A friend asked if I’d heard from a special someone. I said no, and honestly, I hadn’t even noticed until that moment. I was too busy sitting in the warmth of everyone who did show up.
That’s something I’ve had to learn slowly, over many birthdays: decentering my own expectations. We are all the main characters of our own lives, which means the story we tell ourselves about who remembered and who didn’t can consume the whole day if we let it. I used to post my birthday everywhere, loved when friends would repost and celebrate loudly. Those years were beautiful. But somewhere along the way, my birthday got quieter. Depending on the year, it looks different. Greece with ten friends. A villa in Tulum with seven. Chasing a film set in Norway with my twin. But most of my adult birthdays have been small, held close with family or a lover.
So when that question came up about the person who didn’t reach out, I sat with it for about five seconds. And then I let it go. Because there’s something that bothers me about giving absence more weight than presence. There are people who reach out every single year without fail, people I don’t talk to regularly but who never miss the day. That kind of quiet, consistent intention is a form of love that deserves to be seen.
Gratitude is thankfulness for what you have, not grief for what you thought you were owed.
This year, I came into my birthday season with one word on my mind: visibility. It had been a Q2 goal, and I decided to actually mean it. Not just post more, but say yes to things that felt like gifts showing up at the right time. An Adidas x Pharrell package arrived, four colorways of the Flat Earther sneaker. A podcast invited me to speak. The aquarium’s Good Catch dinner series welcomed me as a media guest. Three TikToks went viral.
At the top of the month, I woke up thinking about money. Not from a place of fear, just clarity. Everything I want to accomplish in the next six months requires real investment, so I was already in problem-solving mode when I opened TikTok and found an invitation to sign with a hospitality agency waiting for me.
I believe deeply that faith without works is dead, so I immediately put together a one-sheeter and asked my new agent to pitch The Cooper for a partnership.
I had already posted three videos about visiting the hotel while visiting downtown Charleston. Those videos collectively pulled 70K views and sold a room. The first ask got a no. But I didn’t stop there. My agent and I found another angle and I ended up with a stay.
The Cooper is Charleston’s only luxury waterfront hotel and it opened just this spring, which made the whole thing feel even more aligned. Situated along the harbor with sweeping views of the Cooper River, the property has this ease to it, coastal interiors with wide-plank oak floors, shiplap paneling, and rooms that feel like someone’s very beautiful home. There’s a 7,000-square-foot spa, a rooftop infinity pool overlooking the harbor and Waterfront Park, a private marina with a fleet of luxury vessels, and The Crossing, the hotel’s signature restaurant serving Mediterranean cuisine.
I had decided weeks before, when I stopped in for drinks during a visit to downtown Charleston, that this was exactly how I wanted to bring in another year.
I made it happen.
And now I get to share it with my community, from room tour to the spa, poolside lunch, flowers and champagne on arrival, a private architecture and history walking tour through the neighborhood, and dinner at The Crossing. The octopus was the best I’ve ever had. The texture was nothing like any version I’d tried before, tender where I expected resistance, and I thought about it the day after…I’m actually still thinking about it.
Visibility, when you’re intentional about it, has a way of becoming something larger than attention. It becomes evidence. Of showing up. Of not taking no as the final answer. Of choosing to celebrate yourself fully, even when you have to build the moment yourself.
That’s the birthday I wanted. That’s the one I got.
Sincerely,
Kimee
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