I posted an instagram reel last week saying that being an independent girl boss with big dreams, great friends and a cozy little home with the worst luck in love is actually so rom-com coded and knew I had more to say on this, so here we are!
There’s nothing like a 90s/00s rom com, am I right? When Harry Met Sally, You’ve Got Mail, 27 Dresses, The Wedding Planner, How To Lose A Guy In 10 Days, Legally Blonde, Bridget Jones, He’s Just Not That Into You, The Holiday… Need I go on? I think it’s safe to say that if you’re a millennial woman, putting one of these on will just always feel right.
These movies will always feel good for all women no matter what stage of life they’re in because they are nostalgic and heartwarming, but if you’re single, they tend to really hit home. Single women in particular should pay closer attention because our favorite female leads have taught us a lot about love and I think we’ve been missing the whole point.
Do any of these chick flicks start off with a perfect love story? No. Do any of them end with a happily ever after? All of them.
But a lot happens before they get there. We see a lot of the main characters picking the wrong guys, being unsure of what she really wants, lost, making mistakes, learning about herself, changing directions and making pivots, shifting her energy, getting knocked down and rerouted but still evolving and moving forward. There are epic fails, disappointments, hard truths, slow burns and many other twists and turns. Essentially no matter what movie it is, we’re seeing a woman live the good, bad and chaotic parts of her life. And eventually she turns a corner and things start aligning and making sense, and she ends up really happy and in love. And it’s never how she originally thought it would happen or with who she thought she wanted.
Could be a little like real life too, don’t ya think?
My gorgeous, gorgeous fellow single ladies… OUR LIVES ARE LITERALLY SO ROM COM CODED! And what if we all just decide to start viewing life like we’re the main characters of our own rom com??!
It sounds a little silly I know, but I really believe this concept could change EVERYTHING. I’m committed to making this shift and if you want to join me, listen up…
If movies started out with everything being perfect and everyone being in love, there would be nothing for us to watch. We’d be bored as hell and it would be over in a blink. Same goes for real life. If we’re given everything we want upfront and all at once, there’s no life to live. No stories. Sure there’s something to appreciate about every stage of life or movie, but the middle is EVERYTHING. It’s the heart of it all. Without it, our favorite movies would be so dull and so would our lives.
If you’re ready to step into your rom com era, here are 7 ways to create this shift:
Since we’ve already established that you’re THE STAR of your movie, start viewing the people in your life as supporting actors who have very important roles in your life. View anyone new that comes in the same way. Understand that some people will be good, some might be villains or anything in between. Some supporting actors have small parts for only a scene or two, others have larger roles and some will be part of the whole show until the very end. No matter the size of the part, they’re all important and serve a purpose in your movie.
As you move through your day, start noticing little moments that feel rom com coded and silently point them out to yourself. Like a rainy walk to your destination, grabbing coffee at a cafe or small talk with a complete stranger. If you want to take it a step further, plan rom com coded solo dates for yourself so you can intentionally get into the vibe ahead of time. Go to a bookstore, take a walk through a park or a city, sit at a bar with a book instead of your phone and let your imagination take over. What would happen if this was a movie scene?
Trust more. When we’re watching a rom com, we may not know exactly how every detail will play out but we are certain that everything is going to work out in the end. We don’t doubt for a second that there will be a happy ending. We just simply know that in some way, shape or form it’s coming. Bring that confidence and trust into your own life. When something doesn’t work out and you’re unexpectedly rerouted in life, view that as a plot twist instead of a failure. Remember, your life is a rom com, not a tragedy. Your plot is plotting.
Be brave enough to pivot. With your career, your style, your love life, anything! The best story lines come when the main character changes directions!
Treat ordinary every day moments like movie scenes. Instead of plopping down at your desk and angrily opening your Teams app, channel Meg Ryan in You’ve Got Mail when she logs on to see what Tom Hanks sent her. Move slower. Make your favorite beverage. Put it in a cute cup. Pause and actually pay attention to how it tastes. Gaze out a window. Stop rushing!
Add warmth and character to your home. Not a single one of our favorite leading ladies had any griege clean girl minimalist aesthetic in their houses (no shade if that’s really your vibe + makes you happy!) I say that only because a lot of people (myself included years ago) just followed the crowd and chose that kind of decor because it was trending, not because it actually felt like the right interior for them. Rom com homes are full of color, charm and warmth. There are mismatched patterns, different textures, books, knick knacks, real brown wood and all sorts of things that don’t seem like they’d go together but somehow fit. Side bar - If you like to go to extremes like I do, browse Ebay and bring in some nostalgic pieces. A few months ago I bought a mini kitchen tv and dusted off my DVD collection. I put it on while making dinner now and it brings me so much happiness.
Believe in yourself. Be hungry and on fire for what you want. And bet on yourself. I’m talking Elle Woods when Warner told her she wasn’t smart enough for Harvard Law. All our favorite gals have a big growth moment like that and a revelation of some kind. Maybe it’s realizing that she deserves more, deciding to stick up for herself, choosing to go after what she wants or no longer willing to accept “no.” Whatever it is, they’re yearning to change something in their lives and when they do, it’s the monumental moment that drives them to getting the happy ever after.
Whenever life starts feeling confusing and chaotic, remember that you’re just in the middle of your movie and it’s probably about to get reallyyyyy good <3
No posts
Comments
Nothing yet. Say the first thing.
Sign in to join the conversation.