Don't Bother Reading This

I don't know where to start from so I will just say it randomly. So, here we go:

1. Suicide lives within me, passively. That's the best way I can describe how I feel.

2. I don't want to kill myself but I think about it a lot. I think about wiping the memory of everyone that knows me so that when I stop existing they won't have to mourn me.

3. I don't particularly enjoy living/existing. Sometimes I wonder what's the point of this struggle on earth just to die on a random Tuesday afternoon.

4. I'm tired, so fucking tired in a way that sleep can't fix. Sometimes, I feel like my body has rested but my mind is perpetually in a state of exhaustion.

5. I take comfort in knowing that if life gets too tough, I can always end it.

6. Writing and photography makes me happy but I feel it's not enough.

7. I should probably seek help but I feel that I will probably just lie to my therapist.

8. Everything feels bland, including food.

9. I should probably get something to eat because I'm currently hungry.

10. No, I'm not going to kill myself, largely because I have FOMO but I just wanted to put my feelings into words, for the first time ever.

11. Please don't send me a DM, I will most likely ignore it.

12. And this is not your sign to evangelize to me, I'll delete your comment.

13. I hope this article doesn't get a lot of traction. I might end up deleting it if it does.

Anyways, that's all for now. 🩷