My Hysterectomy & Recovery

I wrote this post at my 3-week post-op mark, then had a family emergency that kept me from finishing it. So I am now at my 4-week mark! You’ll notice that I didn’t write about this week, and that’s because I don’t think it’s a fair comparison. It’s been a lot rougher than week 3, which was almost entirely uneventful in the best way. My grandpa had an emergency and was in the hospital all week, so I was doing a little more lifting and such than I probably should have, much to the chagrin of Bobby and my family. But sorry, grandpa comes first — and I felt like it was a blessing in disguise that I had all this free time to stay with him, since I blocked out several weeks of work.

Yesterday, I had a breast MRI that had me lying on my stomach for 45 minutes, and had my cervical cuff area was spasming the whole time, so today I am feeling it. But now that grandpa is settled back in his memory care home, and my medical exams are done for the time being, I’m back to taking it a little easier. I’m taking a well-deserved day off. If you need me, I’ll be reading my book:)

With all of this in mind, here’s the post I meant to publish last week. All good things. I’m feeling very grateful.

Now that I’m three weeks post-op, I figured it’s time for a hysterectomy update. If you missed the first post, here’s the backstory on why I chose to get a total hysterectomy. I promised I’d talk a little more about the surgery and the recovery, so let’s have a little catch-up.

For anyone curious, I had a laparoscopic total hysterectomy, which means I had my uterus, cervix, and fallopian tubes removed, but kept my ovaries in an effort to keep menopause at bay. My surgeon also removed multiple fibroids and excised endometriosis where she could, though unfortunately, much of my bowel endometriosis remains. One thing at a time.

Bobby drove me to the hospital on the morning of my surgery. We had to get there at 7 AM, and my surgery was slated for 9. The hospital experience was smooth, and I was feeling at ease about the whole thing. I could tell Bobby was a little more nervous, but he was good at keeping it together for my sake. I’m really glad I didn’t show Bobby that morning’s episode of The Daily:

When that popped up on my podcasts while getting ready for the hospital, I couldn’t help but laugh — and take a screenshot. The funny thing is, something like this happened before. I’ve only ever had one other surgery, and the day I went to the hospital for it, I read an article in the waiting room with a headline like: “True story: I woke up during my surgery.” The universe is funny that way.

Twenty-five years ago, that anesthesiologist reassured me that I would be fine, and I was. So I chose to just continue believing that (and avoided listening to the episode until a few days later).

My memory ends at the second they put the mask on me in the OR, and starts again when I woke up five hours later. So luckily, I will not be recalling a nightmare scenario worthy of an exposé. However, the first thing I remember after waking up was, “What just happened, and why am I in so much pain?”

When I woke up from anesthesia, there was a nurse sitting near the foot of my bed. She could see that I was in pain, so she jumped up and asked me what my pain level was. I said it was a 7 (generous). She put something else in my IV, and it was a little better, but they were still concerned I was so uncomfortable so they gave me something stronger. After that — and relieving my bladder — I was good. She said I went from paper white to having color again, so she was relieved, and so was I. But please don’t let that scare you, because most people I’ve talked to had little to no pain upon waking.

Mine was sharp and intense but quickly managed — and I later wondered how much of my pain was due to my extremely full bladder and me just not really understanding what was happening since I was so loopy. My measured output was 800 ml despite having a catheter during surgery, so my bladder was extremely full. Like, how in the world is it able to hold that much? full.

But all I could groggily think was, “We are so back, baby!” because I went from barely being able to hold anything in my bladder anymore to holding way too much. Turns out, when you take out a bunch of fibroids that are squishing your insides, things function a little more efficiently.

Once I was back in bed, they brought Bobby in to see me. I was even loopier by that point because I was freshly out of anesthesia and on way more painkillers than I’ve ever had in my life. The second I saw Bobby, I started crying and telling him some…colorful stories.

Through tears, I told him that the whole hospital was laughing at me and calling me a baby, and that my surgeon told me I was pathetic and she got rid of a perfectly good uterus for no reason. He reassured me that he talked to her, and she said she removed a lot of fibroids and endometriosis. I said NO. THEY THINK I’M PATHETIC AND EVERYONE IS LAUGHING AT ME.

My poor surgeon had to tell me that it was a dream. She also reassured me that I very much needed the surgery and no one thought I was pathetic, and they certainly weren’t laughing at me. And then she said, “I’m so sorry you lived with this pain for so long,” and I cried again, and apologized for crying, and cried some more. Anesthesia is wild. This is also when she told me that some of my endometriosis was too deep into my bowels to safely excise during the procedure, so I might need to see a colorectal surgeon. I don’t even want to think about that right now, so we’ll see.

I had the option of staying overnight, but I really wanted to go home and sleep in my own bed. By 6 pm, I was discharged. It was a bit of a long day for Bobby, but felt like an hour for me.

