The Importance of Friendships

When Caden was first hospitalized in 2022, I was so overwhelmed with the shock and the grief of hearing that he had cancer, I kept to myself most of the time. I spent the first few weeks at the hospital avoiding eye contact with other parents I saw in the hallways or on the elevator. No one wants to be at Children’s Hospital; I knew that any conversation would inevitably lead to the, “What floor are you on?” Or, “Why is your child here?” conversations that I just couldn’t handle. Overwhelmed with my own sorrow, I knew I could not take on the weight of someone else’s sad story.

I remember the first time I spoke to another parent, we were both on the elevator, headed down to the third floor. I was on my way to get my morning coffee from the hospital Starbucks. I decided to be brave and gave the dad a small smile, which he returned. The conversation began, and he asked why we were there. “My son has cancer,” I replied. He started to nod, and then said, “My daughter has diabetes. At least with cancer they treat it and then you can get on with your life. She will never be cured of diabetes.“ I was taken aback by his flippant response to Caden’s diagnosis. Not to minimize diabetes by any means, and I imagine if his daughter was hospitalized for her condition then it must’ve been a very scary and serious time for their family, but I think most people would agree cancer is not as simple as, get treatment and then get on with your life. Mercifully, it was about this time that the elevator doors opened and I quickly made my exit, thinking to myself, This is why I don’t talk to other parents.

Eventually, I did decide to let my guard down again, and I will say that one interaction was truly the only negative one I had while at the hospital with other parents. I ended up finding strength and encouragement in the friendships I developed with other moms and dads on the oncology floor. We were all going through similar battles, weary, and tired, but never without hope for our children.

Last year, Caden was chosen to be the event honoree for the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society’s Big Climb, an annual fundraiser where participants climb 69 flights of stairs at the Columbia Center in Seattle. Our whole family went, and it was a day of celebration as Caden was coming up on one year of remission. While in the VIP area, Caden noticed a man wearing a survivor shirt like him. When he mentioned it to me, I suggested he should go introduce himself. Ever the social butterfly, Caden went up and started a conversation with the man. His name was Scott and he and Caden had a conversation where they shared their similar experiences with leukemia, Scott had also received a bone marrow transplant in 2015. I have stayed in touch with Scott and his wife, Andrea, over social media since then.

A few weeks ago Andrea reached out to me and asked if our family was going to be at the Big Climb again this year which happens mid March. I told her we would not be there, unfortunately, Caden’s energy is pretty low these days due to chemotherapy. We absolutely believe LLS is an amazing organization though, and the Big Climb is a very worthy cause and fundraiser. Andrea shared that Scott was going to participate in the Big Climb again, and he and his co-participants are calling themselves “Team Caden” in his honor. Our whole family is so touched and deeply moved by this gesture. It is a reminder to me of the importance of making connections and developing friendships with those who have been affected by cancer. We draw so much strength and inspiration from the other warriors we have met. We continue praying for them, their health, their lives, and longevity. And they have been so wonderful to us and rallied around us in our time of need.

Please consider donating to Scott’s Big Climb team for the Leukemia and Lymphoma society. It would be awesome to raise a lot of money in the name of two brave warriors and friends.

Donation page:

https://shorturl.at/0ceIY