What the Fuck Happened Today?

It is Wednesday, August 12, and apparently we needed a midweek edition because waiting until the weekend was asking too much of 2026.

These weekly updates are the only thing I put behind a paywall, but there was so much happening today that I decided to do a little midweek edition as an extra gift to my paid subscribers and a thank you for supporting my work. If you want to join us, you can become a paid subscriber for just $5 a month. It directly supports the work I do here and gets you all of these updates.

Trump is floating using emergency powers to take greater control over the midterms. Mike Lindell lost his primary and immediately refused to accept the results. Voters are turning hard against Trump's war with Iran. ICE wants to spend $20 million on electric shock gloves.

And Trump would also like everyone to know that the United States may just “keep” the Strait of Hormuz.

It's noon.

So here we go.