The first few days were mostly about resting. Pain was completely manageable, and we already had the room set up to be as comfortable as possible. I can do another post with tips on that / how to prepare, if anyone is interested.

I barely remember the first few days. I slept a lot. I got up to use the bathroom, shower, and walk around every couple of hours as directed. Bobby set timers and would come and help me out of bed. He also made sure I ate well, took all my medications, and helped me shower and do my skin care routine. I can’t imagine those first few days without him taking care of me — I probably would have just skipped meals and rotted in bed. I was just exhausted.

I wouldn’t say I was in pain; I was just uncomfortable. The worst pain was actually the residual gas from the surgery, which tends to settle into your shoulders. A heating pad was my best friend during this time. These days flew by for me and felt like one long day…because I was just sleeping a lot.

Shockingly, I had zero bleeding. ZERO!

By day 4, I was feeling like a new person. Still tired, still a little uncomfortable, but alive! And so I decided to do some work. Like an idiot, because I thought I was the exception to the rule. The first print of Bobby’s book came in, and I was DETERMINED!

Even though I was careful not to lift, push, or pull anything heavy, I was up and down a lot, taking photos and videos, sewing (!!!) and I just did way too much. I remember telling Bobby I was healing so fast I might have time to join the olympics (me, with zero athletic ability), and that he needed to chill because I was feeling fine. I was wearing my hysterectomy pillow the whole time, both as a cushiony protection and a reminder to myself not to be crazy.

Bobby tried to stop me, but I was adamant about getting the job done because it was supposed to be done before my surgery (the book didn’t arrive on time). And really, I was fine — I didn’t injure myself. But by the end of the day, every alarm bell started going off in my body and telling me to lie down. I spent days 5 and 6 paying for it; it felt like I was back to square one. I didn’t hurt myself; I was just completely wiped out and aching. Don’t worry, I learned my lesson.

By day 7, I felt good again but stayed taking it easy. Short walks, lots of reading, etc. Tiny tasks wipe me out. I listen to my body.

At this stage, everything felt a little tight and itchy at the incisions. Sometimes I’d have to remind myself to stand up straight while walking because I would find myself kind of leaning into the discomfort. It felt like I was being pulled inward, and I could feel my intestines settling in new places. It was…weird. But not painful. Coughing and laughing bring little stabby feelings, or unwanted pressure, but the hysterectomy pillow I have is great for that. If there’s one thing I’d recommend the most, it is this hysterectomy pillow.

Week 2 has been the solid “I feel pretty good! until I don’t” stage of healing.

Overall, I feel minimal pain. It’s not completely pain-free, but I feel normal enough that when I get occasional sharp pains or feel more aware of my cervical cuff, I’m like…oop! What was that?! There was one day when every time I moved a certain way, I would feel like someone stabbed me in the belly button. But it went away after just one day. The next day, it was on the right side, etc. etc.

To give you an idea, Bobby had to go out of town for work from the 15th-21st (I had my surgery on the 6th) and I was totally fine by myself. My sister and mom checked in and helped me with taking care of the animals and household tasks, but most of the time I was on my own and really feeling okay, save for a few emotional wobbles. Bobby meal-prepped so much that I had enough food to host several dinner parties, so I really didn’t have to worry about much.

At this point, my nerves were waking up a little more — and like I said, I was a little more aware of where the cervix was removed and everything is stitched shut. It’s mostly pressure, an occasional pang or taut feeling. My four tiny incisions are healing nicely, and the itchiness is gone.

My two-week post-op went well. Still no bleeding, and she was thrilled with how I’m feeling. She was also excited to show me the photos from my surgery to assure me that this wasn't just in my head.

I don’t know what I was expecting but it wasn’t what the photos looked like! My uterus no longer resembled a uterus but an extremely enlarged and distorted, lumpy monster with fibroids bigger than itself. She was able to excise most of my endometriosis except in my bowels, where it was too fibrotic and deep into the muscle. She reiterated that she would refer me to a colorectal surgeon if that’s the route I want to go, but I think I’m all set on surgeries for the time being.

I am unfortunately having the classic bowel endo zingers, which I am all-too used to, but other than that I have never had the IBS-like symptoms. And let me tell you, when I realized I would normally be in bed with a 3-day migraine and bleeding profusely by my post-op appointment, I was overwhelmed with gratitude that I moved forward with the procedure. It’s crazy to think I felt better just days after surgery than I did half of each month.

I’m now at the end of week 3 and it’s been uneventful. I’m getting a little more energy each day but still feel fatigued by 4 pm or after tasks.

I’ve noticed that if I bend, squat, or do a little too much, I feel it right after as bloating / swelling. It’s a good reminder that I should try not to do that. My body has been pretty good about giving me warning signs. Too much activity = immediate “swelly belly” and little lightning bolts near my internal sutures.

