What We're Reading Now

Last week I wrote about my fears and getting back on the proverbial horse of writing, and here I am, writing to you two weeks in a row! lol It doesn’t sound like much, especially since it’s technically been a day or two more than a week, but baby steps and progress are more important than perfection. I’m doing the “reps,” and I’m proud of that in and of itself.

I’ve also learned recently that who I am at my core, my truly authentic self, doesn’t thrive as much on structure and consistency as I thought I did, but more on ebbs and flows. I do like and prefer plans, but I also need to allow space for organic flow, especially with my creativity. There’s a balance…or perhaps a harmony is the better way to describe it…that I am leaning into.

Believing we have to be consistent to be successful is another piece of programming and conditioning that I’m breaking and releasing. I will no longer let my power leak into carrying guilt and shame when I miss a day or want to adjust the schedule. When we feel guilt and shame, like we’ve failed, we are easier to control and manipulate. So no, I won’t feel bad about this wobble, especially since I’ve been writing other places.

Have you also been made to feel bad about yourself and your efforts because you wobbled off the path of what “they” say you “should” do? It’s one thing to disappoint yourself and be out of integrity with your own heart and soul. But if you’re doing something in a very specific way only because someone said it’s the only way to win, to achieve victory or success, and then feel horrible because you “failed,” it’s time to let that shit go. Ask yourself where that “rule” came from and if you truly believe it. Feel the truth ~ or lack of it ~ in your body. Trust your own inner wisdom.

Anywho…

Here I am, writing to you again ~ yay! ~ and today I just want to know what you’re reading these days. Specific titles, genres and sub-genres, current favorite authors…what has you enthralled right now?

I am in the midst of several books and series.

I’m on the last book of re-reading A Court of Thorns and Roses (ACOTAR) series and next, I’m going to re-read the Crescent City books. Sarah J. Maas, the author, has new books coming later this year and early next year that she says ties her worlds together even more, but that’s not the only reason I’m re-reading them all again. After reading her first series, Throne of Glass, for the first time last year, and then learning about her plans, I realized we have some common threads in our books, worlds, and how we’re linking them.

I’ll admit this led to comparisonitis and the feeling that my writing, my stories could never measure up to her brilliance so why bother. She was doing, has been doing, and continues to do what I’d wanted and planned since finishing the first book of the Soul Savers series back in 2009. And I went down that road of feeling like a failure for still not executing, like I’m less than, an imposter and wannabe. Ugh! More lies I tell myself (see last week’s post if you haven’t already) ~ or, rather, my ego does, thinking it’s protecting me.

My true self knows I can still write my stories because they’re different from hers, and what I bring to them is unique. Only I can do it my way. That said, though, I want to be sure that I am doing it my own way. So I’m studying how Maas is handling her worlds to ensure I take a different route. And, of course, they’re really good and worth re-reading. If you haven’t read them, I recommend that you do!

Besides re-reading those for professional reasons, for fun I’ve been reading the Mystic Wolves series by Belinda Boring. One, because she’s one of my favorite people in the world, and two, because they’re freaking amazing! So if you’ve read ACOTAR and the others, or they’re just not your thing, or for any other reason, be sure to check out Belinda’s books. I just love her writing style (which is why she’s involved with Havenwood Falls).

For nonfiction, I’m reading Waking the Tiger: Healing Trauma by Peter Levine and Ann Frederick, and listening to The Body Keeps the Score by Bessel van der Kolk, M.D., on audiobook. On the recommended reading list for the conscious coaching course I’m taking, both books are about how our bodies store trauma and until we release that energy, we will continue to relive and reopen our own wounds. It doesn’t matter how many years of top-down therapy we do ~ talking about our pasts and addressing those wounds with logic and rationality ~ we can’t completely heal and move past the trauma until we allow the full cycle of trauma response to move through our bodies and come to completion.

The background and insights into their research these authors provide is astounding and enlightening. Most diagnoses of depression, bipolar, borderline personality disorder, anxiety, addiction, and so many others can be traced back to childhood developmental trauma, but this was ignored for decades in the treatment of these mental health labels. And if not DTSD (developmental traumatic stress disorder), then C-PTSD (complex PTSD).

If you or someone you love has been given any of these diagnoses, or if you simply know you have destructive or un-serving patterns that you repeat and you want to know how to break the cycles, I recommend either or both of these books. Or find yourself a trauma-informed, somatic trained coach (like myself), because, unfortunately, licensed therapists are limited by red tape in how they can approach this kind of healing.

So…that’s what I’m filling my brain and imagination with. What about you? What would you recommend? And if you haven’t been reading much, what’s currently on your TBR pile?

(*Links included in this post are Amazon affiliate links. I receive a few pennies if you click through and buy anything. Those pennies add up and help support my writing and traveling, so thank you!)

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