My Child Is an Honor Student. So What?

When I’m in front of an audience, I often say, “I’m a member of the last generation of children who….” and then fill in the sentence with something like, “were not idols.”

That, in fact, is one of the things about which I am grateful. I was not an idol. An understatement.

My mother did not brag about my academic achievements, for example. She would have thought the MY CHILD IS AN HONOR STUDENT bumper sticker was silly.

That’s what it is, after all. What strange thought process (if one can even call it that) is going on in the head of a parent who would put that silly thing on their car? Or a sticker that calls attention to your heroic and self-sacrificing efforts on behalf of your child, like, AUTISM MOM? Does the child in question know you are broadcasting to the world that he is autistic?

Oh, and yes, autism is not something your kid should be ashamed of; nonetheless, it’s a personal and private matter that you, even if you are his mother, have no business broadcasting to total strangers.

But I digress. Back to MY CHILD IS AN HONOR STUDENT.

If you’re one of the parents in question, don’t take all this personally. I’m not saying you ARE a silly person; I’m saying putting a sign on your car that brags about your child’s achievements is silly. I mean, so what if he made the honor roll? I know of people who were excellent students as children and disasters as adults.

Considering that possibility for a moment, if your honor student kid ends up spending most of his adult life in prison, are you going to replace the MCIAHS bumper sticker with MY CHILD IS A FELON?