Welcome to JJ’s Words! It’s my public journal for me to share my experiences, document my journey, and my thoughts on literally anything, any advice, things I consume, things going on in my life, and anything else that I may find interesting. It’s mostly unplanned, unedited writing to get whatever thoughts out from the week(however short or long, and hopefully, there’s something that you may find interesting, helpful, or valuable. Honestly, it’s mostly a place for me to freely ramble, process things, and clear my mind, even if no one cares to read it.
So, it’s been almost a month since I’ve written here, and it’s been quite a good month — a bunch of stuff happened. And that means this entry will be jumping all over the place. That is what I kind of hoped for these specific pieces to be about. It’s literally anything that made me think about things throughout my day without much structure.
It will be quite fitting to start off with this article I read:
That has been something that I struggle with here. I always feel like I have things to write about until it gets time to actually write about it. I had a conversation with someone at work about this too when I mentioned to him if he thought about writing. And as many people say is yes, they have, but they don’t know what to write about.
And I recently came across that post from Velvet Noise(I do recommend checking their entire Substack; there’s a lot of good ideas there).
It was this quote that stood out to me:
When people tell me they have no idea what they would write about, I often think that if they recorded a single conversation with a close friend, they would find endless essay ideas emerging from it. When you pay attention, these conversations reveal the recurring loops of interest you keep returning to. What do your friends ask you about? What can you not stop talking about? I often find that these are the richest grounds for essays
I never thought about how simple that is — turn your conversations into blogs. There’s obviously so much that you talk to people about. There is bound to be something worth talking about. The writer from that blog said their essays are essentially going deeper into those specific conversations.
One thing that this would require doing(it’s still something I need to get in a habit of too) is making notes throughout your day. Whenever a conversation is finished, or you had a passing thought, just write something down — a small paragraph, a sentence, a phrase, or even some words to help remember. And when you get some time, expand on it a little with your thoughts from the conversations. That will continue to build throughout your days and weeks, and ideas will start coming in.
I’ve noticed that myself now, where I journal a lot more to myself about everything. I will try to get any of my thoughts(it doesn’t have to be through a conversation) out in the journal. That’s mainly to do with making sure that I won’t forget it.
Another point for me about deciding what to write about is the actual structure of the piece. There are some ideas that are short. There are some ideas that I feel like would need to be expanded on. But I end up overthinking, and it ends up overcomplicating things.
The best solution for that is to just write. That is the simplest solution out there. Screw wondering about if shit makes sense. You will get structure through writing repeatedly and seeing what works.
That’s why I’m trying not to worry about deciding on strict constraints or structures or layouts. The goal is to write. That’s also where I still need to get better because I do like structure. I do like having set ideas like JJ’s Words to go over some thoughts that I had. But that shouldn’t also stop me from writing standalone ideas, no matter how short or long, whenever I want.
But with that, I guess also comes a fear(a pointless fear, though) of whether what I’m writing is even worth reading. That’s another struggle. I don’t have that with my basketball writing because I know there is something that I can talk about that adds something for someone. With my personal writing, it feels very different. But I think the only solution to that is to not think or believe that it should add anything.
The act of writing should be the goal.
So, if you are thinking about writing and starting a blog. Don’t think about anything else other than to write. And to get your ideas of what to write about, just think back to the conversations you had or thoughts coming from watching TV shows, something you read in a book — it can literally be anything.
Related to this, people have the same issues with journaling.
I have lost count of how many times I’ve tweeted something about journaling. I am a big, big advocate of journaling, in whatever way that works for you — anything that will get you to write about your days, your thoughts, your struggles, and just what you’re going through in life.
I am not exaggerating when I say that the habit of journaling has been the most positive habit in my life.
I started this during the COVID lockdown in the summer of 2020. The start is difficult because you go through the same issues of deciding what to even write about. That’s where you just experiment and that’s when it gets better over time. It took me three years to get into a proper routine of writing each day without missing a beat.
But the most important thing you have to do is go into it with a mindset of just not caring about what you write. There can’t be a single filter in your writing. No one is going to read it but you, so you can just write everything and anything that goes into your head.
Sometimes I will just write my thoughts out loud. I like to have a conversation with myself in a way. I do like playing devil’s advocate. I like to write in a way I refer to myself as you, too.
People also ask how to set it up. That also goes back to starting a blog. The structure doesn’t matter. I keep it a very simple way of journaling.
