Seven Not-Wildly-Expensive Things To Help You Write A Brilliant Novel

Darling,

You don’t need any of the things I’m about to list.

You can write a masterpiece on scrap paper fished out of a kindergarten art-supply bin, using tiny pencils stolen from the bank. Nothing is stopping you from going that route if it sings to you. Many a beautiful baby had a brusque conception.

As for me, well—unsurprisingly, a romantic approach is everything.

In my experience, writing is a mind game. A book takes so long, has so many moving parts, presents so many challenges . . . there are thousands of opportunities to simply give up.

I don’t want to give up. So I am happy to throw a bit of coin at the issue.

Here are a few things that help my squirrelly brain focus on the next step of the climb.

1. Scrivener. ($60) I find creating an easily-indexed file for each chapter immensely helpful. I arrive to a clean document that wants five or six thousand words, as opposed to an endless scroll that demands 75,000. And it keeps yesterday’s flawed work out of sight, where I feel less compelled to fix in lieu of continuing.

2. Delicious candle. I light one when I begin. Ritual helps us arrive, darling. I burned this unreasonably expensive beauty through the writing of Ash and the Butterfly— because it’s set in a library, of course. ($90. Then again, cocaine is also expensive, and if we’re not buying that, we ought to buy ourselves this as a reward.) My everyday preference is for natural beeswax candles (under $20), which smell like honey and facilitate time travel to pre-electrical eras. They dovetail nicely with my preference for supporting small businesses.

   

3. Dedicated tea cup. Or coffee mug—I’m not here to kink-shame the jittery. ($0 if you simply start using the nice one you’ve been saving. Otherwise, try eBay.) I was recently gifted a stoneware cup that fits so beautifully in the hand, it makes me believe in destiny. I drink from it and no other vessel whilst writing, hand-wash it, forbid others from using it. In this way, I encourage its magic to grow.

4. Bibliomancy book. (Probably $0, see what calls to you on your shelf.) Over the years, several artist friends have shown me their special book, the one that speaks to them. Texts vary widely: oracular, academic, autofiction, self-help. The basic practice is to open to a “random” page and read in the way of tarot or tea leaves or fortune cookie. A few birthdays ago, I was given a vintage Alice In Wonderland. When I’m stuck, I pick it up and let it speak to me.

   

5. Proper walking shoes. (oh, $70-110ish) Most plot snarls can be solved by leaving them to think about their poor behavior while you take a nice walk. And for those that remain stubborn . . .

6. Silk pillowcase. ($60 for fancy, far less if you go with one of those odd little brands that’s all consonants.) A night’s slumber will allow the glitter to settle in the gorgeous snow globe of your mind. Resting my head upon something as soft as a lover’s touch is crucial, as the goal is always to drift off as sensually as possible.

7. Well-designed toy. ($30+— I’d advise you to invest, so the materials are top notch. The Cost Per Use goes down so quickly!) Darling, let me be blunt: the route to a great love scene passes directly through your own erotic imagination. This is not to say that you need to write the sex that you personally burn for. My characters desire all sorts of things not strictly to my taste. But I do know my taste, its neon marquees and wild gardens and shadowy passageways, and that enables me to demand of myself the same specificity, quirk, and complexity in writing other people’s naughty yums.

I hope the list is useful! Oh, and my publisher will flog me in the public square if I don’t gently encourage you to read my new novel. Your patronage is appreciated.

LMxx