The Practice of Enough

Last week’s mantra, It is safe to put it down, resonated with so many of you. I heard from more people than usual, and it got me thinking about why that one landed so deeply.

I think the real reason so many of us are afraid to put something down is an underlying feeling of not being enough. Not having enough, not doing enough, and not being enough.

Maybe the deeper question beneath all of this is not what we need to do or have, but whether we can trust that we are already enough.

I have enough.

The boys and I spent the Fourth of July holiday in Sun Valley, Idaho, where my parents have had a place for more than 35 years. My dad got lucky when he bought a place there way back in the day. He took one of my sons and me on a drive to an epic mountain view and climb. Along the way, we passed a home, more like a compound, with acres of land and a gorgeous barn.

My first thought was, Could you imagine? And then my very next thought was, Would I even want to take care of something that big?

I thought about my own home. Cozy, modest, and exactly enough for us. I felt something settle in me.

It’s fun to dream about beautiful homes, clothes, and trips, and we should never feel guilty for wanting nice things. But wherever you go, there you are. It’s one of my favorite Jon Kabat-Zinn books. More of anything won’t necessarily make us happier or more fulfilled if we don’t already feel at peace with what we have.

I will never take for granted that I have a roof over my head and a home to raise my three boys in. Enough was never about the size of the house. It was about the feeling of home I had created inside it.

I do enough.

This is the one that gets me the most. There is a constant tally running in my head of everything I didn’t get to: the class I didn’t teach as perfectly as I wanted, the email still sitting in my inbox, and the moment I wasn’t fully present because I was already thinking about the next thing.

Yoga reminds us of this in every class, right at the end, in savasana. Lying there, doing absolutely nothing, we are told that right here, right now, we have done enough. Yet the second we stand up and walk back into our day, it’s so easy to feel behind again.

There will always be something to do. I look at our laundry and wonder how on earth it multiplied so quickly. If I obsessed about doing laundry every day, I’d go crazy. Sometimes I have to let it pile up so I can work out, be with my boys, meditate, and simply enjoy my life.

I don’t ignore it, and I do eventually have to tackle it. But I also have to know when to stop doing and when to start living. I love the quote, “We aren’t human doings. We are human beings.”

When I am doing the laundry, I try to be present with it. I take in the fresh smell of clean clothes, feel grateful that my boys are so active and that I get to take care of their sweaty stuff, and remind myself that I don’t need any more clothes because we already have enough. And honestly, I really don’t want to create any more laundry than necessary!

I don’t think the measure of our lives is how much we get done. Maybe enough isn’t about checking every box. Maybe it’s about showing up for our lives, wholeheartedly, again and again.

I am enough.

This is the hardest one to fully believe and the one I have worked on the longest. After years of feeling less than because of certain circumstances, that’s a hard feeling to completely shake. It doesn’t matter what I’ve built since or how far I’ve come. That old voice can still show up uninvited.

But I keep coming back to this: I do not need to change myself or prove myself to anyone. Not to people from my past, not to the algorithm, and not even to myself on my hardest days. I am enough just as I am.

I am perfectly imperfect, and it’s so much more fun to be flawed and fully myself than to hide behind who I think others want me to be. The more I learn to value myself for who I am right here and right now, the more freely I can share my thoughts, creativity, and love with the world.

My dad once said, “How can you put a price tag on my daughter?” Those words have always stayed with me. Our worth isn’t attached to a number, an accomplishment, or someone else’s opinion of us. It is part of our inherent nature.

Maybe this is why it feels so scary to put something down. We worry that if we stop striving, achieving, proving, or accumulating, there won’t be enough left of us. But perhaps putting something down doesn’t leave us with less. Perhaps it finally allows us to see what has been here all along.

I invite you to close your eyes, take a deep breath, and settle into this mantra.

Place one hand on your lower belly, at your base, where we connect with feelings of safety, grounding, security, and home within ourselves.

Repeat:

I have enough.

Bring your hand to your heart center, the place where we connect with love, compassion, and all that we give and share with the world.

Repeat:

I do enough.

Bring your hand to your solar plexus, your center of inner strength, confidence, and self-trust.

Repeat:

I am enough.

I have enough.
I do enough.
I am enough.

Leave one word in the comments that describes how you want to feel this week. My word is enough. I'd love to read yours.

For paid subscribers, I’ve included a guided meditation below to help you embody this mantra and take a few quiet moments to come back home to yourself.