The best way I can describe it is: I’m not in pain, but I’m still healing — and when I forget that, my body likes to give me a little reminder.

In short: I’m a little bored. But bored is better than in pain!

I’ve read a lot of books, done every New York Times crossword puzzle, Spelling Bee, Wordle, Connections, Strands, etc. for every day I’ve been healing. But to be honest, that’s my daily routine anyway. So I’m excited to get to the point where I can work through a full day without feeling like I need a two hour nap.

This part has been up and down. I’ve felt sad, bored, and a little sensitive, even though I’m thrilled I had the surgery. And I think it’s a mix of being tired, impatient, having unrealistic expectations of myself, and hormonal fluctuation. I tend to hate myself on a normal day (something I have been actively working on for years, I promise) and so I feel a little useless. I said this on my IG but I’ve never felt uglier, even when I try to put myself together. I know it’s just part of the healing process but I want to be transparent about that.

Keep in mind that I’ve had a lifelong struggle with depression. I’m on Sertraline which has been an absolute life-saver. And luckily, these bouts of depression have been more sporadic than consistent. I’ll feel fine and then all of a sudden I’m crying and thinking about how I’m a hideous, washed up old fool without any jobs.

And then I’m fine again.

And then I see a story about a doctor who adopted a child who came in for heart surgery (and his sister! and her siblings and coworker adopted his other siblings!!) and then I’m crying all over again but for good reasons. So, you know, I’m still me. Crying even when I’m happy. That’s the sad girl in me:)

My hope is that I won’t really need to update you on more. One, I’m tired of talking about my uterus so I’m sure you’re tired of hearing about it. But two, I’m hoping the rest of the healing will be equally uneventful. My last checkup is in six weeks and that’s [fingers crossed!] when I’ll get the thumbs up to just go back to normal life without restrictions.

I came into this prepared for anything. I was maybe even a little overly prepared — so don’t feel like you need all of these things. But I did, however, use them all. If you or someone you know is having this surgery, here’s what helped me:

• Heating pad (this is my number one even before the surgery). This is the one I’ve been using lately — I prefer being able to plug it in, rather than charge it.

• Hysterectomy pillow. This has a place for the seatbelt, pockets for snacks and aquaphor, and keeps animals from jumping on your surgery site. It is my emotional support pillow. I like wearing it around the house and pressing into it when I have to cough, sneeze, or laugh. Do you need it? No. Have I used it every day? Yes!

• Convertible wedge pillow to sleep in an elevated position and prop myself up during the day. I like that mine is convertible. You can also just stack some pillows, recover in a recliner, or just find what works for you.

• A hospital table for working from bed, eating, etc. Not necessary, but extremely convenient. My friend Angie recommended it since we both work on our computers a lot, and it has been put to great use! I’m using it right now.

• Stool softeners and miralax (my doctor sent me home with it, and you will need it as your intestines figure out how to work again). These are pretty much non-negotiable. And make sure you’re staying hydrated!

• Disposable postpartum underwear that cover the incisions, are comfy, and better than anything they’ll give you at the hospital. My sister bought these for me, and though I miraculously didn’t bleed, I still ended up wearing them after realizing my regular underwear rub RIGHT at the incision sites.

• A shower chair. A lot of people said they had a hard time showering the first week but I cannot sleep without a shower, so it was non-negotiable for me. I already have a history of fainting in the shower, so Bobby picked up a shower chair for me to be safe. It was so nice to have a safe way to thoroughly enjoy my shower instead of having to rush through it.

• Abdominal binder. This helps with swelling and helps support your core. It also makes wearing normal clothing a little easier for me.

• and of course, if you want to get something to brighten the day, the funny little recovery activity book and uterus plushie that my sister got for me made me smile. I cracked up when I opened my surgery gifts from my baby sister and both of these were hits!

• lots and lots and lots of books:)

Everyone’s experience is going to be a little bit different, but for what it’s worth, I have received nothing but support and encouragement from other women — my “hyster-sisters” — who have had hysterectomies. The forums have lots of support and can be helpful for comparisons when things pop up, but just remember that the more unevenful the recovery, the less likely someone will be writing about it. Which is the main reason I wanted to write about it: to show that while it is a major surgery and a big decision, it doesn’t have to be scary.

• Don’t let the “I feel good” days trick you. Rest anyway. In other words: do as I say, not as I do.

• Remember the saying that healing isn’t linear. Try not to be discouraged if you have some days that are harder than others.

• Walk carefully but often.

• Stay ahead of constipation. The last thing you want to do is strain while you have a bunch of stitches inside of you!

• Remember that the emotional waves are normal. Be kind to yourself.

• You know your body better than anyone. Don’t let anyone else’s experience — including mine — diminish yours.

Thank you to everyone who has been checking in on me, and sending me love and support. I feel surrounded by positivity and I can’t tell you what a difference that makes.

Love Love,

Keiko Lynn