I do it all on Notion. I have a calendar database. Each day is its own blank page. That is it. That’s mainly where I do my daily journals. I like to keep track of what I do, so that can be writing out the plan for the day or writing what I did at the end of the day. With that being the starting point, I can see what came up with it.
Let’s say on Tuesday I met up with a friend and went to work. Then I think about what happened there. What we talked about. Maybe something they mentioned sparked a thought. Same thing when I go to work. I think of it as going down rabbit holes.
I also have other types of journals when there are big things that happen. There are some stuff that deserve it’s own page, like the breakup I had. I will then write “my thoughts on the breakup” or something like that. And then I will write every thought I have related to that. Sometimes I will end up writing around 5k words.
I can’t stress enough how much that helps in clearing your mind, helping with stress, and figuring things out. It is a cliché when people say that writing slows down your mind because it really does. And once you put your words to paper(or computer), they kind of get off you and become real in a way. That’s how I process things. Whatever I need to process, I write, and I write a lot.
So, this is also something that people should stop worrying about how to start or what to write about and simply do.
One of the main things from the last month is meeting up with a childhood friend. We haven’t seen each other in over 3 years, nor texted or called throughout.
The big thing I took away from that is the cliche of you never know what someone is going through is so, so, so real.
I don’t know about you, but whenever I think about my issues or if I’m having a rough time, it always feels like everyone else's life is so great. Whenever I go out, it feels like other people just enjoy life more.
But nope. Everyone is going through something one way or the other, and unless you check up on your friends, you just won’t know. I didn’t text that friend for ages, and it was just a random thought of checking up and seeing how he was. And I find out a lot has happened.
Another point about this is how I don’t think anything will compare to childhood friends. You may lose contact, not see each other for years, but that is never, ever going away. It really doesn’t matter how long time has passed.
This has made me realise to check up on some people that I haven’t talked to in a while.
With a lot that has happened this month, I almost forgot the main thing that made me realise a lot this year.
I mentioned the breakup in my last post, and a few days later, I did something I usually don’t do, and it’s simply talk about things. I tend to keep my shit to myself. I don’t tend to like talking about my issues because it always feels like I’m bothering them.
But after one rough drunk night where things spilled a lot, I began to talk here and there about what happened, until one night after a shift, somehow a quick talk led to an over two-hour therapy session with three people from work.
I don’t think I have ever opened up to anyone in such a way, talking about the issues that were quite heavy to me. This was the first time that instead of journaling my way through things, I talked to people about it.
It was needed.
The thing that made it easy here, for once in my life, is the people that listened to it. I have known these people for not even three months, and all of the time spent with them was just at work. And yet, I have somehow been more vulnerable with them than anyone else.
And I think that came down to it feeling genuine: the people also genuinely seeming to care, and I talked without a fear or judgement. I feel like that is a big one. Being able to talk so freely about anything without a worry about judgement.
Since then, everything about that whole situation became easier. Since then, I’ve also felt more comfortable being open about it, and that has helped a lot in processing everything.
I think this one thing has been the best thing this year.
Now, the last thing that I wanted to talk about is touching on moving on from the breakup. It’s been over a month now, and it’s been a weird month.
Without sounding self-pitying, but becoming single right now made me realise that I still had little to no social life. I moved to London on my own without really knowing anyone. The only people that I knew were people I worked with but that is not your friend group a lot of the time.
I got into the relationship rather quickly after moving, so I didn’t make friends in that short span. And once the relationship started, my time mostly revolved around that. Almost all of my time was spent with her or our mutual friends(mainly her friends).
So, when it ended, it kind of was like, what do I do in my spare time now?
Not only about the social side but also just my hobbies and interests. Some of it came down to the relationship not being exactly healthy. In hindsight, we shouldn’t have devoted all of the time together and actually had our own lives outside of the relationship.
That’s why, now, it’s been getting back to myself before the relationship in a way. It’s starting to do things that I want to do again and not neglecting many things. I’ve been dedicating more time to reading, more time for my basketball stuff, more time for writing, and more time just going out socially.
But it still has me feeling being in a weird spot mentally, and I don’t know why. Things are great. Things are positive. Everything is looking up. It’s just this for this moment; it kind of still feels weird. I guess that comes from just having the freedom to do what you want and focus on yourself, and that can make you think like, okay, what do I do now?
I don’t know. Maybe this is a normal part of life after ending a relationship. I never had to break up with anyone. I never had someone that I had to consider like that, only for it to again go away suddenly. It’s just a weird, good time period.
