Providing Feedback: A Designer's Case Against the Compliment Sandwich

#EffectiveFeedbackTips #BeyondComplimentSandwich #ConstructiveCriticismInsights

Feedback has always been challenging. I usually take it as a personal challenge to get better, especially from people I love and respect. BUT… it can still feel like a kick to the stomach.

When someone gives me feedback on a design, I invite it in with care and reverence. But when someone critiques ME as a designer I take it personally. I hate the saying “It’s not personal.” Well then, you obviously don’t know me and my passion for design. I live design 80-100 hours a week (there are only 168 hours in a week.) 

Recently, in an attempt to be constructive and sensitive, I was told to retrain myself to deliver it in a “compliment sandwich”1. I had never heard of that and had it explained:

Shocked? I was.

Now we are culturally compelled to invent a sandwich to deliver feedback. This isn’t Subway/(Your Favorite Sandwich provider)! I don’t want to invent a story to give feedback. Tact is one thing, but invention is another and I refuse to be a sandwich artist.

These are the things that I want to reinforce when I provide feedback and receive it from my peers and loved ones:

BE SPECIFIC, BE REGULAR, PLUS2

THERE IS A WHOLE ARTICLE ON THE IDEA OF PLUSSING. LOOK FOR IT. .

There are several potential negative effects of this method of feedback and you will have to know the communication style of the person you are speaking with and how well they listen.

1. Diluting the message: When negative feedback is cushioned/soften between positives, the receiver may not fully absorb the criticism, thus leading to a reduced likelihood of improvement or change in the targeted behavior.

2. Reducing credibility: The giver of the feedback may come off as insincere if the compliments seem disingenuous or unrelated to the criticism. This could potentially undermine the credibility of the feedback, reducing its effectiveness.

3. Encouraging defensiveness: The recipient of the feedback might feel defensive if they perceive the criticism to be unjustified or if the compliments seem insincere.

4. Inefficiency: The compliment sandwich can be time-consuming, as it requires the giver of the feedback to think of appropriate compliments to deliver alongside the criticism. This can detract from the focus on the specific issue or behavior that needs improvement.

In conclusion, the "compliment sandwich" method may not be the most effective approach to providing feedback, especially for those who are passionate about their work and take criticism personally. As an alternative, it is crucial to focus on delivering feedback that is specific, regular, and constructive, while also considering the individual's communication style and how well they listen. By doing so, we can foster an environment where genuine growth and improvement can take place, leading to more successful and satisfying personal and professional relationships. Let's move beyond hoagies and embrace feedback that truly empowers and inspires.