose stamina and motivation SO quickly when it comes to achieving new goals.

• It’s why we quit before we even start.

• It’s why we want a date with the perfect man but won’t put ourselves out there.

• It’s why we want financial freedom but won’t set up an LLC.

• It’s why we stay in a heart-shattering relationships and won’t DARE rock the boat to see what’s out there.

The brain is running the fear, shame, guilt programming (whatever the predominant limiting beliefs add up to) all the time.

So if you orient yourself towards a future without any proof that it’s safe, the brain says “that’s a tall glass of nope for me, dawg.”

A step towards my dream life doesn’t equal exciting possibilities!

A step towards my dream life = a MAJOR increase in risk of more [fear, shame, guilt].

It’s safer to say with our current level of fear, shame, guilt than to add on anything else. Unless it’s whipped cream and someone else buys it for us.

Ok I hope at this point I haven’t discouraged the hell out of you.

I have a simple but very effective formula for you to plug-in and play with starting today.

1. When you feel inspired take action. (KEEP READING)

2. When you feel yourself pulling back, hesitating, or overthinking, cut the action step in half and then in half again and again.

3. Simplify until the task feels safe enough for your nervous system to move forward.

4. Catalogue any evidence that you are safe, loved, healthy, wealthy, respected in the process.

5. Repeat.

Most people, including myself, want the dopamine hit, the quick win, the easy way to our dreams. We want to skip all the uncomfy parts and get to the sweet treat immediately.

This method seems like it’s going to take forever because we keep having to cut the task in half. How are we supposed to find our dream husband when smiling at a stranger is still too much for our nervous system? And we have to cut the task in half to nodding at a stranger without eye contact!!

See, young grasshopper. That’s just it.

Our biggest lesson lies in the irony that our dreams come fast when we go slow.

Cheers to getting everything you want in life,