There’s a bunch to say here, too. I haven’t touched on what I’ve been reading since my last post in 2025. So, here are the books that I’ve read so far:
Humankind: A hopeful history by Rutger Bregman
Small Great Things by Jodi Picoult
Notes on heartbreak by Annie Lord
How migration works by Hein de Haas
A Little Life by Hanya Yanagihara
Some of the books will have their own blog posts going through my notes and thoughts because, man, A Little Life was something else. I need to talk about that book.
My most recent book was Humankind, and it was an interesting read. The whole idea of the book is essentially that humans are actually quite kind and good. We are not as bad as everyone makes it out to be. It was nice to see a much more positive perspective on the world, especially when it feels like there are so many things going wrong in the world.
One of the main takeaways was to treat everyone as if they are kind because it has felt like everyone is more cynical about one another, and that will in turn make that true if you treat them that way.
Small Great Things was also a good read. It’s fiction, and it’s a story about a black mid-wife that gets blamed and put on trial for the murder of a white supremacist baby. It’s a book mainly digging into racism. I also enjoyed the ease of reading by how it was written. Its chapters are separated by the main character's first-person POV.
Notes on Heartbreak was fitting. I read that as I was going through the breakup, and it was a very nice, simple, quick read.
Right now, I’ve started two books, though I’m not sure yet which one I’ll be reading more. The first is To Paradise by Hanya Yanagihara. I only got it because I saw the author, and seeing how A Little Life was, I had to get it. The book is split into three separate plots in a way. Three alternate universes set in three different centuries. So far it has been good, but it’s a big ass book, so I think you have to commit to it.
The next is Will Smith’s memoir. I love memoirs and biographies.
One point about reading in general. It’s amazing how much reading you can get done if you actually make the time for it because you do have the time for it. It’s almost always a lie when someone says they don’t have time. It’s not that they don’t have time; it’s just that they aren’t making it a priority to read.
I have started to make a decision to go out and read, and it has paid off. I’ve read more in the last few weeks than I have in months.
To wrap things up, here are some other scattered thoughts(that I’d look to dive more into potentially) I had throughout the week and any content that I read, watched, and listened to:
I was in a bit of a hole recently, feeling a bit unmotivated to do stuff. What always works is cleaning your room. I don’t know what it is. Maybe it’s just one way of getting the ball rolling, but a good starting point to feeling productive is to clean your room
I binge-watched The Bear, and that might be one of my favourite shows.
The latest season was great. I liked how some of the episodes were shot. Pretty much all of the characters had their growth throughout the show. I absolutely LOVED Richie’s development. I just enjoyed how this show went into so many areas of life, even though the main thing was about opening a restaurant. It touched on grief, suicide, dysfunctional families, friendships, careers, toxicity in various ways, therapy, and so much more.
But one thing that it got me thinking about is my hospitality job and that career in general.
Maybe it’s not a good thing, but I did like Carmen’s character in terms of his work ethic and his obsession and dedication to his career. It obviously wasn’t healthy given the character’s issues. But that appeal is still there for me.
And I kind of dig the whole thrill, high-pressure, and fast pace kind of jobs. That does seem fun. I even look back to my basketball writing during the playoffs. That is a great feeling to have to sweat out work.
Specifically to hospitality, I don’t know long I’ll be in this career, but this show kind of made me realise that I should go hard at it for however long that is. I need to take advantage of these jobs because they can(and have) helped me in so many ways.
Related to that, after just a year in hospitality, everyone should try to get a job there. I have loved it so far.
One thing I realised is how easy it is to meet people and make friends
There are two very easy ways. The first one is probably the best, and it’s simply having your current friends introduce you to people. Simple as that. The second is being a regular somewhere, no matter what it is. You will naturally make conversations when you see the same people every time.
Here are some articles that I’ve read that were interesting:
The Anti Social Century — The Atlantic, 8/1/25
This might be worth looking into it more. There are so many things to unpack here(also another way of coming up with things to write about)
The Dawn of the Post-Literate Society — Cultural Capital, 19/9/25
Questions to ask your friends — Uncynical, 11/3/25
Why watching sports make people happy — Time, 11/6/26
The life changing skill to stop rumination — Milk and Cookies, 14/7/26
The best conversation help you hear yourself, Velvet Noise, 18/6/26
And that is it for this entry. It was a bit of a lengthy one(it’s always lengthy because I haven’t been consistent in doing it weekly, so ideas will pile up) but I hope there was something here for you that you enjoyed.
If you got to the end, thank you and I hope you have enjoyed JJ’s Words and have a great day!
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